Why did I just do this? ugh

Post Reply New Topic

I just got out of a relationship and am not really looking. But for some reason I was bored and got the bright idea to make an okcupid profile just to see "what's out there" and what reaction I would get.

Within half an hour about 8 local people messaged me wanting to talk :/ And to my shock and horror only one of them was actually a jerk!

Now they are all sending me messages and one of them is trying to have a chat with me.

I don't even know how to have a chat with someone who is talking to me for the express purpose of seeing if we're interested in each other. Both of my previous relationships evolved awkwardly out of friendships so I've never, ever done the whole pickup/dating/flirting thing. In fact I normally am frantic to disguise any feelings I might have for someone out of fear of rejection or just plain awkwardness so this is completely new territory for me. I should feel flattered that people are actually interested because I assumed no one would be, but I'm in too much terror to even care. Every red light is flashing "ALERT! DANGER! Script does not compute these parameters! Retreat immediately!" But I don't even know how to "retreat"...

I think I'm going to be sick Will someone please dig a hole for me to bury myself?

Just go for it and have fun It does not matter if some of them do not work out. Just remember to stay safe though!

Just chat online until you're comfortable enough with someone to actually meet... there's no rush!

Aw, that's great!

Have fun and just chat with them doesn't mean you have to date them. Enjoy!

Thanks everyone I think I managed to get through a decent chat without suffering a relapse of my incurable and possibly fatal foot-in-mouth disease. It's always so hard to tell though...

One thing to remember is that you can sign out of that site anytime an take a break without it being rude. You don't have to answer messages as soon as you get them. If they are like IM"s that pop up to have real time chat by typing, then you can type back something like "I have to run out to the store/parents house/work for a few, but I'd be interested in chatting with you when I get back, or possibly tomorrow". That's perfectly acceptable. If they are like PM's on here or like emails you just don't have to open them right then.

Don't feel like you have to rush. You are allowed to take all the time you want or need. Also if it is like IM's in real time chat, you can tell them that your computer is being slow tonight for some reason so it might be a minute before you answer them.

Talking online is great for people who get overwhelmed or nervous easy. I wish they had it back when I was young and single. It would have saved me a lot of tongue tied moments (which I got over and I'm probably the only one who remembers, so they aren't a big deal).

Good luck and let us know how it goes please!

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

I have a profile and have sent messages and haven't gotten many encouraging replies-just replies saying I will find someone eventually and don't give up

Just try to be positive about the scenario but make sure the person you are meeting is safe, arrange to meet them in a public place as they may only be trying to get in your panties.