I can't live with myself anymore...

Post Reply New Topic

honestly, I'm becoming increasingly desperate to find a girl friend. but I never got to meet anyone and i'm already 18, soon to be 19 and i've never met a girl who actually liked me. is it so hard to find someone?

My mom convinced me to use match.com, but it's not working.


ok, so I have my fantasies, and i'm not proud of it at all. problem is it all gets worse the longer I live all alone. by that I mean, I often lose my self crying about it. then I get very angry and this leads to all kinds of issues.

One of these days, I'll probally just kill myself, seeing as my life has no meaning or purpose. I'm just so lonley, and it's tearing me apart.

I don't know what to do, I can honestly say if A girl would ever care for me, I'd do anything for her. but no one seems to care about that, and everyone always thinks of me as some kind a freak just becuase of the Asperger's thing.

I'm just not sure how I can ever find someone special, i don't know what to do, no one wants me.

Why do you want a girl so badly?

Sometimes it's better to be alone than in the wrong relationship. Believe me, I know how it feels to be lonely.


I'd suggest to try to go places where you might find a girl who shares your interests. That way, you'll have something to talk about and share throughout your relationship, even when you get old.


Edit: sorry, had to delete

Last edited by goodwitchy on 29 Jan 2012, 12:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sorry, one more note about what you wrote here:

I know how you feel, but you will find when you get older that while companionship is very comforting, it still may not give your life "purpose" in the way you think it would.

What do you really want; a long-term relationship with woman that is fulfilling for the both of you, a short-term relationship that merely affirms your attractiveness, or a one-night stand that "cures" your virginity?

All I want is someone who understands me, to always be with.


not to be rude but,
I'm starting to think alot of wrongplanet members don't care to understand just how important it is to be a good part of another persons life. why is it that no one else around values a good friendship? or close relationship? it's like i'm the only one who actually wants friends, and a caring relationship with a special person.

I'm a very sensitve guy, ok so I need someone to really care for.
I need to feel important to someone. But I guess I'll never be important to anyone.

I used to think that people Asperger's like me would be more sensitve to this sort of thing. perhaps I was wrong. no matter it only proves that I don't fit in with other Asperger's people or anyone else. I must be the only Asperger's person who has feelings. at least when it comes to what is truely impotant in life.

Hmmm...I've actually read quite a few WP threads similar to yours - people who are very lonely. The problem for many is the same as yours; they can't seem to find the right person or anyone who is interested in them. Or they are really uncomfortable socially, but want to learn these skills.

I've also come across many who do want friends....there are entire sections on WP dedicated to Love and Dating and Making Friends and Social Skills. I think Asperger's people care about these things. If this wasn't important, you wouldn't see so many posts in these sections.

You must have been reading in the wrong sections, or just decided to misinterpret. Because wrongplanet is filled with people who appreciate close relationships, and desire the same as you.
Can't speak for Fnord, but my question was just that, a question. Because regardless of what i may feel or think, does not mean you feel the same. So I ask in order to understand your desires/motives.
Lastly though, what is truly important in life is quite relative.

It's not that people here don't value them so much as it seems most realize that just complaining about it won't get you anywhere, and that if you want something, you have to work towards it. It takes commitment, dedication, so much more than wishing or hoping that it will just happen. It also does not seem very healthy to have to rely on someone else entirely for your own happiness. I'd even go as far as to say it's a bit selfish.

Believe me, first you need to like who you are. If you don't enjoy being with yourself, why would anyone else? Try being your own best friend. Do things that make you happy. Do things that you think you might like in someone else? I know I love men who play an instrument, so I took up playing the guitar. I love men who are well read, so I read a lot myself. I love motorcycles, so I learned how. Doing all these things made me really like who I am. Even though part my impetus was to attract someone, it also gave me a sense of self, I had something in common with the person I wanted to attract. Sometimes you have to look within to find the peace you are looking for. Your loneliness comes from being unfulfilled. Fill yourself up so someone else can see how much you have to offer.

By the way, I am also one of the rare aspies who feels. However, I have the ability to "shut myself off". Sometimes it gets too much for me.

I agree. Women can smell desperation a mile off and it isn't appealing. It comes across as being needy. Better to get to know members of the opposite sex from a friendship point of view first and find out what you have got in common and see where it goes from there - if there is mutual attraction nature will take its course.

I don't know what to say... I havn't seen many post or anything that show that Asperger's other then a small few are in any way sensitve or emotional... I could make alist of the things wrongplanet memebers are not. I really don't want to offend anybody. but I feel offended but the lack of sensitive people in this communtiy. I am very offended by the fact that theres a lot of hatefull memebers on this site.

some members are giving Asperger's a very bad name. I'm just talking in general. I'm not going to point names or anyhting.

Like i've said, I really don't mean this the wrong way. it's just a concern thats all.

cinbad, good advice.

/\ me too

A minor point, but it is Aspergers not asbergers.

Well, Asperger's is indeed a bad name.

In my experience, if you feel like you NEED a relationship, you are not likely to find one. That vibe is scary to people, it comes across as desperate, and they will avoid it.

You cannot expect someone else to make your life complete. You have to make your life complete for yourself and by yourself, and then someone will find their way into it to share it, assuming it is meant to be for you.

I didn't get married until I was 36, and my sister didn't get married until she was 42, despite many relationships along the road for both of us, and strong desires early on to get married, so I know this one from personal experience. You have to flip the road on what it is you want and expect.