Don't ya hate when this happens?

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Met a girl and went out on one date, back in mid April. I was smitten, but she wasn't, but we kept in touch (both are in similar lines of work so it's a professional thing). And would you know, the next guy she meets, they hit it off, and as of July they're engaged.

Go figure. Some people just KNOW I guess. My parents got engaged after 3 months of dating.

In my efforts to improve myself, and to try to get about better ways of thinking, I'm trying to avoid negative thoughts, but it sure is hard at times to wonder, "Why him and not me? What was I lacking?" Seemed like we had a lot in common, and I was sure smitten by the date. But she wanted something else I guess.

I'm happy for her. I just hope I'll find someone who feels about me the way I feel about her, and we'll have that same level of KNOWING. That and I hope I won't have to spend another ten or twenty years bloody looking.

I know where you are coming from. Even if it was for the best it still hurts your pride.
The only thing I can suggest is not to dwell on it and think about the prospect of meeting new and more exciting women.

Probably a "chemistry" thing... I've experienced it from both sides and it's real (if not tangible or easy to explain.)

The hardest part is moving on and not spending too much brain-time dwelling on it. Easy to say, harder to do.

Hang in there!

This reminds me of when I was looking for work. I had my heart set on two different places and was convinced they were perfect for me and I for them. When I was shot down I was absolutely devastated and constantly wondered "why? What did I do wrong?" I literally thought that was it for me. A few months later I landed a much better job and it turns out in retrospect after carefully researching both companies I would have HATED working for both of them because they are highly inflexible and authoritarian. It's the same with women: I may have been cruelly shot down by what appeared to be a "perfect" match but in reality that just means I'm available when the REALLY good match comes around, one who actually will take the time to get to know me.