How to talk to Asian girls?

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07 Jan 2013, 5:41 pm

If Japan doesn't work out, or even if it does, I would recommend at least treating yourself to a side trip in Thailand

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=STCpKDAmKSs[/youtube]

Cafeaulait
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11 Jan 2013, 4:33 pm

How is it hard to approach Asian girls? Especially if you are a white guy.

Most Asian girls are so easy when it comes to white guys. They love them. Some of them see white guys as a trophy.

This should be no problem at all.

1000Knives
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11 Jan 2013, 4:41 pm

Cafeaulait wrote:

As I said, the issue wasn't that they were Asian so much that they're in a different socioeconmic class than I.

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11 Jan 2013, 5:23 pm

1000Knives wrote:

Cafeaulait wrote:

As I said, the issue wasn't that they were Asian so much that they're in a different socioeconmic class than I.

Define 'different socioeconomic class'.

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11 Jan 2013, 5:44 pm

Cafeaulait wrote:

1000Knives wrote:

Cafeaulait wrote:

As I said, the issue wasn't that they were Asian so much that they're in a different socioeconmic class than I.

Define 'different socioeconomic class'.

I said it a few pages back.

I drove a 1984 Toyota Celica Supra with rust holes and fading paint, her boyfriend drove 2003 Lancer Ralliart. Other girls, for example, had fathers driving new BMW 5 and 7 series. All wore new preppy clothes.

So, the problem wasn't so much Asian introversion or something like I thought, but just socioeconomics. I get the same response from "preppy" white girls. But among Asians in general here, they tend to place lots of effort on "class" and material success, it's mostly the reason they come to America, to make more money. In my state for example, there's almost no Japanese people, but there is a Japanese elementary school in Fairfield county for the Japanese that live in my state and commute to NY. It's a rich snobby state, and it carries over to the Asian community here, too.

I might even have better luck in CA or down south if I wanted an Asian girl or girl in general. Like my Asian market here will barely let you go for a penny, and it took years of me going there for the employees to even ask about my personal life or in general be anything but cold and distant toward me. I walk into a Korean market in Florida and the cashier talked with me and gave me a free little drink to try. In my state, at the poorer Vietnamese market (ran by Hmong) in the more "hood" part of town, the people again, were much more friendly to me, I'd have conversations with the guy I knew there for long times about anime and whatever, he even invited me to go with him on a trip to Chinatown.

So I thought it was just some weird cultural thing I was doing wrong, but nah, it's socioeconomic.

1000Knives
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11 Jan 2013, 5:46 pm

1000Knives wrote:

Cafeaulait wrote:

1000Knives wrote:

Cafeaulait wrote:

As I said, the issue wasn't that they were Asian so much that they're in a different socioeconmic class than I.

Define 'different socioeconomic class'.

I said it a few pages back.

I drove a 1984 Toyota Celica Supra with rust holes and fading paint, her boyfriend drove 2003 Lancer Ralliart. Other girls, for example, had fathers driving new BMW 5 and 7 series. All wore new preppy clothes.

So, the problem wasn't so much Asian introversion or something like I thought, but just socioeconomics. I get the same response from "preppy" white girls. But among Asians in general here, they tend to place lots of effort on "class" and material success, it's mostly the reason they come to America, to make more money. In my state for example, there's almost no Japanese people, but there is a Japanese elementary school in Fairfield county for the Japanese that live in my state and commute to NY. It's a rich snobby state, and it carries over to the Asian community here, too.

I might even have better luck in CA or down south if I wanted an Asian girl or girl in general. Like my Asian market here will barely let you go for a penny short, and it took years of me going there for the employees to even ask about my personal life or in general be anything but cold and distant toward me. I walk into a Korean market in Florida and the cashier talked with me and gave me a free little drink to try. In my state, at the poorer Vietnamese market (ran by Hmong) in the more "hood" part of town, the people again, were much more friendly to me, I'd have conversations with the guy I knew there for long times about anime and whatever, he even invited me to go with him on a trip to Chinatown, and when he was cooking steaks, gave me a free one off the grill.

So I thought it was just some weird cultural thing I was doing wrong, but nah, it's socioeconomic.

Stalk
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11 Jan 2013, 5:48 pm

that video is just sad

ArrantPariah
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11 Jan 2013, 7:04 pm

Stalk wrote:

that video is just sad

daikoncattish
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13 Jan 2013, 9:31 pm

Hi, Asian woman here checking in. I haven't read all of the replies to this thread yet, so forgive me if I'm repeating something that's already been said, but here goes...

I am so tired of guys trying to come onto me by saying something in any Asian language. I don't know how to say anything, so your words are absolutely wasted on me. If you want to speak Chinese, talk to my boyfriend, the white guy that actually studies that. I get tired of people trying to guess where I'm from as a pick up line or icebreaker. But no matter how tired of it I am, I am expected to be polite because otherwise I'm a "b***h" or "too sensitive."

