Dilemma: Falling for a female friend...

Post Reply New Topic

Backstory:

1. We both used to have a crush on each other back in high school, at the same time nonetheless.

2. She was forced to drop-out of high school and move far away to live with relatives.

3. I sent a message revealing my feelings, nerves of steel and hoping for the best but expecting the worst.

4. To my surprise, she really did like me back in the past. I figured it out straight away even back then, but once I developed feelings back started to get the dreaded 'does she like me? Or is she just being friendly' thoughts.

5. She established she only sees me as a friend now and I had to get over her as my feelings resurfaced, we were talking for months.

5. She said she'd be in town again soon, and while she did come back, she completely forget to see me. She had other issues such as just finding a place to sleep each night and also had other people to catch-up with, also she hadn't been talking to me for a while so I didn't bother contacting her.

6. Turns out she didn't even realize she had messages from me because of her d*ck ex manipulation (she did spend time with him out of politeness but regrets it) probably not telling her she had messages on purpose.

The present:

We have since begun talking again.

We speak almost daily now and for several hours each time. I feel a strong connection to her developing. As someone who has suffered betrayal and such, she has proven a loyal friend and has managed to earn the amount of trust and connection that usually takes other friends a few years to develop. We have so much in common and I don't just mean that in the simple sense - we both have agreed it almost feels like we're opposite gender/alternate dimension versions of each other, lol.

My feelings are on-again, off-again unfortunately. I don't want to tell her because I genuinely don't want to 'ruin the friendship' and would rather wait for the right time, the right time being probably when I see her in real-life again rather than over text the last time.

Otherwise, I doubt she feels the same and I don't know what to do.

She has said though I'm her 'go-to guy' for deep and meaningful conversation, and that I'm easy to talk to.

I do secretly hope someday our connection will become so strong she'll develop feelings back, but would be satisfied if that never happens.

Otherwise, I do still feel quite frustrated, confused and depressed to be going through this.

She is the only female my age in my life right now I'm talking to regularly, but that doesn't mean I'd date just any girl my age who I'm friends with - obviously it means she's quite a suitable candidate.

She's the only person from high school who hasn't turned around and either betrayed me or just lost interest.

I want to move on and meet new girls my age but have no way of doing so and if you've seen my posts you'd know why (bad city, boring city lacking in clubs/groups, yadda, yadda).

The feeling is certainly not 'love' but definitely still in the overwhelming teen infatuation/crush stage, but you never know where things could go right now...

I kind know how you feel. I had friendships with women online who I crushed on but they considered me their go to guy to complain about their boyfriends, exes & how they cant find a good guy while they had no romantic interest in me. I know it sux but I think the best thing you can do now is just be her friend while trying to keep your feelings in check but let her know your lonely & are looking for a relationship & leave the ball in her court to decide when & if she wants to be with you.