Not dating because of poor social status

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I hope the title makes any sense at all... To clarify:

Us aspies (or autists of course) might not be the most social bunch of people. Not that we're rude, but maybe we don't have as many friends as NT's and don't go out as much. Personally, I kind of feel like I shouldn't be dating again untill I'm doing a bit better in this regard. So I'm wondering, am I just being silly, or do you guys feel the same?

Also, would you mind a partner who's socially 'poor'? On the one hand he/she has plenty of time to spend with you, on the other hand he/she might be really dependent on you...

We spend more time at home and don't take care of ourselves the way a lot of NTs do, so we are generally uglier than them physically.

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" is the biggest crap statement ever known to the history of mankind.

I wouldn't say you shouldn't date when you have low social status but it maybe some downsides. Making bad decisions when you are feeling desperation being the worse.

I don't have any friends locally, but I don't feel that has any bearing on whether or not I date. Dependency/codependency is a separate issue from social status, IMO.

Some people who don't have a large social circle really value their independence and won't be clingy at all in a relationship; they may even need a lot of space. Other people who have a lot of friends do so precisely because they need constant company to feel validated, and therefore demand a lot of attention and time from a relationship. There's just no telling. I would evaluate someone romantically based on how they interact with me, regardless of their status with others.

ETA: Also, there are some quite attractive people on this forum, so while hygiene and appearance might be a factor on an individual basis, I don't know if it's generally applicable...

the two can be worked on at the same time. And friends can definetly help to get a relationship (though i wouldnt make too much friends from a relationship for obvious reasons).

As an Aspie, I'd prefer to date someone who doesn't have a big group of friends... I don't mind someone who expects me to get along with their family and a few other people, but I'd rather be with someone who understands not wanting to be around people all the time.

While I would prefer someone who is more outgoing than I, at the same time I would consider it important they they not be an extreme extrovert. My brother stayed with me not that long ago and had me worn out because he always had to have friends around him. The only saving grace was that most of his friends have small children and I can handle being around children all day long just not adults.

I don't have a friend in the world, but still took to online dating and now have a boyfriend.
I don't know what one has to do with the other?

I'd prefer a partner who isn't overly-social, otherwise I'd feel pretty abandoned.
N (beau) has one friend he goes to the movies with every now and then,
and I met some longtime friends at a wedding we went to together (we left when I got overwhelmed)
but other than that, not a social butterfly.

He's my best friend.

Hello!
Thanks for this interesting topic.
As far as I'm concern, I think you're not silly OR we are both silly, because I feel the same.
I really don't mind if my partner is socially "poor". And to be honest, I think I prefer that situation. I am uncomfortable when they are "too many" people around me. But this is independent of "he/she has plenty of time to spend with me".
I think AS relationship have to be thought very differently from the usual NT/"romance movie" one.

I talk, I talk but finally, I am still alone. No friends, no girlfriend. I AM SOCIALLY POOR!
So if you have the opportunity to not live the same way as I do, just don't. I am really not a good example. I ask myself too much questions about relationship. That is killing me!

BTW I read each previous reply, very interesting!
Thank to share your point of view.

Take care!

OMG, having someone dependent on me ruins everything. I am independent, I have my schedule, don't mess with it.

I tried helping a friend over an extended period (4 months) and my life, relationship were nearly ruined.

If you fear dependency from a partner, I would run.

Speak for yourself. Teeth brushed 2x daily, bath daily, hair combed.

That's the bare minimum - how often to do you go to a hairdresser or have a stylist pick your clothes? Basic hygiene is one thing, but NTs do go to much greater lengths to make themselves look pretty. I don't want to say it's a fact, but when your sense of self worth is not built on what people think of how you look, you tend to spend less time on appearance.

There's another factor... the outgoing, extroverted "socialites" will often date based on social status - the "pecking order" of how popular someone is in the workplace, school, etc. He could be ugly as sin, but if he's extroverted and popular he'll still be "dateworthy". (The girls seems to have a little more emphasis on being reasonably attractive, but not entirely. Social order trumps all.)

If you're the office loser, no matter how nice you look or how friendly you are, you won't be dated much or at all.

#@^1#& social order crap. Think for yourselves, drones!!

I've meet a decent number of people in my life and I've never met anyone in my life who had a stylist pick their clothes.

First of all, thanks for all the replies!

This comes close to my personal reasoning. If you don't have any friends, there must be something wrong with you, right? Of course I don't feel that way, but I think a lot of people think that way.

Then again, maybe I'm just scared of rejection. I've had a couple of girlfriends, and they didn't seem to mind it much. It might be good to remember I'm not the only one who's kind of messed up. Everybody has their issues.

Rule of Thumb: Women are hypergamous and will always seek a partner higher in status than they are. Guys would not mind a girl who is "socially poor". Women would absolutely hate to have a guy who is socially poor.