Did something really stupid :/

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take it slowly. nothing have need to be rushed. i dont know for how long you have been friend but, tell him you want to take your time and get to know him at a new level: a potential boyfriend.

obviously, he does make you feel all good and well.. you should keep that feeling in mind and think about where you want to put that feelings. whats the next level.

saying that cos he is more autistic than you that you should not be with him is really not cool. all man on earth have hard time with their feelings. you, at least, have the same syndrome, just a different level, so its easier for you to understand how he feels. basically, you could really help him to get to the next level of emotional understandings.

Just keep in mind to put the "rules" out on the table right up front to avoid miscommunication. Good luck no mater what you decide to do.

Haha, thank you for showing exactly what I mean. That's what your fantastic communication skills allows you to say "shut up"? Lol
The only reason you people are pissed is because you know I'm right. If you actually tried to heal from this decease maybe you would have enough social skills to find a girlfriend, but instead you want to "celebrate neurodiversity" and be proud of your decease. If you don't want to learn social skills, then don't come crying when women find you creepy.

Just for your info: Women are throwing themselves on me. And btw, I personally don't believe in this neurodiversity s**t movement and the whole pride thing.

Now can please you shut up and let the two win each other? If you had a bad experience with an autistic man then that doesn't mean she'll face the same. Besides, she doesn't find him creepy, she was kissing him and about to bath with him. I say they're meant for each other, enough said.

Yea, I couldn't find a better response other than shut up to your sh***y post.

With all due respect, mate, the curtness of his response was conveying a "hidden meaning" inbetween the lines, and I am afraid this meaning was lost on you. Basically, along the lines of "This is such a stupid post that it isn't even worth wasting more than a couple of words on you".



I'm actually pissed about you trying to condemn Aspie men less fortunate than some of the rest of us to a lifetime of loneliness, by promoting the idea that women should not enter into relationships with men more autistic than they are. So what about all the heavily autistic men, then? Are they supposed to f**k hookers until they die?



You're in poor shape to be telling that guy that he has "poor social skills" when he's had at least 2 women that I know of interested in him (trust me, it's been a real saga), and for failing to recognize the hidden meaning in his initial response to you. Perhaps YOU need to be working on your social skills?

By the way, it's spelled DISEASE. Dictionary.com is your friend. We're not "deceased", I'm clearly not dead if I'm making this post am I?

What I can't understand is how you can get into a bath with a member of the opposite sex and kiss them 'just as a friend'! lol

The very fact of doing something where your naked/near-naked bodies will be in close proximity is in my opinion not friendship but pretending to be friends when one or both of you think otherwise and are hoping for more.

If you really see this man/boy as just a friend don't get into a bath with them as 99% of men are going to see it as some kind of green light for things to go further and to not know that is to be very naive. Either that or it means you enjoy teasing the man which is unfair on him.

Just to clarify, if any girl or guy wanted to get into a hot tub with me and just me and nobody else...? I'd totally be all like "Awwwww yeaaaaaaa, I'm am so in!"

From my observations of other women (of whom most I do not relate to at all), many like to test out their attractiveness on men in this manner while not wanting to actually have sex. It's foolhardy in the extreme in my opinion as many men will not know what the hell's going on and may well get pissed off/angry about being given such mixed messages. If you don't fancy a person it's unfair, not to say exceedingly crass behaviour to act as if you do. Most male/female friendships are based on a certain level of attraction so to keep it as just a friendship you have to have clear boundaries.

NT/many male and female friendships often seem to be based on some strange flirting ritual though whereby the female is using the male friend to reassure herswelf of her desirabuility while not actually wanting anything sexual from the man. If I were the man I wouldn't put up with it as it's demeaning; a lot of men are invariably led by their parts though a lot of the time so there's no telling them.

I am lucky enough to have true male friends who value me for myself, not whether they can get sex out of me. To me this is far more of an achievement.

WOMEN.....

hell, guys do flirt also a lot with women. its a game. and its a fun game. i had friends with whom i had flirt and they knew also that it was a game and nothing would go more further than that. its a way to say: i like you, you are attractive and you make me feel good and sexy.

but yeah. you need to be clear about what is those limits.

but in this specific case, i think both were already more than just friends and they didnt know about it. Having a drink, getting into a bathtub and kissing is pretty much close to lovers. Though, they could be just modern friends and have sex, have fun, spend time together, without getting involved.

its up to their choice.

and seriously guys... why getting into a fight over a love story of two people?

Nessa, if you dont deal pretty well with your AS or others with AS, thats your call. not the call of everybody.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SgND89KUWE[/youtube]

And you wonder why men get bitter after having had this experience several times over.

I daresay women would feel precisely the same way (i.e. angry and rejected) when it happens to them too, just that they tend not to talk about it.

Was that aimed at me because I don't wonder at anything - I was pointing out the facts of the situation.

I don't see how anything I've said on this thread has indicated I don't deal well with my Aspergers. There's no 'fight' either - just varying opinions which is what happens on discussion forums.

In the example given on this thread the male evidently didn't realise the 'rules of the game' by which the female was playing.

From what I've read, the OP doesn't actually explain who initiated what and when, up-to this situation. From a sort-of-NT viewpoint this is critical to understanding how this relationship will develop.

If you made any initiating - that you went to kiss him, or you suggested getting in the hot-tub then you clearly are attracted to him.

If he made all the initiating and you feel in the cold light of day you do not feel any attraction to him - you need to lay the law down, even if it ruins your friendship. Mixing alcohol and one-sided attraction is DANGEROUS.

Either way, you need to talk to the guy and explain how you felt and what you want to happen next.

yeah talking about it in writing might be good, since you are both autistic