Predicted outcome, different reaction - change in priorities

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I've been here on WP for a while now and one piece of advice I've seen on some of the threads is "not to think about wanting a relationship". It was only recently I actually figured out what that piece of advice meant, and it's actually pretty sound advice! Let me dive into an example...

There's this girl I gained a lot of feelings for a few months back. Because I wasn't sure of my feelings and I had suspicions she liked someone else I knew well in advance of my feelings, I decided to keep the scenario within arm's length (no pun intended). Through talking to a couple friends, I find out my suspicions were right! She actually does like that other guy, and it seems there's not a whole lot I can do about it.

Yet, while I admit to being slightly disappointed at the outcome, I'm not consumed by bitterness! I still hang out with her in group scenarios and we still talk every now and then. Moreover, I feel that this scenario isn't a complete loss, as I'd rather end up with a friend than none at all. It's also taught me I don't need to put so much emphasis on getting into a relationship to make myself happy. Since then, I've been happily writing music and hanging out with my friends, and hearing of others' relationships doesn't get me in a bind!

I guess what I'm trying to say is...don't think too much of the opportunities you want or don't have. Take a step back and look at the good qualities you have - you may surprise yourself!!

I've followed this advice all my life, and it doesn't really get me anywhere....then again, I am not really bothered if some girl I like doesn't feel the same way...I just find flaws in them to not be bothered.

I'd say the bolded part is a step in the right direction! Also, finding flaws in someone is another way to not focus on them at all, provided you don't go too far with it.

It's what I've been doing for years. I've never even had a female friend, as the very few women in my age category that I've met tend to ignore me.
A few months ago, I suddenly started worrying about that, as it hasn't paid off in approximately seven years, and I'm pretty much at a point in my life where most people have already had plenty of experience.

Is World of Warcraft still around? I'll need a new excuse soon.

What about trying to indulge in your interests? Sometimes I find if the problem is too overbearing, my interests are the only things that reverse my mood!

A good reason to not get emotionally attached too early on or allow yourself to be in a vulnerable situation until you have made a mutual and emotional commitment to each other.



Good to see you aren't relying all of your happiness on a relationship, relationships aren't the start and the end of everything, many people on here believe that a relationship will free them from their burdens and responsibilities when that's clearly not the case.

Admittedly, my social blindness almost kicked in and thought the connection was emotional. If I hadn't decided to confirm it with my friends, I probably wouldn't be feeling the way I currently am about it. Not to mention there was a lot more going on in my personal life before this one (which I might explain in another post)



That bolded part is what I learned from it all! I find it weird I learned it even though I've never been in a relationship in my life. I'm not being alone for a life choice, but a temporary break shouldn't be a bad thing, right?