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Shau
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27 Jun 2012, 10:57 pm

As a preface, I would like to note that the problem I am about to describe is not a female-only phenomenon, it's a problem I generally have with most people.

Right, so lately I've been going about the bars and clubs (mostly bars, clubs are just awful), and I can often get a girl talking, but I always seem to run into one major fundamental problem: The people that seem to go to bars and clubs are generally not interested in the kind of comparatively esoteric things I am. Any time I try to bring the topic of conversation to more fascinating stuff like poetry, literature, hiking, nature, and science, they always get bored!

I've been gritting it with the "grin and bear it" method, but tbh I think I'm gonna have some major problems beyond the initial phases of grabbing a girl if I'm essentially forcing myself to talk about stuff that bores the hell out of me. This might work for the purpose of a quick fling (which I'm not opposed to, so long as both of us are eye to eye on that), but if I decide to start looking for a girlfriend, this could become a big (bigger...) problem.

Any advice? How the hell do I get interested in more common, everyday stuff? I can literally ramble on and on for hours about any topic of interest and am generally good at facilitating in-depth conversation, but casual, small talk is really really hard.


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Kinme
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27 Jun 2012, 11:08 pm

I can't even relate to them and I'm a woman, lol.



Monkeybuttorama
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27 Jun 2012, 11:23 pm

Kinme wrote:
I can't even relate to them and I'm a woman, lol.


Same.

I'm a huge nerd, and I can't even relate with GUYS at a bar :roll:

People who hang out in bars are typically interested in incredibly average stuff (media, sports, gossip, etc.)

If you enjoy poetry, literature, nature, etc., why not go to a local cafe, rather then a bar? Some of them have poetry nights, and if not, you are much more likely to find that type hanging out in a cafe then a bar


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DogsWithoutHorses
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27 Jun 2012, 11:27 pm

thread subject sounds lite the title of a nature documentary


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AScomposer13413
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27 Jun 2012, 11:28 pm

If you don't fit the "ideal man" for girls in a particular location, change where you meet them. I'd think you'd be a lot more successful trying your hand at dating in, say, a school or a university setting, since you wouldn't have to change who you are (temporarily or otherwise) to meet people.



Shau
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27 Jun 2012, 11:33 pm

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
thread subject sounds lite the title of a nature documentary


I'm the kind of guy who might actually script, write, and research that kind of stuff one day, actually. I guess I better start broadening my horizons, still I've seen certain bars where you'll often run into Uni girls, such as the classier, jazzy bars.


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Kinme
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27 Jun 2012, 11:39 pm

Shau wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
thread subject sounds lite the title of a nature documentary


I'm the kind of guy who might actually script, write, and research that kind of stuff one day, actually. I guess I better start broadening my horizons, still I've seen certain bars where you'll often run into Uni girls, such as the classier, jazzy bars.


She's said that because you said "female," by the way. Just letting you know in case you didn't figure it out already. Maybe "Relating to NT Women" would have been a little better.



Monkeybuttorama
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28 Jun 2012, 12:01 am

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
thread subject sounds lite the title of a nature documentary


hehe, Eye c wut u did thar!



Shau
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28 Jun 2012, 12:08 am

Kinme wrote:
She's said that because you said "female," by the way. Just letting you know in case you didn't figure it out already. Maybe "Relating to NT Women" would have been a little better.


Oh yes. I am aware. What you are observing are the results of having just written a million scientific reports and exam essays very recently. Exam season just finished here in New Zealand!


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Kinme
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28 Jun 2012, 12:24 am

Shau wrote:
Kinme wrote:
She's said that because you said "female," by the way. Just letting you know in case you didn't figure it out already. Maybe "Relating to NT Women" would have been a little better.


Oh yes. I am aware. What you are observing are the results of having just written a million scientific reports and exam essays very recently. Exam season just finished here in New Zealand!


:p



TM
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28 Jun 2012, 3:35 am

Why not find places where people with similar interests to yours frequent? I know the "bar and club" scene is the one depicted in popular culture for the most part, but you can get a lot more success by finding out where people with similar interests hang out.



PTSmorrow
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28 Jun 2012, 4:10 am

You won't find an interesting woman in a bar. Since you're not looking for a fling, the only way is via common interests and activities or a serious dating site.



Shatbat
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28 Jun 2012, 6:53 am

You know how everyone said bars are awful places to meet someone who is good for us? Ditto that.


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28 Jun 2012, 8:23 am

I wouldn't say it would be the best idea to try and change so you can relate to NT females.
The better option would be to find someone who has the same interest as you. They can be quite rare, but they're out there, somewhere. :wink:



thewhitrbbit
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28 Jun 2012, 8:40 am

Yeah, I doubt your going to meet many girls at a bar talking about Voltaire and hiking.

If you want to meet girls in bars, you gotta talk about situation appropriate material.



TM
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28 Jun 2012, 8:48 am

Tbh, just find 3 - 4 topics that interest most "bar-females", I dare say celebrity gossip, whatever is the "in-time" drama series (used to be Grey's anatomy), a mix of the top 5 current artists on pop charts and something as superficial as the preceding 3.