Mayel wrote:
Yes, I do.
And after trying to delete my memories by deleting and avoiding everything that reminded me of him....I sensed that it didn't help.
It's been 5 years and now I think it's probably useless to try to forget. I have to accept that it was an experience, things happen, people come and go. And probably some experiences, some people are unique and won't repeat themselves ever.
If you've lost the connection once, no matter why,....and you can't reconnect. That's just the way it is.
So like the poster above said....maybe it'll go away the day you meet someone you'll obsess over as you did with him.
I lost my friendship because I don't know how to keep them. I am either too clingy or too distant....
I think in my head that I wish him all the best because he gave me something beautiful and knowing that this beauty exists though I may not reach it ever again, makes me look at the world with different eyes than before.
I compare my experience with him with others I had...and probably will do so in the future.
I don't have any advice other than accepting this as a fatalistic twist of time.
I was not in it for sex...and he felt that we should have sex
He used to forward erotic mails to me and made comments like i would come to your house
but for what i should come??? so i said to read books etc
And he would say that he wasnt interested in books, he would come if there was something much better
He used to indirectly ask for sex
And at some point he felt that having sex would damage this relationship because he was already married
and for me i was not interested in sex i just liked his company, his smile and being in love with him
overall it was dead end i guess
_________________
The only thing right in this wrong world is
WRONG PLANET