Advice on upcoming dating profile...

Page 1 of 6 [ 89 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6  Next

hvtitan08
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 26 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 371
Location: Virginia

31 Jul 2012, 6:05 pm

I'm about ready to get to putting up my dating profile on ChristianDatingForFree.com, and I'd like some tips on certain areas:

1. How should I greet the women that view my profile?
2. When is it appropriate to discuss, and how should I describe my diagnoses of Autism, Bipolar, ADHD, Dyscalculia, and Antisocial Personality Disorder?
3. When I describe my diagnoses, should I give a brief description, or no?
4. What kind of photos should I upload, and what photos should I avoid?

If there's anything else missing please let me know. 8)


_________________
Christina Jenniston Jameson
She/Her/Hers/Herself


thewhitrbbit
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 May 2012
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,124

31 Jul 2012, 10:09 pm

Do you really want to lead with your diagnosis? I don't think you should mention it at first.

As for pictures, I would say find pictures that show you smiling, having fun, being adventurous, include at least one full body shot.

I would avoid pictures of you with other girls, shirtless pictures, things like that.



Wolfheart
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,971
Location: Kent, England

31 Jul 2012, 10:50 pm

Dating on the internet is impersonal and more to do with presentation so don't be surprised if it takes some tweaking before you get it.

It's up to you if you disclose that you are on the spectrum or not but it's better to get to know someone before telling them as some people might not have an understanding of what it is.



thewhitrbbit
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 May 2012
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,124

31 Jul 2012, 11:55 pm

One of the problems I think a lot of AS people face is that we are good people on the inside, but you have to get to know us to see that, and a lot of girls aren't willing to invest the time to get to see the good person.

Lead with whats good about you, and introduce your weaknesses slowly. No one expects anyone to be perfect, but first impressions are paramount.



Wolfheart
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,971
Location: Kent, England

06 Aug 2012, 12:46 am

You need to stand out from the crowd and be able to grab their attention, internet dating is impersonal and based on initial impressions, you need your apply yourself. The average and the hot ones receive hundreds of messages, remember you need to be different. I recently signed up to OkCupid and I have been getting a good amount of responses, I think it's a case of just being able to stand out and be creative.

Image

The more responses you get, the more selective you can be and when you get these responses, you will find it is easy to overlook someone who doesn't stand out from the crowd because there are hundred other guys in her inbox that don't.



Wolfheart
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,971
Location: Kent, England

06 Aug 2012, 1:08 am

Here's one of the lines that grabs attention, I've got other lines but I can only share them in private.

Quote:
I'm the real gangster, the real deal, girl, I've got hoes....they are in my shed haha, you down girl?



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

06 Aug 2012, 1:11 am

Wolfheart wrote:
You need to stand out from the crowd and be able to grab their attention, internet dating is impersonal and based on initial impressions, you need your apply yourself. The average and the hot ones receive hundreds of messages, remember you need to be different. I recently signed up to OkCupid and I have been getting a good amount of responses, I think it's a case of just being able to stand out and be creative.





Or to be good-looking with good abs (and honestly I think that's why, not the creativity thing.)



Wolfheart
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,971
Location: Kent, England

06 Aug 2012, 1:23 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:
You need to stand out from the crowd and be able to grab their attention, internet dating is impersonal and based on initial impressions, you need your apply yourself. The average and the hot ones receive hundreds of messages, remember you need to be different. I recently signed up to OkCupid and I have been getting a good amount of responses, I think it's a case of just being able to stand out and be creative.





Or to be good-looking with good abs (and honestly I think that's why, not the creativity thing.)


Well I do have my abs shot up as suggested by your advice and it is a very good method but I still think you need to be witty to an extent or be able to make them laugh. I mean the initial attraction is the presentation but you need to express your personality as well.

I mean you are a witty guy but some guys don't know how to pull that off and they need to learn that through trial and error.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

06 Aug 2012, 5:28 am

Wolfheart wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:
You need to stand out from the crowd and be able to grab their attention, internet dating is impersonal and based on initial impressions, you need your apply yourself. The average and the hot ones receive hundreds of messages, remember you need to be different. I recently signed up to OkCupid and I have been getting a good amount of responses, I think it's a case of just being able to stand out and be creative.