Maybe the people that have asked me questions like this have great intentions, but this kind of interaction can really wear you down. You can look at it like this. I know that there are a lot of people out there that don't care one bit about who I really am because they've seen that I'm Asian, so they assume they can fill in the blanks. When you're different on the outside, in that way that people can see, sometimes you become a magnet for nosy strangers. And that's exactly what you are until you get to know me: a stranger.

Maybe those with AS can relate. Have you ever had someone you don't know very well rudely ask you, "Do you have Asperger's or something?" Maybe most of you don't care, I don't know, I could be totally wrong, but I have to imagine that sometimes you just want to yell back, "It's none of your business!" Or if someone says, "So you're like Sheldon on Big Bang..." (good grief, I don't even watch the show, but I've seen this example used so many times that I understand he must be the poster boy or something), and you just feel annoyed because of the old "you've met one aspie" adage.

That being said, I can't be the ambassador for all Asian girls, and I certainly can't speak for them. But for those that relate to my experience, we would love to be your friend, just as long as you actually see us as real live people first.

Talk to people as people first. Maybe one day they can share with you what it's like to be "Asian people" but let them make the first move. Getting to know someone (anyone!) is like going to a birthday party. People will give you a funny look if you show up without being invited.

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14 Jan 2013, 9:07 am

Let them come to you? It might not always work for everyone but it sure seems to work for me.

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14 Jan 2013, 11:20 am

AspieOtaku wrote:

Let them come to you?

It might not always work for everyone but it sure seems to work for me.

Are you an Asian-chick magnet? To what do you attribute your powers?

1000Knives
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14 Jan 2013, 1:25 pm

daikoncattish wrote:

I dunno. I think it's sort of different culturally. I've had Indian neighbors invite me to dinner at their house within like a couple minutes of me knowing them. And the "ice breaker" was simply me asking them if I could borrow some basmati rice, and they made Indian food for me and taught me stuff. Now that I've been going to that Asian market for years, the people there are friendlier, but not as friendly as, say, the Indian markets. Like from a single conversation waiting in line at the Indian restaurant, this guy taught me how to make a tandoor oven and convinced the restaurant owner to show me their tandoor oven. It seems the Asians are less eager to share their culture in ways like that, not always (as I gave other examples) but yeah.

In my case, my AS problems tend to be "outgoing but odd" and my natural mode isn't really introverted, so I've got really no problems anxietywise walking up and talking to a stranger, just I'm still socially awkward while being outgoing.

Also, you like daikon? That stuff's supposed to be good for you, but I've not figured out a successful way to cook it besides grating it like cheese and eating it raw. Heh.

AspieOtaku
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14 Jan 2013, 8:38 pm

ArrantPariah wrote:

AspieOtaku wrote:

Let them come to you?

It might not always work for everyone but it sure seems to work for me.

Are you an Asian-chick magnet? To what do you attribute your powers?

Nothing too much really Im usually oblivious to my suroundings and act very friendly and talkative at times when approached and having a couple sake bombs. I think that kinda works with most women in general anywho I dont really necessarily think they have a Caucasian fetish but more so that that guy is a nice guy to talk to.
i do notice though that most guys dating Asian women and happily together very aspie like so maybe perhaps its the personaility? Sometimes being able to communicate with the elders works as well, lots of Chinese grandmas try to be matchmaker at times I do speak mandarin rather well I just wish I wasnt always so busy and too busy to have a relationship at this time. A lot of the single Asian girls arent pretty or just average by Asian male standards they are usually the cute *in my eyes* nerdy ones with glasses. The language method usually only work with people who have arrived not so long ago though or are first generation born.After a few generations though they may get annoyed or offended though so be careful its basicly no different than talking to a white girl at that point. A good trick is listen to the conversation *im able to tell the differences between the languages by the tones* If they are speaking in the language you know how to speak then feel free to go for it your safe if you dont just stick with English otherwise it will be a non stop guessing game and they will get sick and tired of it real fast. Just remember there are a few exceptions to the rules and not every Asian woman is the same they all have different thoughts and are their own people and also dont always expect to live up to their expected cultural upbringing because well this is the west.

daikoncattish
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15 Jan 2013, 12:10 am

@1000Knives
I'm willing to bet you're a bit friendlier than I am to people.
I think you're right to point out the introverted factor, too. That definitely applies to me!

And I don't know how to do anything with daikon either, but I think they're neat. Honestly, I just needed to make up a username on the fly and this sort of happened!

1000Knives
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15 Jan 2013, 1:01 am

daikoncattish wrote:

@1000Knives
I'm willing to bet you're a bit friendlier than I am to people.

I think you're right to point out the introverted factor, too. That definitely applies to me!

And I don't know how to do anything with daikon either, but I think they're neat. Honestly, I just needed to make up a username on the fly and this sort of happened!

ArrantPariah
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15 Jan 2013, 12:04 pm

I had to look up "Daikon"

Something came to mind to do with it, but this isn't the "adults only" section.

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