A message I got this morning and some stuff surrounding it

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Lets put things into perspective for a minute.
Have I recently won the lottery, got a great amount of money from a will or something similar? No.
Have I just bought a fancy racing car? No as well.

So what exactly have I done:

A few weeks ago I decided I´d take any opportunity of socializing that came up because I had been putting that aside for a long while and I needed to get back to work on this area.

I saw an ad asking if I wanted to speak to some local us citizens and since it was free I figured it could be a nice experience.
First day there I met a really nice guy that invited me to an open mic night that would happen that friday and we talked about each other for a while. Since I was keeping an open mind about things I told him to count me in for the open mic night.

That thursday I went back to the conversation place and I met the event organizer who was thrilled to see my enthusiasm towards things and invited me along to another event that was happening that evening at her place just so I got to know everyone that would be there for the open mic night.

Fast forward a day to prevent this from turning into a huge post:
So I had met this people and they were all really nice, so as you may understand I went to this open mic night with hopes of just hanging out with some nice people.

I arrived there sorta early and I took a seat on a small table that was taken by a few us citizens and one spaniard.
I re-introduced myself(last night there were too many people I didnt get a chance to speak to everyone) and they did the same.
One of the members had asked me for some pictures to remember things and I took out my camera and started taking a couple of photographs.

I started trying to joke with the girl that was next to me and she went along with things/seemed to enjoy the attention so we were doing silly things for a while(pretending I was trying to take a picture of her when she wasnt expecting it/ asking things about our lives and trying to make fun of the small things...)

At one point one of them ordered some still water and another one on the table started freaking out about the price of it.
I offered to change things and in less than a minute I was back without having had to raise my voice. I explained them I had told the local bartender they were foreigners and they just wanted a glass of tap water.

The night kept going on and the girl besides me and I ended up having to team up to write a letter to another us girl. Some guy told me what he wanted to say in Spanish, I translated into English, she and I tried to find a way to make it sound nice in English and she wrote the whole thing. We had a few laughs during this as well.

At some point event organizer showed up and said they didnt have a picture of me since I was taking the pictures and on eof the guys offered to take a picture with me, we had talked the previous night and were sort of friends.
After this girl that was sitting next to me asked to have her picture taken with me as well. I teased her about if she was just jealous of my friend and she just smiled back at me.
The picture of this guy and I was with both of us fairly close so I was expecting something similar.
Instead an arm of each of us appears missing because she decided to put her arm around me and I replied back in the same way.
We had had plenty of fun that night and she wanted to end things in this manner.



The picture has several likes from people that dont know her and have just met me online because we both look extremely happy in it.


So lets recapitulate shall we: I put myself out there knowing the risks and I tried to approach a nice girl without any mind tricks/game at play. The result was a fun night were we both were extremely happy and we met a few other times to continue with the silly flirting...
Did anything serious happen?. No, she was going back to US in less than a week and neither of us wanted to get any more involved.

What was the point of this thread then?. I was just trying to show that there are plenty of girls out there that are just looking for a nice guy that doesnt follow some sort of PUA routine or anything similar to that and is just being himself.

Your story is proof that the "nice guys finish last" line is complete BS.

wow, awesome experience!! !! this part was seriously WIN:

your new friends were upset and uncomfortable and you fixed it for them. that is a very powerful thing to do as it shows that you care and that you have confidence. very impressive.

the story really made me smile.

Very good. I congratulate you on your social progress!

He didn't get a gf, he got a friend.


Spongy, is there a reason why this thread is in L&D and not in the social skills section? if you were interested in her beyond friendship, then you didn't completely win because you didn't achieve your goal. Friendship-wise you might have won, romance-wise....not likely and not yet.

Well, like you, I did a huge social progress especially with the opposite sex.

Making friends with a girl is easy, and yes even silly-flirting her is easy as well, even hugging her and struggling your arms around her...... but beyond that there is a totally different monster.

So do not dismiss all PUA as s**t and assume things from ideal perspective.

Continue in your social/dating efforts, and you'll understand what I mean here very...very soon.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 05 Apr 2012, 6:46 am, edited 2 times in total.

That was more or less a response to what he said about PUA and nice guys.

This particular story neither approves nor disapproves "nice guys finish last" nor PUA stuff.

There are plenty of posts in this section about how all girls are evil and whatnot.

If said posts were at the social skills section I´d have gladly put it there, however as you can see several people asked if we were dating due to how we looked in the picture(got another message about it after posting this) so in a way its related to L&D.

Im aware that making a friend from the opposite sex and a partner are two different stories but I see plenty of posts by males that are afraid to approach women even in a friendly manner so I thought Id point out that most women reply in a friendly manner if you approach them in a non-threatening way.

Im not assuming all PUA is sh*t. Ive done some research on the field and Ive found some good advice. Ive also found some things that would only work if you arent looking for anything specific and arent afraid of being rejected plenty of times in one night.

Ive said it several times but here we go again: if PUA works for you Im happy for you. However PUA isnt for everyone imo and Im trying to save some of the members the hassle of having to do plenty of research to find out it may not work for them(which is something plenty of the people on the PUA field dont mention)

Im not trying to proof which theory is right.
Im just posting my personal experience and making any big assertions from this particular story would most likely be a big mistake

I used to be able to be friends with any girl. but that was it, just friends and not even good ones. now a days i cant even do that.