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Weiss_Yohji
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10 Jul 2012, 2:08 am

Who easily confuses infatuation with love?

On top of that, I've also got an addictive personality and am afraid I might say or do the wrong thing, which makes me all the more scared to get involved with anyone.



Wolfheart
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10 Jul 2012, 3:42 am

I've always wondered the difference between the two, perhaps infatuation is more physical or superficially whereas love is more based on sharing good synergy and a connection with each other and having a mutual understanding.



Aharon
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10 Jul 2012, 4:28 am

I believe it's always infatuation at first. I think love is more of an action than a feeling, like the beatitudes.


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DogsWithoutHorses
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10 Jul 2012, 4:48 am

I can emphatically tell you that you are not the only one.


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10 Jul 2012, 6:39 am

Huh... from what I know infatuation involves more dopamine, while love involves more oxytocine. I'll go with what Wolfheart said. Plus trust, I believe mutual trust is an important part of love.

And infatuation has similar brain mechanisms as addictions, so... there :D. And if you're afraid of saying the wrong thing, so never go on dates, then you'll never learn to say the right thing. Some practice is always good.


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Kurgan
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10 Jul 2012, 7:01 am

Weiss_Yohji wrote:
Who easily confuses infatuation with love?

On top of that, I've also got an addictive personality and am afraid I might say or do the wrong thing, which makes me all the more scared to get involved with anyone.


I wish I knew the difference.



AScomposer13413
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10 Jul 2012, 10:00 am

Nope, you're not alone. The feelings for both can be easily confused, and personally I find it hard to tell the difference, especially when you're the one having them.


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Weiss_Yohji
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10 Jul 2012, 1:22 pm

I had chatted up this one girl while at work (I went to school with her and there were two other old friends with her at the time). Gave her my digits but haven't gotten any texts/calls from her since. But I haven't been able to get her out of my head since.



OliverFrampton
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10 Jul 2012, 5:29 pm

Definitely not the only one, I reckon a lot of aspies are like that. I definitely am! :lol: I get very paranoid about saying the wrong thing, whether I talk to much or too little, etc etc, and I tend to think I am falling in love when really I am just developing a crush. :oops:



minotaurheadcheese
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10 Jul 2012, 5:36 pm

AJCoyne wrote:
Definitely not the only one, I reckon a lot of aspies are like that. I definitely am! :lol: I get very paranoid about saying the wrong thing, whether I talk to much or too little, etc etc, and I tend to think I am falling in love when really I am just developing a crush. :oops:


Agree.

Intellectually, I know from experience that love can develop out of infatuation but that it rarely does, but that doesn't stop me feeling confused :lol: Having a major crush on someone still feels like having the world turned upside down, but thankfully I'm mature and self-controlled enough now to avoid acting like a complete idiot and wandering around with my eyes falling out of my skull like I did when I was an adolescent. Well, most of the time :roll:


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nick007
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10 Jul 2012, 7:02 pm

I can tell the difference because I felt both before for a couple different women. I understand how others get them confused because there can be alot of overlap & one type of feelings can gradually cause the other to develop. I'll try to explain the difference~ Infatuation is being attracted to the person & love is really caring about the person.


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aspiemike
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10 Jul 2012, 7:13 pm

You are definitely not the only one. As already stated by another user the dopamine is in fact affected by the infatuation level and is also the reward seeking hormone, which explains the early stages of a relationship and the amount of sex involved. Compare that with serotonin (pleasure seeking hormone) and you understand why the early stages of a relationship can be exciting. I have read though that the infatuation level can be much higher in those with AS than in normal people. Oxytocin is the love hormone that is said to be less prevalent in AS people, but I have to call bull**** on that one.



Zinia
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10 Jul 2012, 7:44 pm

I agree that infatuation is often a step to love.

But you can be infatuated with someone without knowing them, whereas I don't think you can really romantically love someone without knowing them.

I used to confuse them, but don't anymore.

It's interesting to blame chemistry on infatuation. I like it. I get terrible infatuations. In fact, I have to come to grips with the fact that I've gotten infatuated with someone I work with--and I feel so crappy about it. One of the worst things about infatuations is that I can actually be charming and friendly without them--but the infatuation makes saying anything that isn't utterly weird, stupid, or embarrassing, impossible. At least that's how I feel.



thewhitrbbit
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10 Jul 2012, 10:57 pm

Happens to everyone.



rosemund
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11 Jul 2012, 1:49 pm

Zinia wrote:
It's interesting to blame chemistry on infatuation. I like it. I get terrible infatuations. In fact, I have to come to grips with the fact that I've gotten infatuated with someone I work with--and I feel so crappy about it. One of the worst things about infatuations is that I can actually be charming and friendly without them--but the infatuation makes saying anything that isn't utterly weird, stupid, or embarrassing, impossible. At least that's how I feel.


I see you're 29. At almost 36, I still have this problem. My friend asked me the other day if I had finally said hello to my crush. I had to tell her, and this was in front of a group of people (including someone that likes me), that I can never really talk to the people with whom I'm infatuated. My mind goes blank and/or I blunder horribly. I met my ex husband, because my bf liked his roommate, but I broke off our first date due to nerves. My 10 yr relationship only happened, because we were friends for ten months online before ever meeting in person. Now, I have the problem that I look younger than I am, so I end up with younger people interested in me. The current crush is 20, and often flocked by girls because he works at a club. No way I can say anything without feeling like a complete weirdo, and the one that likes me is totally unsuitable due to his age. So I'd like to say we grow out of it, but I don't think we do.



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11 Jul 2012, 2:00 pm

in my opinion, i think the major difference is that infatuation is one-sided and love is shared (like Zinia said). i think a lot of the time we make arbitrary distinctions between the two, really.


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