What do the rest of us do?

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Basically, whenever anyone wants to give advice on how to meet people it's the same things over and over: "Go out and meet people", " Join Classes ", " Join Clubs ", " Volunteer", "Cafes", Etc.

What do those of us who live in places where NONE of that exists do?

The only Organization/Club/Group I can join is a church. Problem is, I'm not interested in religion.
The only Volunteer groups in my area, are religious groups. Again, Same problem.
There are no Cafes, there are no night clubs, there are no bars.
I live 15 miles, at minimum, from any of those things.

People in my town don't go to public parks to hang out, walk their dog, have picnics. They go to conduct drug deals and buy pills or meth. The only place to 'hang out' is Wal-Mart. There is no movie theatre, no roller rink, no bowling alley. The Community Theatre is filled with nothing but old people, putting on plays that only old people go to see.

To make matters worse, Borders had to go and close all their stores, removing one of the 2 places I would go and spend time in the next town over. I'd get dropped off when they opened, and get picked up hours and hours later. Book stores you can have conversation in, Libraries you cannot, but now I'm left with only one place to go.

I do go to classes, I get taken two days a week and dropped off at a community college which is a 35 minute drive each way. But the bulk of the people there are fresh out of high school and most of them don't want anything to do with me once they realize how old I am.

Please don't suggest "Move", I already know that would fix the problem, but the other side of the coin of living in a place like I live is, they tend to be place with rampant depression and no job prospects.. what jobs there are, aren't suitable for people with our sort of problems, so trying to save money to move to a place without gaurenteed work is difficult since it requires you to save a considerable amount of money to fall back on.

I'd really love to know the answer to this question. I don't really expect anyone to have it, however. It's simply luck of the draw, some of us got shafted and stuck in dumpy out of the way places, and it severely limits our potential to find work, find partners, find success in life.

Well, the cheaper suggestion than moving is get a car. Besides that, not much really, if you live in a "toxic" community, full of people you'd probably not want to be with anyway.

I tried that, and wasn't any good at it, I think I'm being responsible by not driving..

I am in the same situation. Hard to make friends in a place like that let alone potential bf/gf. I don't drive either.

You said in another thread that you have a very black and white attitude toward success. Did that apply to when you tried driving? Some things just take a lot of practice, and a willingness to do them badly for a while, before you get good at them.

It applies to everything. And yes, I realize thats the case, but practicing driving requires me to do it on public roads with other people.. I don't want the responsibility of that. It's too dangerous and I'm not interested in putting myself and others at risk.

Well if you get overloaded too much while driving, make sure to have some stimulants handy, and also don't have other people with you in the car as much as you possibly can. But, you gotta do it if you wanna be successful in this country. Otherwise your only answer is moving to a country with lots of public transport.

EDIT,
As far as the public roads thing, just taper it. Practice in parking lots for a long time, then inch yourself to less crowded streets, then more crowded streets, highways, etc. Just basically have to learn to taper things slowly to learn them.

Or get a good road bike, and become super strong biking 15-30 miles at a time, and then get super strong legs and then solve your romance problems by wearing shorts everywhere showing off your super strong legs and then have women proposition you to help them bear children. Erm...

Last edited by 1000Knives on 21 May 2012, 10:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Get on your knees and pray, cuz your dating life is in God's hands.

Yeah basically, I'm screwed, and I know it.


I'm never going to be able to learn how to Drive, because I don't try things a second time when they are safe, but cars kill more people in the US every year than guns do.

Guns and cars are both totally sweet, though. Besides, we're all gonna die sometime.

If you don't try things a second time, I wonder how you've lived all the years of your life. Generally everyone is bad at things their first time. So you either have extremely awesome luck to be so good at so many things the first time, or you just kept trying.

Also, try practicing late at night when the roads are empty. If you see someone else's headlights just pull over and wait for them to pass. That's how I got comfortable at it. Or not, if you really don't want to. But, given your description of where you live, I think it would be very helpful.

You're screwing yourself. It's that unwillingness to keep trying.

Do you know why you're so unwilling to try things a second time?

No, it just means I focus on the few things I'm really good at and never do the things I'm not.

I don't know, most things I'm good at, I tried at first and sucked at, then I just kept trying and got better. I mean there's a point in emphasizing things you're better at sometimes, but your attitude will take you nowhere fast.

Online dating agencies?

How intense is the religiosity of the local church groups? A lot of the things near me, I don't think they mind much whether you believe the supernatural stuff or not, as long as you don't shout it too loud. And I suspect that quite a few of their people aren't really there for the religion, quite possibly there are some closet agnostics and atheists in the bunch. My problem would be that my Aspie bluntness would keep offending them.

It isn't a pleasant predicament we find ourselves in is it? Honestly I would never raise a child in a rural area.. you are almost guaranteeing them no future by doing so. The schools are crap, the people are all religious nuts, there is nothing for them to do except play video games and go to school.. Ugh.



No, I'm sorry, but my refusal to drive is saving lives. Mine, or some one elses. I tried driving once, I killed a mailbox before I made it out of the driveway, so I got out and went back inside. End of. I'm not going to "Practice" something on a public road filled with people, where I could hurt some one.



I've had no luck at all with Online dating.

And well, I don't live in Mississippi, but all the local religious groups are Evangelical, Pentecostal or something equally severe. The closest Unitarian church is 20miles away.