Was anyone able to date a girl of normal weight

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First of all I am not shallow. To me intelligence matters a lot more than weight. But this does not change the following logical fact: since to guys OTHER THAN ME weight matters, the girls with normal weight have more competition than overweight ones; therefore, one's ability to get the girl of normal weight is a good measure of one's value.

This being said, most of the girls I dated were overweight. The only girl with normal weight was Anne back in 2005 but then I blew it before I ever started dating her. Everyone other htan her were overweight. Anita and Erin was around 170-180 lbl, Sarah and Andrea was 225 lbl, Jennifer was 270 lbl and Jax is 300 lbl.

Apart from that, the only two girls who were pure white were Sarah (Swedish) and Anne (German). Other than those two, everyone had a bit of admixtures: Andrea (1/16 Native, 15/16 White), Anita (1/8 Native, 7/8 White), Erin (1/4 Native, 3/4 White), Jennifer (Mother= German, Father is not sure -- probably combination of white, possibly Indian, and possibly Jewish), and Jax (1/2 French, 1/4 Polish, 1/4 Mexican).

Now this raises the following question: do other aspies get to date someone ''average''. I am not talking about supermodel. I am just speaking of ''normal'' weight (as in, below 160 lbl) and without non-white admixtures? Once again, I am not shallow. I just feel like this kind of thing is a good measure of how competitive you are. I know many of you are successful in dating girls. But what kind of shapes do they come in?

I've dated both fat and normal weight girls. The former isn't easier, as she typically lives with the delusion that she's not fat—she's curvy or she firmly believes that photographs with MySpace angles and Photoshop filters (and not normal pictures) is how she really looks.

Unattractive girls in denial aren't less picky than attractive girls.

I'm not sure what race has to do with anything I hope I've just misunderstood your post (that's highly probable I can be a bit thick) because it looks as if you are suggesting that white girls are somehow more prized than mixed race girls, in the same way slim girls are over bigger girls. I hope that's not what you mean.

+1

This is one of the most disturbing threads I've seen around here. I really hope you'll come back and clarify, and it will be something other than it seems. Because it read a lot like the "I'm not sexist / racist, but..." statements of those who most definitely are. Even if that isn't a fair description of your intent, you need to know that, because you can do a lot of damage to yourself sounding like that.

Edited to add: And, sorry, but I refused to answer the poll. It isn't that simple in any case, and unless I were convinced there were a very good reason, I'd just rather not go there.

They're all equally not attracted to me. Those who are overweight usually avoid me at all times; those who are not overweight usually only talk to me if they feel like insulting me, and back off if I respond. If ethnicity matters to the person who devised this poll, it should be discussed just as much as weight, and people should accept that some types of women (and men) are generally valued more than others in dating.

If you look at statistics on whom ppl date you will find that overwhelming majority of people are judgmental. It might not be the specific things I mentioned, but it would be something equally shallow. The difference between me and others is that others know not to mention this. But this only means I am more honest, not more judgemental.

Now I am not saying that being judgemental is good. I am simply pointing out that these other people ''can'' do that while I ''can not''. I mean, as a Christian, I don't believe in sex before marriage. But still I would rather it be MY OWN decision not to have sex as opposed to a limitation imposed by society. Similarly, if I were to believe ''weight doesn't matter'' thats fine but I would like it to be MY OWN decision too. In other words, why can't I be presented with skinny girl and overweight girl both willing to date me and then *I* can be the one saying ''you know what, weight doesn't matter, so I will pick overweight girl because I like her better due to A, B, and C''; but no thats not it; the reality is that I simpy do'nt have access to skinny girls. And THAT is what bothers me as it indicates my low status.

Actually, it is not too clear one way or the other.

Suppose attractive girls have X number of guys interested in them, while unattractive girls have Y. Now, the unattractive girl would KNOW there are Y guys interested in her; her denial won't make her hallucinate it is X. The only thing denial can do is to make her think that attractive girls also get Y guys while in fact they get X. Now, the knowledge of how many guys OTHER GIRLS have is not relevent to the selectiveness of the overweight girl in question. She sstill has to select 1 guy out of Y, REGARDLESS of what X is. So even if she falsely believes X=Y whie in reality X>Y, she would still be less selective because of smallness of Y.

The only reason for her not to be less selective is if she knows that X is greater than Y and she believes that she was simply ''unlucky'' to only get Y number of guys; so she anticipates that tomorrow she would get X of them and so she is selective accordingly. Now of course this is possible. But that would require a lot more self deception than simply distorting one's image in the mirror. I mean if year after year she gets Y number of guys then pure logic would make her expect to continue to have Y of them. Even if she falsely believes she looks good, there should be SOMETHING that makes the number of guys Y rather than pure coincidence so it owuld be highly illogical of her to expect them to raise to X for no apparent reason.

