Going to a funrun tomorrow, and I WILL meet someone

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I'm racing a 4 miler tomorrow. It's down in an area where a lot of young people are, and there is a good turnout usually. I'm gonna race my heart out, an maybe I'll impress somebody.

I'm determined to get over my f*****g loser inability to talk to women. I WILL talk to somebody. I WILL meet somebody. Maybe tomorrow I'll FINALLY meet someone who'll accept me.

If I don't, I'm f*****g done. With everything I think. Life's not worth living if you're alone and a loser like me.

I wish you the best on your race tomorrow, I hope you have fun! I think that you should focus your attention on enjoying yourself and the race though, I think that if you make the experience ALL about meeting someone you are setting yourself up for failure from the start. For example, I volunteer sometimes, and if I go out to do some volunteer work with the mindset that I HAVE to meet someone there, I can tell you even before I start that it's not going to happen. Perhaps it's simply the added pressure, perhaps it's the fear of failing that goal. However if I go just to have fun and enjoy myself, chances are I will enjoy myself and just might happen meet a few people I get along with as well. I'm not trying to discourage you in any way, I just think that if you're able to change your way of thinking a bit you might end up having more success at your race.

Enjoying myself and trying to go with the flow has gotten me nowhere. It's like no one notices me.

I'm going to talk to people, I'm going to get phone numbers, I'm going to ask someone out.. I've just got to find someone now before it's too late.

That's a lot of pressure to put on a measley 4 miles. Unless maybe you realize at mile-marker 3 that you are an interesting, complex and complete person even if you don't suit the fashion of the moment and that there's nothing wrong with you. You're fine. You're a person in the world. You're a part of the whole. And if YOU like and accept you, it's a much better bet that other people will like and accept you.

edited to add: chat don't cruise. cruising is creepy.

I just don't believe it. We are defined by by our friends, and who love us. And right now I'm utterly worthless. A piece of garbage who doesn't deserve to live. But if I can find someone who will love me, it will mean I AM worthy of love and life. I've got to find it soon. Got to find it NOW!

I'm going to run my heart out. Of course, there are people who will be there who are better than me, so I'm already a loser, but maybe someone will be impressed by how well I do, and will think me worth her time.

Maybe that's true on TV, but in real life that's a bunch of BS. Nothing "defines" you. You can't be summed up in a pithy phrase.

But others can, and I can't bear not being wanted. Can't bear being alone.

That's difficult and I completely empathize with this. It's Friday night and I'm posting on an internet forum. Clearly I'm not Miss Popularity. Within the last couple of years I've lost touch with most of my circle of friends due to moves, relationships. career changes and whatever else. It's an odd thing to suddenly find yourself mostly if not completely alone. It's also interesting what you discover about yourself.
Without the external noise and opinions of my old friends, I realized that I really don't like U2 or the Red Hot Chili Peppers. (I mean I REALLY don't like them) Turns out I do really like riding my bike and going to museums and the library and generally being a free-range nerd.. Basically, I didn't realize that I could like whatever the fork I wanted until I didn't have to worry about what my friends might think was cool.
It's an interesting time for me right now. I'm finding out who I am without any of that noise or drama to distract me. I realized the other day that while I probably won't snag a boyfriend this year, I probably won't snag a jerk who will do me damage either.
Spending time with yourself isn't a bad thing. And frankly, even in a relationship you have no idea if you're legitimately wanted or not. Maybe that other person just can't bear to be alone.
Seriously. You're not that bad. You can stand your own company. I'm sure of it.

+1 to this! I'm in the same boat as well. Really, OP, if things don't work out in the run, settle in trying to find yourself! You never know yourself fully until you explore it, right?

there are these two hot people, (and i use that term because thats what they are ok.) that walk by my house almost every day. goddamn, i just want to go up to one if not both of them and say something maybe stare at there hot ears fantasizing about f-ing them all the way to the moon

but it will never happen so i dont fool myself. so i have the same problem

i'll be checking this topic again to see if anyone has a viable answer. good luck

excellent advice.

That sounds like me a few years ago. It's strangely freeing.

How did it go, Brian?