Or to be good-looking with good abs (and honestly I think that's why, not the creativity thing.)


Well I do have my abs shot up as suggested by your advice and it is a very good method but I still think you need to be witty to an extent or be able to make them laugh. I mean the initial attraction is the presentation but you need to express your personality as well.

I mean you are a witty guy but some guys don't know how to pull that off and they need to learn that through trial and error.



Being witty is barely significant, when it comes to online dating, it's all about a good photo.

You're not really witty, you know ;p, sorry for being blunt.



blue_bean
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 10,617
Location: Behind the wheel

06 Aug 2012, 6:46 am

Wolfheart wrote:
Here's one of the lines that grabs attention, I've got other lines but I can only share them in private.

Quote:
I'm the real gangster, the real deal, girl, I've got hoes....they are in my shed haha, you down girl?


I'd click the back button if I saw that.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

06 Aug 2012, 7:00 am

blue_bean wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:
Here's one of the lines that grabs attention, I've got other lines but I can only share them in private.

Quote:
I'm the real gangster, the real deal, girl, I've got hoes....they are in my shed haha, you down girl?


I'd click the back button if I saw that.



That was my thought too, but since he's too hot then girls would tolerate such lines.

The more hot you are the more people are tolerant toward your s**t.



Wolfheart
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,971
Location: Kent, England

06 Aug 2012, 7:14 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
blue_bean wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:
Here's one of the lines that grabs attention, I've got other lines but I can only share them in private.

Quote:
I'm the real gangster, the real deal, girl, I've got hoes....they are in my shed haha, you down girl?


I'd click the back button if I saw that.



That was my thought too, but since he's too hot then girls would tolerate such lines.

The more hot you are the more people are tolerant toward your sh**.


I am quite serious on here but that line is clearly a joke but even if it is a silly joke, if a girl has a sense of humour, she will find it cute or it will make her giggle. If a girl likes you or is attracted to you, she's more likely to laugh at your jokes.

Another line, this is if she has big boobs "Holy gigantic jugs Batman! Don't get me wrong a girl with a sense of humour and wit is good too, but I can't motorboat a personality."



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

06 Aug 2012, 8:06 am

Wolfheart is the live proof that online dating's success for males is all about looks (with very few exceptions).



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

06 Aug 2012, 5:08 pm

Seriously, if a less-than-hollywood-looking guy said that starting line then he would most likely end up on the block list.

But again, in general, I found out that the way girls react toward a drop-gorgeous guy is totally different for how they would react toward an average/ugly guy, even if he behaves/said the same.

and people keep repeating the myth that females are not as visual as males, what a bs, why do you even think Kennedy won the elections? At times, they sound even more visual than males.



WalkingTheDog
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 31 Jul 2012
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 39
Location: Columbia, Mo

06 Aug 2012, 6:27 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Wolfheart is the live proof that online dating's success for males is all about looks (with very few exceptions).


Sorry Wolf but I gotta back up Boo here. You must be one hot potato. I think my own OKCupid profile is OK, but I'm average looking and get few visitors, and even fewer (well, zero) emails.

For the OP, I don't think you need to go into a great deal of depth about your diagnoses. If you do mention them, be brief. I wouldn't give the entire list. Start with Asperger's, and let the rest come out in conversation, hopefully over the course of several dates. Keep in mind that the more honest your profile, the less likely people are to respond. That's true not just of you, but everyone. Whether or not to be honest is a decision we all have to make. Personally, I am glad I have an honest profile, even if I get fewer replies as a result.

For your photo, have one head shot and one full body picture. If you are male, don't go bare-chested unless you're young and have a good upper body. If you are female, send me your bare-chested photo and I will evaluate it for you (just kidding).

Edit - one final thing: "How should I greet the women that view my profile?" Just in case it isn't clear, you don't need to acknowledge them if they look at your profile. Just email the ones that interest you.



bizboy1
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Mar 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 945
Location: California, USA

07 Aug 2012, 12:06 am

We got an Asperger's chick magnet here. lol


_________________
INTJ