Afraid of telling someone you have ASD

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SOULSHINE88
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09 Jul 2012, 6:34 pm

Hi again,
I have had ASD for quite sometime now well pretty much my whole entire life and its not easy for me to tell someone I start to crush on or like or spend time with that I have ASD, anyone have any advice? I also have an aquired brain injury as well and sometimes I tend to go overboard and excessively talk about my injury or my ASD problems etc..and I feel like I push people away rather its someone trying to be my friend or not...Your help is most apprecitated...Blessings!! !


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redrobin62
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09 Jul 2012, 6:46 pm

Here in Seattle you can pretty much walk around with a "I'm an aspie" t-shirt and people won't have a clue what you mean. That's been my observation anyway.



Aspertastic424
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09 Jul 2012, 7:31 pm

Id say just tell it to them if your close to them. Or if some misunderstanding related to ASD comes up better tell then. Just dont bring ASD out of nowhere and you should be good



Hector
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09 Jul 2012, 7:35 pm

If you've had a few successful dates with someone, and believe you are now entering a relationship with them, it's probably OK to gradually start telling them sensitive personal information about yourself. It is likely that in a long-term relationship, there may come a stage where it would be expected to share personal information, so you will have to tell anyway. Your best bet is after a few dates because before then, the other person might come to the wrong conclusions about what kind of person you are and how you behave. For instance, some people may be anecdotally aware of someone with AS who was difficult to get along with, and by default associate you with them. On the other hand, with people you know well, whatever it is about AS that makes you "strange" or "different" (e.g. a tendency to lecture at length) will likely already be recognised by them anyway - so your telling them after a getting-to-know-each-other period just gives them a label to connect to the symptoms, rather than any substantive new information.



aspiemike
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09 Jul 2012, 8:03 pm

One thing I have learned is this "Live by the sword, die by the sword." I have revealed that information too soon to some people and to no surprise whatsoever, these people walked away. I find it is now safe to assume that no one I meet will have any understanding or knowledge of what AS really is. I will also assume that just like me, NT's have a natural fear of what they do not understand or know. And going back to the quote, telling someone you don't know very well that you have AS is like telling them you live by a label some shrink gave you. They now have their reason to discriminate and treat you like you are not normal, or just run away because they will assume the worst.
Anyone here have Thautcast on their Facebook or Twitter accounts? Gives you an idea of how normal people look at us.



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10 Jul 2012, 3:59 am

I don't think you have to disclose information but at the same time, you shouldn't be ashamed or have to hide who you are, you will be more confident if you are who you are. In a sense, do what feels most comfortable for you and it's better to show someone how you are through letting them get to know you. Don't let them define or stereotype your personality and if they are stereotypical, they probably aren't worth your time to begin with.



AScomposer13413
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10 Jul 2012, 11:44 am

Wolfheart wrote:
I don't think you have to disclose information but at the same time, you shouldn't be ashamed or have to hide who you are, you will be more confident if you are who you are. In a sense, do what feels most comfortable for you and it's better to show someone how you are through letting them get to know you. Don't let them define or stereotype your personality and if they are stereotypical, they probably aren't worth your time to begin with.


^ This!



PastFixations
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10 Jul 2012, 1:34 pm

Not straight away but if you feel it's becoming serious them maybe... or if she asks about a few things you do then it's probably the best time to say.
Only disclose under these circumstances. Eventually you may have to say as it's being honest rather than letting the situation get out of hand.


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