Polygamy

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I'm curious about how many girls would consider a polygamous relationship. I kind of assumed that most of them wouldn't but I met a girl once who told me that she'd be willing to share a guy with another girl, so long as she was the first wife and got to boss around the second. She is a little unusual in a lot of ways and has told me that she can't/rarely feels jealousy.

If you're a girl then say yes or no and maybe explain a little.

I guess guys could answer this too but I'd assume that most of them would answer with a violent "NO!"

Maybe it would also be interesting to hear what gays, lesbians, and other orientations have to say.

Personally, I once had to share a girl and I felt very violent jealousy which I could barely control. I only ended up staying with her because I made myself sit down and think about it and I decided that the relationship was worth more to me than just whether I was the only one or not. She ended up leaving me shortly thereafter anyway. I've never once thought about a girl that I wasn't already involved with in a romantic way after I found out that she already had a boyfriend, so I don't think I could ever be tempted to consider entering a relationship where another guy was involved. I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with polyamorous/polygamist (or whatever it's called) relationships, I've just got strong ape desires that make it personally distasteful to me.

I'm presuming that what we are really discussing is polyamory - which is a romantic relationship with more than one person as opposed to polygamy which involves a marriage. Polygamy is often illegal in Western countries.

I wouldn't consider a polyamorous situation and my personal feeling is that a marriage should be between two committed people. I'm sure that many polygamous marriages can and do work, but it certainly would not be for me.

I've read quite broadly on polygamy in Islam, and there are lots of interesting debates about whether it should continue and within what parameters. The ideal set up for an Islamic polygamous marriage involved the wives having their own homes where they spend time with their husband. A scenario in which several wives live under one roof is not an ideal one, and I can only see that ending in tensions and ill feeling no matter how religiously committed the women involved were.

I don't know about polyamorous situations. I can deal with sharing physical intimacy (open relationship) but I'm not a fan of sharing emotional intimacy etc.
I am the girlfriend, the other people we just have sex with sometimes, if I felt like anything was going past that I'd get pretty upset.

As much as I enjoyed the show Big Love, I don't think I'd ever want that as my life.

I had many affairs with married women and always prefer this constellation over having a gf because it really doesn't bother me that they share their lives with husbands and family. You know, all these topics i'm not even remotely interested in, like their brats, in-laws, debts, and what to have for dinner. I wouldn't want a conventional relationship where anything and everything must be shared, and i can't stand living with a person, so yes, this is a perfect solution, even more so since i'm not jealous by nature.

It's personally distasteful to me too and I sure hope there aren't any females here who want a polyamorous relationship. If there are many (on WP or not) what are guys expected to do? Assault each other because they find they're in relationships with the same woman? Get accused of being sexual deviants because womern's polyamory freezes them out of having any relationships? It had BETTER not be a common thing.

It sounds nice to me but I'm not currently interested in any relationships at all. I think it would work best if everyone loves and has sex with everyone else, either in a gay same sex group or where everyone is bi in a mixed sex group.

To me it seems like there would be a lot more jealousy if you are pretty much competing with another person over a person in the middle.

Polyamory is just *wrong*.

{It's either "polyphilia" or "multiamory", but mixing root languages is just completely off!}

I thought polyphilia is that white powder you mix with water to fill cracks in walls?

Not for me. At all. I don't share. And I consider not being with other women a very small price to pay for ensuring that I get her all to myself.

Closest I've been to being in one was a f-buddies kind of situation where it was understood that we weren't in a relationship and were free to see whoever we liked. Even then the thought of her with someone else was intolerable and I broke that off pretty quickly.

I'll grant that the number of polyamorous or open relationships I've observed is only a tiny tiny fraction of them. But, every time I've known people in one, there was always at least one partner who only tolerated it because they thought it was the only way to keep the person. That is, they didn't want to be in one, but their self-esteem was low enough that they thought it was the best they could expect.

What about Polyandry where one woman has many husbands? I wouldnt mind living with many women like that but I think over time it would drive me nuts and I would want privacy once in a while especially if they were all on their cycle. The only way for that to work would be a big house and possibly all of them bi and liking each other as well as me so that way there is no jealousy.

Last edited by AspieOtaku on 19 Jul 2012, 2:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Thank you for the correction, it was the only word I could think of but I wasn't sure if it was right.

I recently read a book that put ahead the theory that humans originally evolved to be in polyamorous (sorry for mixing Greek and Latin mv ) relationships, so... there. I still don't know what to make out of it, but I've heard things like open marriages where there is a commitment between two people, but they are both allowed to have sexual partners outside the main relationship, can work. That's as far as I can go there; I still got a lot to live,

Oh, I was just joking. I think "polyamory" is the most well-known and most-accepted word, it just bugs me that they've mixed Greek and Latin roots to form this word...

Ah I see. You even put two smileys to show it was a joke and still I take it seriously! Now, what's the Latin word for 'moron' I wonder

Morus

That certainly sounds right