Back to square sone

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Ten years ago my ex divorced me. I had finally had to deal with Gender Identity Disorder (GID) that had been a problem all my life and had just had a MtF sex change. My then wife, Pamela, and I had discussed the situation a lot before I went through with the surgery. We agreed that we would try to stay together but would split up if we couldn't make it work. Things went OK when I transitioned but 15 months later, and three months after my surgery, Pamela told me that she didn't think she could cope with it. Fair enough. We divorced nine months later. All this happened some five years before I discovered that I'm an aspie.

The events that led up to our marriage were quite complicated but suffice it to say that in three months I went from not being able to get a girlfriend to being engaged. The marriage lasted 27 years. The divorce de-railed me completely. Now as a woman I remain attracted to women and regard myself as lesbian. And I find myself right back where I was before I got engaged ... utterly unable to get a girlfriend.

Does anyone else here have this experience of a relationship break-up setting you back virtually to adolescence as regards establishing a new relationship?

uhm, I'd recommend you to ask a mod to move this thread to the LGBT section, you'd probably have more and better feedback there.

I don't see what this has to do with the transition process, it seems (to me) more about getting back into the dating pool after a longterm relationship break up.

OP, I have this issue, too. I feel like I have absolutely no instincts or natural capabilities when it comes to dating. I'm very methodical, and that's a huge turnoff to most people (plus it just wastes a lot of my time and hurts some people).

I find, additionally, that it's really difficult at this age (I'm in my 40s) and in my situation (full time job, small children who live with me). There are so few single people at this level. Almost no one attracts me beyond a very visceral physical level (and no, I don't approach them, most of those guys are young enough to be my sons).

I've been trying to up my activity level, to participate in things more, to really just get out there. So far, nothing has happened, and I'm pretty sure it won't, for me, if I don't figure out the normal skills, signals, etc. But even then there's still that obstacle that I find almost no one interesting *and* attractive enough to approach for a relationship. The burden lies with me.

I wish you well. If you figure it out, please let us know. I'm almost embarrassed to be this age and have absolutely no "game". It's been a few years since I last attempted dating.

It's not really LGBT-specific but more to do with feeling totally out of my depth in dating despite the fact that I was married for 27 years ... or maybe that should be *because* I was married for 27 years. I never managed dating back then and getting married was just a accident which luckily turned out well. I feel totally stupid being 59, divorced and never having dated in my entire life.

i dated a transgendered person. i have always been fascinated by people who don't fit into boxes too easily. also, the offensive remark was removed.

Thank you