facets of attraction

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i was reading an article about attraction in Discover's The Brain magazine, and i wanted to share the information here. it was called "The Rules of Attraction" by Paul Bloom (Fall 2010).

feel free to disagree with the findings, as i am interested to know what you think. i am sure that you know the findings they presented are averages and trends, not absolutes that apply to everyone.

the article discusses the facets or criteria we use in order to choose our mates, on a subconscious level.... feel free to add aspects you think should be included, and strike some from the list.

please note: none of these aspects are gender-specific.


familiarity

a person who is familiar is considered more attractive than an equally-rated individual who is unfamiliar even if you never speak to that person.... the experiment involved strangers in a classroom who never interacted or spoke. apparently 15 casual sightings of some length leads to the highest level of attraction.

(also, in cases where interaction does occur, if you get along with a person you are more likely to consider them physically attractive.)


intelligence

apparently smart people tend to be considered more attractive in a lot of cases, and also some study found that good-looking people tend to be smarter than the rest of us by about 8 IQ points. on the other hand, it has been shown that people tend to marry mates of about equal intelligence.


faithfulness

this is usually tested as a couple gets to know each other, as it isn't something that is readily apparent. sticking around with someone untrustworthy runs counter to our biological instincts, as we needs our mates to be reliable for various reasons. a polyamourous relationship is built on trust as much as a monogamous one, of course.


ostentatiousness

this one is interesting (and i don't 100% agree, but i'll present it anyways). sexual ornamentation in humans apparently takes many forms, including art, sports, charitable activities, humour, acts of bravery, kindness, monetary gifts, etc. these kinds of ornamentation set a person apart others because they are displaying their worth to you they don't mean financial ostentatiousness necessarily, though for some men and women that is effective.

basically, the courtship display (remember this is both men and women, though they may display differently sometimes) needs to demonstrate positive personality qualities in a manner that indicates some level of self-sacrifice. so... comforting your mate in a scary movie, taking half a day to make a special dinner, spending your last dollars on a nice present, writing a poem, etc... these are ways that we demonstrate our worth to our potential mate.

this display doesn't have to be directed at the potential lover necessarily. a person who rescues ducks from an oil spill will seem very attractive even though they are doing a good work for society. also actors and sports people hold a lot of worth in society's eyes for the work they do, even though a lover doesn't necessarily benefit. we like to be entertained and people who entertain us are considered more attractive.

in my opinion it may be partly a matter of matching the correct display with the object of your affection. if there is a disconnect there, then you may not be compatible.


physical attractiveness

health and youth and symmetry blah blah blah you know the drill. BUT there's more!! !!

apparently... the most attractive faces are the most "average". when researchers took two different (attractive) faces and combined them... the result was a face that was invariably considered more attractive than either individual one. we like faces that look... normal.

there are a few of reasons for this. first of all, non-average faces can be extremely beautiful OR they run the risk of being extremely ugly. non-average faces are polarising, which OKCupid also found in one of their studies. OKCupid had some good advice to emphasise those things that make you look different because if you can't look "average" you will be still be hugely attractive to a small subset of people - just not attractive to most people in general.

the second reason average is attractive is because they are literally "easy on the eyes": average faces require less visual processing, and we prefer images that are easier to process. finally, it also indicates heterozygosity (genetic diversity)

keep in mind these are trends only. i found that for myself, looking at sample faces i often preferred one of the originals more than the blended faces. so it can be highly individual.


that special something

it's hard to explain this part, so i'll use an example from the article. Capgras syndrome is a condition in which an afflicted person believes that all friends and family members have been replaced by imposters who are identical to the originals in every way. but yet... they are different.

in the same way, if our lovers are replaced by identical individuals... it wouldn't be the same. it wouldn't be that one special person. so in essence, we come to love that one individual and not just the sum of their qualities and traits.

Sounds good, I agree.

thanks!

i just looked at it again, and it's tooooo longggg i think. oh well. hopefully there is something useful in there. you know, Boo, i thought of you going to that woman's hospital bedside when i summarised the "ostentatiousness" part. it' not the best word for it, but buried in there is the idea that women really, really like it when you come to their "rescue".

i know that you were there after the fact, but still i think it is a powerful move on your part (which you probably didn't even see as a "move" because it was natural for you to care about her welfare. but to her it will be big i think).

i see what you did there!! !

hyper and boo agreeing on something about dating. 2012 HAS COME EARLY, EVERYONE RUN

The way I see it is a little untrue in some sense but generally it is correct.

Get back to me with more info on the special something. But I liked it and agree.

The only descriptor I'm a little unsure about is the one for intelligence. Finding a trend that says good-looking people are smarter than their "average" parts by 8 IQ points almost puts me under the impression I'd have to somehow change my physical appearance to prove I am remotely intelligent. Otherwise, it's pretty accurate.

That may be how it works for most people but for me I mostly experience Familiarity & Ostentatiousness(I'm not quite sure I understand that one is so maybe I'm wrong about it). Intelligence attraction for me is kind of reverse because I tend to be more attracted to less intelligent people but that may be to to my experiences(people who are less smart tend to be more relatable, more accepting of me, care more about what I have to say, aren't as bossy with me, & don't make me feel like I'm stupid) but intelligence doesn't play a huge part in attraction for me

I'd say this is a good breakdown of it. Most males my age simply rate how 'hot' a girl is in deciding whether or not to try and date her. I have found that I have a different system to my compatriots, and it could be that I observe their interactions to hopefully determine intelligence and ostentatiousness. As for intelligence, I would say it is more intellectualism. Despite my academic grades current and past, my friends still believe me to be ridiculously smart. I quote things, I regurgitate facts, and I know a lot about a lot of things. Is that intelligence? I think I would prefer someone my intellectual equal, as opposed to having the same ability with, say calculus, for example.