A bit confused

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Hmm I've become kind of confused. I had a relationship that started I think in 2008 and ended in 2010. It took me a long time to get over my relationship but I finally got over it; now however after so long of not worrying about it I'm in pain again because of it... is my body just crying out for a new relationship now or something and is looking back to those times as the only way it knows to connect with a soulmate because I shared something with her?
I wish the pain would vanish once again but I feel overwhelmed.
I might look for a relationship again when social circles actually start to happen a bit.

have you recntly passed her birthday or an anniversary? what else is going on in your life?

Not enough is going on in my life really... I don't really have real life friends as such; I just sometimes try to rely on music practice and such... and meditation, but often times I find myself more or less not very able to do music work or meditate... or I forget because I'm so under stimulated and bored perhaps?
Left alone with just my thoughts for too long I'm very self destructive - it's just too powerful the things I feel and think sometimes. Intelligent coping strategies and goals can help... even sometimes to the extent of me working towards goals, but it's not very consistent.
So I guess I'm lonely and prone to depression... obviously that does not help matters.
Indeed I need much more going on in my life... it bothers me that I cannot really engage in things much often times - I want to make this change.

I exhaust a lot of energy on thoughts alone.

Structures (realistic ones), a touch of determination and clearly set goals help but sometimes it's not easy to be consistent and so easy it is especially when lonely and prone to depression to halt progress that bit longer than neccessary... at least.

Things aren't how I really want them to be... but that mindset in itself can be hard to ever satisfy, always wanting more etc.

I just sort of managed to re think myself into a state where I'm thinking about her again. It really bothers me.
Talking to her again after all this time would not be a good idea I am sure - it is wise to let go especially now.

I do think enough time has passed for me to start (or try to) another relationship somehow with someone though.

yup. i'd go for a new relationship if i were you.

^ I concur.

Maybe you can start playing at clubs, etc., again, and try meeting people that way--both male and female. At the very least, you could meet others with similar interests and see where any kind of relationship (friend or more) may go.

PM me if you want to talk more. Take care.