Punctuality - how important is it to you?

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thingsthatfly
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27 Jun 2012, 4:10 am

How important is it to you that people are on time (my NT wife in my case)? This also applies to other people who have aranged to meet me at a particular time though. i find myself becoming very anxious if someone is even five minutes late. I find myself clock watching prior to their ETA and becoming more and more worked up the later they are. Is this a typical trait amongst aspies?

(Oddly enough if i have aranged to go somewhere to meet someone and become distracted i can be hours late or just not show at all and it doesnt bother me!)



Monkeybuttorama
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27 Jun 2012, 4:14 am

Doesn't bother me in the least, because I am often late for non-crucial things. Meetings and appointments, I am *always* early by 15-60 minutes, meeting up with people, I am generally late by 1-45 minutes. As a result, I feel hypocritical if I hold it against other people, so I try to be understanding. I do make a point of telling people when I'll be late, and that is my only requirement. If a person doesn't tell me they will be significantly (more then 15 min) late, I get annoyed.



outofplace
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27 Jun 2012, 4:26 am

I find my response a bit odd. I hate it when others are early or late by any significant amount of time but I am rarely ever on time myself. I never mention it to others that I am irritated by their arrival time because I would hate to be seen as being hypocritical. However, that is my gut response. I also despise people showing up unannounced as I prefer to know what is going on beforehand so I can prepare accordingly.


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27 Jun 2012, 4:37 am

I consider it bad manners to be late (unless it is due to an unavoidable delay) so I strive to avoid being late and expect others to do the same. A friend of mine once said, in reply to a question about why he was always early 'Being late is unacceptable, being exactly on time is almost impossible, so being early is the only correct course of action'. I agree with that. If someone was consistently late I would find it very difficult to continue that friendship.



starryeyedvoyager
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27 Jun 2012, 4:45 am

To me, it is very important. It shows people that you respect them, what they do and their time management, that you show that you don't think your time is more valuable than theirs. It would be a deal breaker for me if I was dating if my date would be constantly late (not talking 5-10 minutes, but anything 30+ minutes), because it is unreliable. And if there is something I would value in someone I'd have potential romantic interest in, it would be reliability.



Ilka
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27 Jun 2012, 5:53 am

thingsthatfly wrote:
How important is it to you that people are on time (my NT wife in my case)? This also applies to other people who have aranged to meet me at a particular time though. i find myself becoming very anxious if someone is even five minutes late. I find myself clock watching prior to their ETA and becoming more and more worked up the later they are. Is this a typical trait amongst aspies?


This is quite funny. I am NT (or that I think, at least) married to an Aspie and mother of a 12 years-old Aspie girl. I was taught be on time is very important, so it is very important to me. They do not care about being on time, at all. They are always late. When our little one started school my husband and I used to have HUGE fights, on a daily basis, because my husband was unable to take her to school on time. After a couple of years I stopped fighting and accepted the fact that he will never be on time. It is hard for me, but I try to live with it. My 12 years-old have schedules in order to be ready on time each morning and each night, but I have to be constantly monitoring her or she doesnt complies with her schedules. Nothing works: writing the schedules, timer, rewards... You name it. I thought it was a trait, because I have read of others with the same problem.



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27 Jun 2012, 1:48 pm

So long as they are never early, I can roll with the punches.


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mds_02
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27 Jun 2012, 1:51 pm

I'm terrible at being punctual, so I find it very easy to forgive others for being late.


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27 Jun 2012, 2:39 pm

15 mins before/after is ok, but +-30 mins is not. When I go see other people, I call to give them a heads up if I am more than 2 mins late, and I am never ever more than 5 mins early.


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