Here's the short scenario:
Attractive co-worker & friend - who I'd like to be 'more than friends' - buys provocative lingerie and goes on a bank holiday weekend at a city hotel (Well she's told other colleagues which hotel it is) with boyfriend & repeatedly keeps talking about those garments she bought. I feel guilty for being insanely jealous when I know this is my fault.
Why is this my fault? Because I blew two chances with the girl.
Firstly, when she first joined - her relationship & mood wasn't healthy - they weren't even talking to each other! - but instead of just going in for her number, I thought it'd be better if she got happier by ending the relationship on speaking terms. Instead they hooked back up together as if nothing happened.
Second, he recently dumped her due to lack of time together. Should of gone in for the kill. But as much as she denied that she wanted him back - I knew she does love him and did want him back - she swiftly went on this charm offensive to win him back, and succeeded.
I don't know if it's the anger at myself for blowing these two chances or the fact that I know exactly what she'll be wearing for this guy I don't think deserves her (despite how long this relationship has dragged out for) that's making me jealous. I'm angry at even being jealous, because I shouldn't be...it's negative and unhealthy, but I do have some strong feelings for her as we've become close friends out of work.
I don't know, should I feel jealous when I've made no attempt to date this girl despite being completely smitten over her, or should I take the hit - again - and walk away?
04 May 2012, 7:19 pm
