What do you consider cheating?

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abaisse
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25 Feb 2012, 10:59 am

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

If it goes against the established lines of the relationship, it's cheating.

This. I couldn't agree more.

ValentineWiggin
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25 Feb 2012, 11:00 am

abaisse wrote:

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

If it goes against the established lines of the relationship, it's cheating.

This. I couldn't agree more.

Same.

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25 Feb 2012, 11:16 am

hale_bopp wrote:

Cheating is doing something involving others that your partner doesn't approve of behind their back.

It's really that simple.

Umm, unless your partner is a controlling psycho who doesn't "approve" of any activity that might loosen his/her control, right? Sorry, I just think this definition is far too broad, and could lead to the abuse of someone inexperienced.

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hale_bopp
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25 Feb 2012, 2:30 pm

HopeGrows wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

Cheating is doing something involving others that your partner doesn't approve of behind their back.

It's really that simple.

I'm not talking about deranged lunatics. I'm talking about regular people. If it's a deranged lunatic, cheating is the least of that person's problems.

Tequila
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25 Feb 2012, 2:41 pm

Fnord wrote:

How about if I read a Harry Potter book without her knowing and she's a die-hard fundie evangelical Christian who thinks that even the mention of magic is a damnable offense? Is that cheating?

You're being mischievous. It refers to other people, not non-sexual things.

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25 Feb 2012, 4:03 pm

Every time I hear the word, I always picture someone going out with someone while they are already in a relationship. Someone who goes and has sex with someone else than with their partner.

Unless it's a open relationship, I don't see that as real cheating and if they are going through a divorce or are separated and have no intention of going back, I don't see why the person shouldn't date.

But I think when both people get together and get into a relationship, they both need to talk about what they consider cheating so that way there are no misunderstandings.

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25 Feb 2012, 4:08 pm

CanadianRose wrote:

myth wrote:

I agree with the general consensus on this thread. There is no hard and fast one-size-fits all rule. Some couples are allowed to sleep with other people even. But if your partner knows about it and is ok with it, it's not cheating. On the other hand, if you are doing something that you feel the need to hide from your partner, even if it is just talking to someone, you should really stop and think about why you are doing it and why you have to hide it. If it's something you know your partner will be upset about, it just might be cheating.

I wanted to make a comment about "just talking to someone" - if one's partner gets upset about "just talking" to someone - this might be indicative of a controlling and abusive partner. Get help and, quite possibly, get out of this relationship.

My ex was always bothered when I talk to my parents because he would then worry and want to know what we talked about and what I said to them. So I started to do it when he wouldn't be home. Plus I would go outside to talk to them. I found out this was a form of emotional abuse. Does it still count as abuse if someone is very sensitive and so paranoid about what others think of them it makes them not want you to talk to others on the phone or that they want to know everything you said you feel you have to do it behind their backs?

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25 Feb 2012, 11:48 pm

For me, it would involve intimacy with someone other than their partner. Nothing more.

However, some people consider watching porn, or even having platonic friends of the opposite sex to be cheating (I don't, and with all due respect, thinking that is considered insecurity).

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Last edited by Tim_Tex on 27 Feb 2012, 6:49 am, edited 1 time in total.

AvatarMew
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26 Feb 2012, 10:55 am

Cuddles... Esspecially cuddles... It's pshyical AND emotional affection and inimacy...

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26 Feb 2012, 6:21 pm

hale_bopp wrote:

HopeGrows wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

Cheating is doing something involving others that your partner doesn't approve of behind their back.

It's really that simple.

I'm not talking about deranged lunatics. I'm talking about regular people. If it's a deranged lunatic, cheating is the least of that person's problems.

That's the problem with deranged lunatics: they never admit who they really are. Instead, they are charming and smart and funny and attentive and romantic and flirty....so much so that you don't really mind accommodating their requests. By the time you've stopped doing everything they "disapprove" of, you've become completely isolated. Not a pretty picture, but something that can happen when inequity creeps into a relationship.

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Looneytunes
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26 Feb 2012, 6:59 pm

hale_bopp wrote:

Cheating is doing something involving others that your partner doesn't approve of behind their back.

It's really that simple.

Pretty much that is it.
It could be just talking to a X boyfriend or girlfriend.
It could be meeting someone - even though you are not doing anything.
It could be as clear cut as having sex or kissing someone that you are sexually attracted to.
My comment once was that if a woman had sex with another woman and one of the women were dating me - it would still be cheating, even though there was not another man in the picture.
Cheating is cheating.

Wolfheart
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27 Feb 2012, 3:05 am

hale_bopp wrote:

Cheating is doing something involving others that your partner doesn't approve of behind their back.

It's really that simple.

I think that nailed it, cheating is something that is done without the consensus and agreement of your partner, it could be emotional cheating, a simple hug or intimately having sex with another person.

tim1982
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27 Feb 2012, 3:15 am

"Innocent" flirting, just thinking intimate thoughts about another person, and anything more than a friendly greeting hug.

hale_bopp
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27 Feb 2012, 5:42 am

HopeGrows wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

HopeGrows wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

Cheating is doing something involving others that your partner doesn't approve of behind their back.

It's really that simple.

I'm not talking about deranged lunatics. I'm talking about regular people. If it's a deranged lunatic, cheating is the least of that person's problems.

They're still deranged lunatics. I'm not talking about them.

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27 Feb 2012, 6:43 am

Grisha wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

Cheating is doing something involving others that your partner doesn't approve of behind their back.

It's really that simple.

^This^

If it's something you wouldn't do if your partner was standing right there, it's cheating.

Yep. No rule is iron-tight, but this is a pretty good guideline

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27 Feb 2012, 6:44 am

Anything more than a one-off drunken snog.

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