Unsure if I can date or be confident again.

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Okay, I am not on here a lot but idk with women anymore I mean all I seem to have is bad luck like for example first my ex she was my first at twenty years old, she took my virginity, but yet pretty much would yell at me all the time, call me fat, ugly, stupid any name you can think of she probably called me it, and then dumped me for another guy, then I found out that she cheated on me with said guy during our relationship, I am still not over a lot of what happened I am over her, but what happened are there days where I want her back? Yes, but sadly I can not do anything about it.

Then, the second one I still like her basically miscommunication at its finest , ruined the friendship basically this girl I liked her for awhile I asked her out finally after at least three months of talking to her, but during the "date" turns out she did not consdire it such, and she had a boyfriend. why was this not explained to me when I asked? Okay most women well most the ones I know are good at least letting you now they are freaking taken, but damn wtf, then we have not talked since then, so unsure I need advice on how to be confident, and date again.

I have done the asking out in the past. I find it is up to the other person to tell me if it is a date or not. I prefer to feel like I am not on a date though since I find myself a little more nervous that way.
I am not so sure if it is a confidence thing in your case or if you just need to get out into a crowd and meet new people. I think your confidence may come out then if you can find something you enjoy doing around other people. The first girl was clearly a horrible human being anyway. Think of it that way and say to yourself "Man, I am glad she is out of my life, I would have been miserable with her." The second one, I don't know what to say other than at least you didn't get more emotionally invested in her.
I have problems moving on from people myself. I guess it's natural for me considering I don't often find a lady that I like, but when I do it seems that it was never meant to be anyway. Even worse was the last one I went for was extremely attractive., but our age gap (I am 26, she is 19), is what helped me sense that something was off about her after the last time I saw her (kissed me goodnight, went home with another man). I kind of sensed it too since I was able to read her body language and it was telling me she was into this other guy (playing with her hair, leaning in to him, etc). I could not read any other social cue. I eventually removed her from my contact lists including Facebook. I simply wanted to move on. Recently I found out from a friend who used to work with her that she was asking other guys out while she was dating this guy. Dodged a bullet big time and who knows how long it would have been for me to recover from something like that.

I bet that your first relationship really took a toll on your self esteem. Being called ugly and fat is verbally abusive, and it's really painful to hear from someone who "loves" you.

I've never been particularly lucky with dating--I've had relationships that didn't turn out so well. I got into a relationship with a man who turned out to be verbally and emotionally abusive (he didn't call me fat or ugly, but lazy and, virtually, a whore). And with him, I actually did gain weight which I haven't been able to lose yet--which frustrates me. However, I know I will lose it as I'm dead-set on that.

I've found new hope in learning about body language and flirting--as it never made sense to me before. Guys who I was interested in wouldn't be able to tell because I would completely clam up around them. And then, guys who I wasn't interested in would think I was interested, because I would be myself.

I think your most recent event--with the girl who was taken--is just one of those things. It's not like you knew. It's sad, but that happens some times. It doesn't mean that things won't be better next time, and you can always learn up on flirting and body language. Work on your self esteem too--because it's hard to gain confidence back after verbal abuse.

Yeah true, just idk where to begin on gaining my confidence back from the first one.

Confidence comes from within. No-one can help you feel confident (apart from professionals) except yourself.

If someone told you all your life that you're a giraffe, would you believe it? They pick on you and call you a giraffe all your life, but you're not. So why does it make it true if someone calls you fat or the sorts?

Just be confident with what you've got. Maybe go out and buy some new clothes that compliment your figure or something, get yourself a new hairstyle, do what suits you best

Don't worry, I feel the same way.

Thanks everyone, yeah my self esteem is pretty much non existent, and I try everything working out, and such to improve my confident it helps slightly but i am still at a real low self esteem level.

probably going to get this alot but you haven't found that one special girl that you actually want, why its called dating right?
honestly i'm in experienced with serious relationships because the only one i had ended up with me not actually liking the girl, like she was completely faithful and all just not what i was actually looking for, thats probably the very first time i've ever looked at myself with respect for what i actually wanted, thing is now i'm expecting to get a girl i actually want and it feels better because i'm not settling for a girl i don't want, don't care who she is if i don't like her then i don't like her, uhhh sorry for talking about myself a bit much just trying to help, just give a new girl a chance if you are interested in her