A lot of ugly girls think they're attractive because there's always someone hitting on them at a night club or a bar, or because their inbox at a dating site is always flooded with messages because she can still look cute in a MySpace angled picture with Photoshop filters.

They typically fail to realize that pictures in neutral lightning from a normal angle without Photoshop filters is how they ACTUALLY are perceived by other people, that there are men who have to settle for less attractive women or that some insecure, inexperienced, but attractive men are interested in a practice girl.

What about thin girls? I guess we're so bad we're not even included

I guess we are deemed the least desirable by society according to studies. I'm trying to debate if it's just because skinnier girls look ill, or if it's because of other reasons. I know men tend to prefer the weight of their mom. Not many people are naturally skinny, especially in America. Skinny girls stand out like a sore thumb, but I feel like in countries with different diets they're more common.

Actually I was assuming the opposite -- thin girls probably are top priority to most guys. I guess I didn't ask this because that would have shifted the jist of the poll. I mean what I am trying to ask is ''can an aspie make it to average'' as opposed to ''can an aspie be a world champion''.

Now if you ask me my own personal preference, to me the difference between skinny and average is a lot less than the difference between either of the two and overweight. But that is probably because the kind of overweight i am thinking of is 200-300 lbl.

In general to me intelligence matters a lot more than looks. So if I were to be dealing within the range of 100 lbl -- 160 lbl, I probably won't even pay attntion to weight and think about other factors. Its when I am dating 300 lbl, thats when I naturally begin to wonder.

Okay, that's good! There's nothing I can do to change my weight. I'm 115, and am two pounds underweight for my height. Even though it's not much, I feel like it is when I shop for clothes. Anyways, when I gained ten pounds, some people thought it was awesome that I was normal, while others said I was fat. It was sad that I only gained ten pounds and people though I was fat and it was even sadder when they told me what they thought. I can't imagine how overweight people feel.

Correction: I ate a lot more carbs due to living in a different country. I guess there is a way to gain weight, but there isn't in the current country I live in. The food here is simply different than there.

Two pounds underweight is no big deal and neither is ten pounds overweight. You really shouldn't care what other people think; haters gonna hate.

The issue isn't with what girls are "available"
The issue is being obsessed with some measure of "status" and defining your worth based on what/who you can stick your penis in.

Maybe those girls you think are unattractive are found attractive by other people, or maybe they have an idea of self worth that isn't based on what you think of their physical appearance, just because they're not suitably grateful for your attention doesn't mean they are delusional.

Also so what if a girl is picky? Aren't personal standards and selectivness defended religiously here?

I think Ria1989 was talking about super skinny (no boobs, fairly hipless), please correct me if I'm wrong
those girls also get a lot of messages that their bodies aren't attractive or aren't sexy enough.
which is bull

Dating isn't fair, the world doesn't owe you a choice.
Why aren't I presented with a British man and a southern man who both want to date me? why don't I get to make the choice if i want the guy with the more desirable accent? Is that unfair? Are men as a whole being unfair to me if I'm not presented with a suitable variety?

Why don't you try going after people for who they are instead of what they represent sociologically.

Last edited by DogsWithoutHorses on 26 May 2012, 5:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I think a lot of it is metabolic rate. In my case I am stable 140 lbl and I wouldn't be able to change it in either direction. Even if I eat a lot I won't gain weight, and even if I eat very little I won't lose weight.

I guess in most cases being skinny is supposed to be a good thing. But in my case a large part of it is the fact that I don't have muscles so thats what some ppl look down on. Now if I look at someone I can't simply say ''oh this guy is muscular and this one is not'' unless they actually show their muscles or something. But I guess NT-s can tell a lot more than I do since everyone somehow KNOWS I am not muscular and they are right. Now I am not sure just how do they know. I mean there are other skinny ppl who are viewed as strong. So maybe its the way I carry myself. I don't know. But either way I am not entirely happy with my appearance simply from the fact that it leads ppl to view me a certain way, although I am not sure what it is that makes them view me this way; but they happened to be right in their opinion, i just wish i knew what it was so that at least i could hide it if i wanted to but apparently i can't.

give me strength

That's what most men do. As far as the sociological stuff goes: Do you really think that the smooth, yet unmasculine pretty boy who has a new f@ckfriend every weekend would be perceived as attractive if he didn't represent some standard designated by MTV, Twillight, reality shows and TV soaps?