Being friends with a male Aspie?

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I was dating this Aspie guy for a brief period. He ended it because I had critized the fact that he would rather spend time with his friends than going on a date with me. (A girl never wants to be told by a guy that she comes second on his list of priorities!)

Anyway, we did go out once more after it was officially over and he said he wanted to see me again. Initially I said "no", but came back to my decision and told him I agreed with it. However, I haven't heard from him since. I would like to make sure he is ok and I would like to stay friends.

It's bugging me that he remains "friends" with me on social network sites, but doesn't text back or doesn't show any intention of seeing me in real life.

I also find it strange that he has many real life friends, although they do not seem to know much about him (some of them don't even know what he is studying!). These friends are all people from his hometown and he has known them all since he was 5.

Whenever he meets new people, he basically says the same things, brings up the same topics and it is always up to his conversation partner to keep the conversation going. His own input is limited to a selected array of topics.

Could it be that these people tolerate him in their circle just because they have known each other for so long? And also, how do I get him to talk to me again? I would like to show him that I care about him as a friend, but I don't know how.

"Being friends" may just be too hard for him. He may be unable to move you from the "romantic interest" category to the "friends" category. NTs are often capable of transitioning from one to the other. But it can be an unreasonable expectation to have for some NTs, so likewise, it may be an unreasonable expectation to have for your guy. I know it's so frustrating when communications shut down, especially when you simply want to share good news, or see if he's doing ok, or get some reassurance that the lines of communication are still open. But, that may just be how he is. I have no idea how to get him to talk to you again, other than just check in occasionally (if he hasn't told you not to). If he wants to respond, he will. If he doesn't want to, he wont. WHY, could be any of a zillion reasons.

I've been there - I wish I could offer more advice than that!

He's just not that into you...

Thank you so much! I appreciate it!

For me, it is a matter of care. I care about him a lot and I want to make sure he is doing ok. The sudden stop in communication was hard for me, because it happened so suddenly and I didn't see it coming at the time. There was no reason really other than that I came from a different country than him.

He has never mentioned that I shouldn't contact him anymore. However, I don't want to come across as a stalker. I haven't texted him anymore, but I would like to try to contact him over the social network site where we are still friends. I just don't know if it's a good idea or not.

As for the question whether he is into me or not: he has told me that he felt attracted to me. However, he became jealous every time someone tried to call me and he was worried I might still have a boyfriend in my own country (which wasn't the case, but he didn't seem to believe me). I think he gradually started to close down any feelings or attraction he might have felt. I could be wrong though.

I am trying hard to understand what is going on with him. Are there any Aspies here that can relate to this?

Direct but most probably true, time to move on and find someone who actually wants to spend time with you and values that you are making an effort.