"too emotionless" to have a relationship

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The majority of people in my life are of the opinion that I am "cold" and lacking emotion. I know the exact opposite is true, however, as I feel sometimes like I am literally bursting at the seams with feelings and emotions, esp. regarding possible romance.

My mother thinks apparently that I am too "cold-hearted" to ever be in a relationship, and that I would just put off a girlfriend by not wanting to share feelings or be intimate with her. I had someone on here tell me last week that I "don't understand how attraction works." I know for a fact though that the diametric-opposite of this is true of me............. I think I am so full and overwhelmed of thoughts sometimes, that I can be overbearing or just lock up and say nothing at all. I also crave intimacy so much.

Sometimes it pisses me off that people in my life think I am a cold and heartless "aspie," when in fact I know I probably have many more feelings than they do. I think at times I can just let it all out, to the point where it gets interpreted as anger. Or, I get overwhelmed by some feelings and I might go silent for long periods of time, which gets interpreted as a lack of empathy. In any case, I think I am definitely "mature enough" and "ready" for an intimate relationship, as I feel I have a far greater awareness of these things than most NTs do...... but I don't necessarily express it in the most conventional manner, which makes it get misinterpreted.

I would have to agree with you on this. I think we actually have stronger emotion to the point that we are forced to close ourselves up to avoid having a meltdown. However this closing up is interpreted as selfishness and coldness by people, they dont understand why we do it.

Yeah, when I was discussing this with my mother, she imposed on me the idea that 'if I was in a relationship, my girlfriend and I would do nothing but "fight all of the time."'

I attempted to respond to her and explain to her the difference between constructive and destructive conflict. Personally, I view some constructive conflict as healthy and good for a dynamic relationship.

Her response to me was that, "Well, I know some couples who are happy and "never fight.""

Personally, I'm not sure if she would really understand that what might be going on in those superficially-placid relationships is that one partner in the marriage might be dominating, and the other might be seething with resentment..... but they live in misery from never airing their disagreements out to try and solve them. (This is what went on in my own home-life for all my time growing up.) I personally disagree with people who are so desperate to avoid all "conflict," that they will accept a bad situation for years and years rather than try and fight back.

I view just letting loose as a catharsis, as long as it is constructive and does not devolve in to useless slinging.

Some I've known offline; especially my parents tend to feel that way about me as well Pengu1n. The big issue with me is that I do not feel comfortable with them or most other people & as Vomelche mentioned; I close myself off. However one of the biggest reasons why I want a relationship is because I have an extremely high desire to close with someone & be able to let all those feelings out. I know from my limited relationship history that I do get very close & sensitive, affectionate ect with my partners. I can only really let one person get close to me at a time thou

solution: find a partner who is equally emotionless.

Better to find someone who's willing to go slow at 1st & take the time to get to know each other well & lets him feel more safe & secure before wanting/pressuring him to get more emotional

why should he be pressured to change? he is what he is.

No one tells pop-eye to cut down on the spinach