Emotionally Burned Out

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I'm just really tired of being lonely. It's almost to the point that whenever I see a couple in public or pictures of my friends with a girlfriend, I just can't bare to look. I start feeling depressed and if I try to hid from it my mother comments on how I'm not "normal" meaning I don't have a friend that's a girl. My family thinks I'm a weirdo, I have anger issues, and I'll be that 40 year-old overweight kid that lives with his parents and is lonely forever (I'm not overweight, just the stereotype to give you an idea of what I mean).

Some of my friends are pairing off and now I'm spending less and less time with them and getting more lonely. Do you hate when a friend makes plans and then tells you that they are going somewhere with their girlfriend instead...yeah that's been happening to me recently.

I just don't know what to do anymore...I guess I'll never change with the attitude I have but I'm just simply not capable of talking with females in a way that I can start a relationship with anyone. Like a school, I can talk about classes, etc... but that's it. I can't get to the point of asking for numbers, or eating at the cafe together. The hell of school is about to start up again, when I have to deal with couples holding hands and kissing all throughout campus.

I don't know if I can deal with it anymore...I went to a county fair tonight...biggest mistake of my life, I can't even enjoy anything anymore without thinking about the fact that I don't even have 1 friend of the opposite sex that I can call or text, even if its a friend.

I'm just lost, I really don't know what I can ever do, it's been a couple years that I've talking about the same problem and I still don't know, despite excellent advice everyone gives on WP.

I want that feeling of companionship. Sure I have a good amount of friends, a bunch of really close friends, but everyone has their own life. I don't outside of those friends. This whole thing is just a burden, a proverbial monkey that is clinched to my back and I want it to end because I'm tired of putting effort and not getting results, heck not even a single moment that resembled a slight chance of finding someone.

Words from the wise?

Keep going out, with some friends is a +. You should know who they are, and inevitably you'll meet some new people through them

I know the feeling and have been lonely most of my life-I would like the answer too-I go to functions held by my adult support groups that I go to-it helps but not the cure but it does help and gives more opportunity to meet people and not be judged.

Worry not my friend, I am a NT male and am 18 - i've had one relationship my whole life, and that last about 3 weeks and in reality was a waste of time. Just keep doing what you can, and people will somehow find their way to you. Put it this way, i THINK (yes i stress think) I have found someone myself, and it's come to me through the most unlikely and unexpected means

I'm 29 and the feelings like you have recently struck me. I was able to snap out of that my thinking:

* Many 'coupled' people are actually miserable behind the smiles.
* Most of the women I meet would make my life worse, not better
* I have all the time in the world to do what I want. I learned at an early age when someone takes an interest in you it's usually not a good thing. I can get up at 1am and go grocery shopping and you can damn well bet I do it regularly.
* I was making myself miserable for what? To chase after a spoiled, rude, entitled woman? What's the point?

I do stuff alone and sure I'm in the minority but who gives a $#@$#? Most people won't think any worse of you and if you do who cares? They are jerks and you don't need them in your life! I would like a relationship, but I'm not going to blindly take one just to look normal (whatever that is).

I can totally relate to how you are feeling - it can be so painful to watch other people pairing off and feeling left out. Whenever I forced myself to be part of a group of friends, I would always be the one without a boyfriend - and now I just don't hang out with groups anymore.

The problem is that nothing that anyone can say will change the way that you feel - it's difficult not being able to get into relationships for various reasons. I managed to cope with it by simply reducing my exposure to couples and people in general, but I can't recommend that for everyone - I'm lucky enough to work from home and be independent, but not everyone can isolate themselves from it like I can. Not to mention the fact that at 30 I'll be going back to university in a foreign country - I know it will be even more painful because there will be loads of couples!

I don't know what the answer is, but I can tell you that despite the lack of relationships, life keeps moving on. Try to find things to keep you busy, but also try to think of a try new ways of meeting people. If you're lucky enough to live in a country where you can join support groups - do that, by all means. In fact, it might help to meet and chat to other Aspies - some will have relationships and some won't, and you can ask them candidly about it. Good luck - it's a tough road, but you can keep moving along it. From what I've seen, if you're willing to put in effort, you can get into relationships eventually.

I can relate exactly to what the OP is feeling, I've almost thought of starting a topic about it myself a couple times. I work at Costco, so I see A LOT of people walking around every day and it really does pain me and drain me inside seeing people my age walking around holding hands or with their kids. Not saying I'm rushing to get married and have a kid the second I'm with someone, I guess to put in my best terms that are in my head, I feel like everyone else I see is moving forward in life and I'm stuck behind only being able to observe things that I can't have right now and wonder if I ever will. I've gone on a few dates here and there that were usually one nighters, not as in sex, meaning we went out to dinner or whatever and it resulted in the first and last time I ever saw most of them again. Girls, atleast where I live are too shallow and don't wanna learn or have the patience to understand someone that may be "odd" like me thats high functioning autistic.

Sometimes I hear the line "quit trying to find someone and just wait for it to happen" I don't see any logic to that, I sat around and waited for 2 years and nothing happened before I tried dating sites and what not that seem to be a waste of my time. I don't drink so I seldom have a reason to go to a bar and my inconsistent work hours don't allow me to do a lot else. One of my uncles didn't meet and marry someone till he was in his mid 50's. I don't really wanna end up like that and not be able to physically do stuff by that age that I can do now. He also had a kid a couple years later, hes in his 60s now and his kid (my cousin) is in like 2nd grade now I think. Honestly if I was that old and still hadn't had a kid yet I don't think I would bother. Hes always worried that he may not be alive still to see her graduate high school and other things like see her get married and all that.

Thanks for your comments guys and yes I try to stay busy...but sometimes I got nothing and that's when it gets super lonely. You know when you have a Friday night off and you want to do something and no one can cause they already have plans or don't even answer. Then when I know its a girl it irks me even more. Not that I'm not happy for my friends but man it stinks to not have someone. The thing is I just want to work on befriending girls in a platonic way. Sure, I would like a relationship that is filled with passionate feelings towards each other, but I'm not rushing into that. I just want a friend...that's a girl.

If I talk to someone I like a lot (almost always about school) that is the toughest. It always almost ends awkwardly and I just disengage from the conversation. I remember 1 time I asked this girl if she was ready for the test we were about to take while we were waiting outside and after she gave me a response, I froze up and didn't know what to say so after like 5 seconds I excused myself to the bathroom and almost fainted as I had to wash my face which was burning up.

I know girls are human too but its so hard to do it and I just wish someone would save me so I can gain confidence and break through.