I am having a stupid idea right now

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Magnus_Rex
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09 Aug 2012, 8:21 pm

Suppose there was a girl who showed interest in you about two years ago, but you did not realize until it was too late because she was a little too subtle for you to understand (actually, everybody told me she was not subtle at all, but I digress). Outside of that, you never really had any interactions with her outside of the occasional greeting.

Fast forward to the present. You have three mutual friends on Facebook from the place you both worked at and she is suddenly appearing a lot on your list of people you may know. Apparently, she is single (uncertain; the only information available in her profile is that she is female and her profile picture). Suddenly, you start to think about the possibility of contacting her.

On a scale of 0 to 10 (0 being Doomsday Event and 10 being Critical Failure), how disastrous would that probably be?

The event that started it all, over a year and half ago.

Probably related, since it is what made me realize I really should get a girlfriend (by the way, I recently got over that. At least, I am not feeling bad about it anymore).



MetalAspie
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09 Aug 2012, 8:53 pm

It's really up to you but I don't think it's worth stressing about. The only way to find out if she's interested in staying in contact with you is by adding her.

If you add her, and she accepts your friend request, then that's that.

If you add her and she denies, so what? So she didn't feel like adding you as a friend which means she probably doesn't wanna stay in contact with you. And you're just back to where you are right now. Square one. Why should it matter if some random chick you hardly know may think you're "kinda weird" for trying to add her on Facebook? It doesn't affect your life at all.

However, I think you should JUST add her as a friend. Don't message her, don't leave her a comment. Have her as a friend on Facebook. You can like the occasional status here and there, maybe even comment on it if she posts something really interesting. I just wouldn't be sending her any "HEY WHATS UP? HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?" messages or comments. Let HER do that. Thats key for getting girls - letting them come to you



JMac26
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09 Aug 2012, 9:28 pm

I've kinda been through a similar thing as Magnus_Rex...

I've had a girl that seems to be pretty interested in me and she's tried to get my attention subtly twice and I've just missed the signs when it should have been obvious. The girl has backed off twice because at the same time she was trying to get my attention, I was taking interest in other girls but every once in a while she'd still try to get me to notice her. I also was in an off-again, on-again relationship with her best friend too, but that's been over with for a while.

I still see the girl in my college classes because we have the same major and I'm considering trying to talk to her but I really don't know what to talk about because her and I don't really share many interests other than our major.



Teredia
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09 Aug 2012, 10:00 pm

I have reconnected with people i went to school with in grades 1 and 2. It never hurts to just send a message and say "hey im such n such we know each other from such and such, i hope you remember me, would it be okay if i add you?"

works for me all the time. (well 90% of the time).



Magnus_Rex
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10 Aug 2012, 8:01 pm

Maybe I will add her. It probably will be pointless, but no harm could possibly come out of that. Whatever, the idea does not seem that interesting now that it is two days old. :?



nick007
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10 Aug 2012, 9:09 pm

I'd ask mutual friends about her 1st


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11 Aug 2012, 5:51 am

dont do it man!! ! trust me, suicide is not the answer!



spongy
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11 Aug 2012, 8:38 am

Send her a friend request.
If she accepts send a casual message.

If she is interested on catching up she´ll let you know by replying to that casual message rather quickly and with enthusiasm.

Keep it online for a week or so and then ask her if she´d like to grab some coffee if you two seem to be getting along.

Case in point: I received a friend request from a girl I barely knew(talked to her for less than 15 minutes) so I left her a short reply in one of her updates to see where things went(worst case scenario I was just being friendly/trying to help her with my reply).
She then proceeded to post on my latest update and send me two private messages(one of which said that she had heard some great things about me and she hopes that we can get to know each other on September(group of friends is now on a break, we will be back to planning things on September))
Its more than likely that this would have just remained as an odd friend request if I hadnt replied to her status.



Wolfheart
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11 Aug 2012, 8:48 am

It's one girl, you have nothing to lose and something to gain, follow your heart, roll the dice, never look back and never think twice.

Those are some sayings that I generally use personally and I think you're analysing this far too much, you could even come off as needy and someone that is seeking validation. You need to learn to let go off this analysing mindset and throw the rules out of the window.



Magnus_Rex
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11 Aug 2012, 9:05 am

I've done it yesterday night. You guys are right: there is nothing to lose and I am thinking too much. I really need to stop doing that.



Stalk
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18 Aug 2012, 2:26 pm

And what happened?



MacDragard
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18 Aug 2012, 7:04 pm

Quit being attached to the outcome. If you want to talk to her, do it.



Stalk
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19 Aug 2012, 3:28 am

curiosity killed the cat I guess



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19 Aug 2012, 3:44 am

Wolfheart wrote:
I think you're analysing this far too much, you could even come off as needy and someone that is seeking validation. You need to learn to let go off this analysing mindset and throw the rules out of the window.


This. A thousand times, this.

Most of the time, when you try to get a woman's interest, you will fail. Less so for the guys who are the most successful with women (though even they fail about a significant amount of the time). It's very freeing when you realize that those failures truly don't matter.

Spend all your time worried about what might go wrong, and nothing'll ever go right.


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Magnus_Rex
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19 Aug 2012, 5:26 pm

Stalk wrote:
And what happened?


It has been one week and she still did not add me. Either she does not use Facebook very often or she simply lost her interest (after almost two years, who would not?).

Well... It is not like I expected it to work. Right now, I am feeling surprisingly indifferent about it. I will try again when I feel attracted to another woman or vice versa (it does not happen very often).


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