Do I go after her? Do I forget about her? Do I vent on WP?

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Long story short, a close friend of mine introduced me to a friend of hers with the intention of "setting us up," because she felt like we were right for each other. I'm usually not too concerned with this sort of thing, but something about her was different, and I took a liking to her. We have a lot of common interests, and we have very similar personalities, so I thought it would be simple. It wasn't. She doesn't see me as more than a friend.

Lately she has been hanging out with this guy. He's a friend of her friend's boyfriend. They seem to be getting along quite nicely. From what I understand, the NT people who see them interacting think they'll start going out sometime soon. I've tried analyzing this situation from every perspective, but it always comes back to this simple truth: She's better off with him.

My friends suggest that I don't give up so easily, because it seems to them we're perfect for each other. I'm not perfect for anyone, and for me to suggest that I would be is selfish. She can't ever lead a normal life with me playing such a prominent role in it. Nobody can. I've decided to distance myself from her. She has enough problems in her life without getting weird looks from everyone because she's hanging out with that eccentric, enigmatic, yet cynical and jaded guy who's always wearing a trench coat.

I've done some things in the past that I'm not proud of. Maybe this is my way of repenting. Let the other guy win. After all, he's NT. He'll be able to go to parties with her without experiencing sensory over-stimulation. He'll be able to connect with her emotionally in a way I would never be able to. I've tried to rationalize it that way, but it doesn't make my emotions go away. I can't make my emotions go away. I hate feeling. It was so much easier when I could pretend to be jaded and unfeeling around my friends. Cynicism was much easier. Hating everything is simple. It's when you actually start liking things that s**t gets complicated.

After all, I'm that cynical, misanthropic guy who makes sarcastic jokes and pretends he doesn't feel anything. I don't have to be happy, because I wasn't to begin with. I shouldn't worry about myself. She needs a NT guy so she can have some semblance of a normal life. She needs to be happy, that's what's important. If she were to show up in my room right now and have a change of heart and ask me out I would decline.

And what do I need? Nothing. I'm fine. I'm always fine. I'm unfeeling. My heart is made of stone. That's what I've lead all of them to believe.

This turned into more of a rant... but I think it's something I had to talk about, even if just on an internet forum.

Let the other guy win?
It's not a contest or a competition, it's a choice she makes to spend time with who she wants to spend time with.
She's not a prize she's a person.

It sounds to me, because this is something I do, that you've built a dramatic narrative in your head that's a lot more punchy than the reality of the situation. Sometimes the people we like like other people, that sucks, but it doesn't have to be an epic.

I think you should still hang out, if you have common interests why not just be friends and see what happens?

This.
I'm not sure it's fair to second-guess what she needs and wants for a normal life. She will make her own choices for her happiness. Continuing to spend time with her and letting her know you're interested isn't forcing her to do anything she doesn't want to.

That's just the thing. WE think that, but she may not. This has happened to me a lot, "oh, well, I'm not forcing her to do anything she doesn't wanna do just by being friends, so let's see what happens." It always ends up one-sided. The girl dumps her problems on you, but when it comes time for her to be a friend to you, she won't. I've seen the reverse happen plenty of times as well.

Agreeing with DWH and MHC on this one. Also, you're assuming that just because she is young (I guess?), that she is going to dump unwanted emoism on him about her problems, but not listen when he has some of his own (if he even tries to share them). Since we don't know her, I think that's an unwarranted assumption. I wouldn't tell her if I was into her, unless I was positive the other guy was out of the loop for boyfriend status, but it doesn't mean you nix the whole thing.