Thinking too much before anything significant happens.

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I've noticed I have this bad and counterproductive 'dating habit' (and mentally draining) of thinking, measuring and analyzing too much before anything significant actually happens!

I've decided to follow a reverse mindset about this from now on : making something actually happens and THEN I go start analyze stuff....


Anyone felt the same?

Definitely, but I'm not sure I *can* reverse it (with me) - I analyze everything.

Also, it's the way I try to make sense of all human behavior, regardless of whether it directly affects me. I'd have to go way, way, way out of my way to distract myself or purposely keep myself from analyzing.

It's harder to see exactly how one *jeopardizes* oneself with this overanalysis. But I think that's key.

sounds like a typical thing for an aspie. doesnt have to be dating it could just be about cooking dinner. sets the mind racing.

Been there, done that, and still do it from time to time. If you're anything like me, Boo, the problem might lie in it's execution, not mindset. I've tried that and later just resort to killing the interest. That way, sure, it's not the best plan, but it (temporarily) kills that thought process.

I'm this to the extreme... I can't even feel attracted to someone until I think enough about her.

Yup. By-and-large I live a measured life at every moment. I'm under my own microscope at all times because I don't trust my behaviors without. I don't even significantly drop control when drinking.

Getting myself to deliberately tip and be impulsive [1] helps me retain my balance. Otherwise it's my habit to spend each waking moment up my own bum.

[1] This sounds contradictory, and spelled out in English I imagine it is... It's still true. Moderation in all things, including moderation.

and once I realize that I was either deluded or I've failed or achieved nothing (well, i'v achieved something else tho at least), I think something like "why the hell I was investing all those thoughts in this??! !".

Duh!

I hear ya! Liberating, isn't it?

yea, but i still feel bad for how stupid I was ;p..

Its somrthing ive been working on for a while now. I think ive dgotten much better at just letting things go and being second to put thought into things.

I have a very similar problem. At first I could barely talk to my GIRLFRIEND, so I was almost to shy to talk to a girl I asked out. Then I started being able to talk to her only when I had something important to say. Now I've started to stop over analyzing and can be around her and talk in casual situations, I'm getting good at this. I haven't kissed her or held her hands yet because of the worry of bad happening of I try. Maybe the reverse mindset will help with that, Next time I see her I'll do, think later.

I very strongly identify with the over-analysis problem you've identified.

The tricky bit is realizing that you're doing it, WHEN you're doing it, rather than afterwards.

I'm not sure I'm that self-aware just yet, but you've inspired me to focus a bit more on it.

So yeah... thinking more about how to spot the times when I think too much.

Makes more sense than it first appears to!

I've managed to beat the overthinking habit with mindfulness meditation. I'm now empty-headed and serene.

i do this too. its awful XD

whats mindfulness meditation? could you elaborate?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindfulness_(psychology)

there's plenty of stuff online about it. maybe I'll dig for some better links for you later.