Female how to find dates

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Hi.
Can you give me some advice on how to meet men?

I usually think that someone likes me and I "fall in love" (in a light way) and wait for that person to make advancements. But people do not advance, and I have to overcome it.
I mistake politeness for flirting.

When men whom I don't know make advancements I am frightened and I cannot react with yes if they invite me to go somewhere. Then after some time passes I may change my mind and I want to go out with them, but I do not know how to show them that I would like to go out.

I am also afraid that relationships will take too much time and that I won't be able to be alone and read, etc.
I do not know how to open up to people and I do not know how to react to questions about my personality, what I like and how I spend time and etc.
I am also afraid of meeting their friends and relatives, I'm afraid that I won't be able to make good impression and to make his relatives like me.

I don't have friends, just some acquaintances. I'm afraid that men would not like to meet a woman without friends.

But I think that I need to try to date.

Could you give me an advice how to find men with whom to date? Maybe there are other topics or some good articles?

I am from christian family so I do not want a "sex for one night" thing and I would prefer to date for some time and then I actually want a person to make some wows (promise to be with me) and only after that to live together, etc.
I guess that some people can just read when their partner wants serious relationships, but for me it is really a problem.

Don't worry about not having friends; many men don't care. If you're in college, there's probably student organizations you can join or you can try volunteering. There's also online dating.

Hi!
Thanks, but I'm working. It is hard for me to date at work as I'm afraid to complicate things with my colleagues.

I understand that. Have you considered online dating, though?

I tried it, a long time ago. I also had problems. I tried to discuss things upfront, such as conditions of our meeting, and most of the guys didn't agree with the rules
Still, I do not want to change the rules.

I also have problems with putting my photo on the Internet, as I'm afraid that some of my acquaintances will see it. I do not feel comfortable doing it.

Put a picture of yourself on WrongPlanet and you'll be fighting them off

Except for pictures what other advice can you give?
I would actually prefer to create relationships in real life and not on an Internet. I think then I will have more chances to check if he is a good person or not.
I just need some tips on how to communicate, how to make acquaintances in real life, how to talk, how to understand when men like me and to give correct signs to them.

I think the advice of interest groups already given would suit you best. It would given you common ground, an easy ice breaker, and you can always observe suitors to see if they are generally nice to others or behave in a way you'd like.

You could even be proactive and set up activities of your own for others to join in, something you are of course passionate about and not something contrived.

You could frequent a place in the daytime and see if there are other regulars there, too. Somewhere where being alone is quite acceptable, like a library, cafe, net cafe, book store with recreation area, a park, the gym, and here's a random one - the driving range for golf

I also think that I have problems understanding when men approach me.
And I think that I may give wrong replies to them.

For example, I understand that if a man asks me to go to see the movies, then he is interested.
I also understand when men ask me to take a walk together and such.

Otherwize, I don't understand. I think that maybe sometimes men talk to me and imply something and I answer in such a way that they think that I say no.

Does it make sense?

The male ego can be fragile. I think if you wanted to be friends first (so are saying no to the date but not the guy) then to change the subject into something you are comfortable talking with and see if they play along with that and build a friendship from there. If they don't and just ask you again then that's not really a good sign as they don't respect your boundaries.

If the guy is talking about something they like and you don't know anything about it just be honest and say you don't but always follow that up with something related you do like, or just something you like anyway.

Hmm... you sound young, and if you are, don't worry too much about dating, give it some time. Developing who you are as a person would do more to attract men, because people are drawn to those who are confident.

It also sounds as if you often don't make a move, or aren't receptive when a man makes a move on you. This can be a problem. Do you try to show that you are interested in him?

I am not young, I'm 32. Why do I sound young? Because of my inexperience in relationships?


Yes this is a problem. But how do I change it?
I do not know how to make a move. And even if I will make a move how can I understand his response?
And I truly do not understand if men hit on me or not.
I do not know how to show to a man that I'm interested. What should I say or do?

Thanks. This is helpful.

But then there was this one story. Long before I was conscious about my problems with communication I had one guy who was my friend. He was always somewhere around and we had long conversations on icq about anything. It lasted for like 6 or 7 years. He never told about any feelings openly. I thought he might have had them, but I didn't know how to ask. And then at some point he got mad and stopped communication. It was shortly after I told him about one crush I had and continued talking about that guy and my feelings towards him day after day.
So maybe he did have feelings for me. But why our relationship didn't move any further?

Well, that is not really something you can put down to your own fault.
You don't sound like you were as interested as he was? He was waiting for you to just open up to him and say you liked him.
If you see a lot of threads in Love & Dating, you'll probably find many have drawn the conclusion that this simply doesn't work esp. with Aspie women. So I wouldn't think about how this ICQ friend ties into the grand scheme of things.

Oh, sorry. I guess I thought you were young because you seem very afraid of doing the wrong thing. But you shouldn't have to be, it's okay to make mistakes.

Hmm... Have you tried looking up online about how to flirt, and how to recognize flirting? I know it sounds stupid, but that's how I would find out about that stuff.

To flirt with men, it's good to play to their ego. You can try compliments, asking him to lift something heavy for you, stuff like that. Showing that you are interested in him helps, like asking about his interests, and listening carefully. But it's also good to be playful too, to show you would be fun to hang around. So borderline dirty jokes works for me, maybe something else would work for you. I also tend to act very girly and stupid, like playing with my hair, laughing at his jokes, staring intently, averting my gaze as if I'm shy...

Men also have a lot of pressure because they are generally expected to ask the girl out. You can make things easier for him. If you are feeling bold, why not just ask him on a date? That also works if you think you gave out the wrong signals. You can also drop hints that you would want to go out with him, like talk about movies, then drop a hint that you'd like to go see one. Give him a reason to see you again. The more you guys see each other, the more opportunities he has to ask you out.

It seems strange. Why would I open up if I didn't know for sure that he likes me, if he never told me.
I would understand if he said that he likes me and then said that he's ready to wait for me to open up.