Tomorrow I will be in social situations w. possible hookups

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BigBossMSF
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02 Sep 2012, 2:14 am

Gonna be mingling with a crowd in a big city with lots of single girls im sure and randomness. I hope I can push myself to be sociable with random girls and being friendly enough to maybe entice someone to give me their number or something, but...OF COURSE...i will be feeling the aspie awkwardness concerning approaching a girl and when to determine a proper moment to ask for her number if the signs point to her being interested. Any last minute tips as to when to determine when someone is actually interested in me? (Yes I watched the vague video on the front page of this site which doesnt really go in depth about anything).



AutiDiva
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02 Sep 2012, 2:49 am

Geez, I hope you're not talking about NYC in midtown at 2pm!


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spongy
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02 Sep 2012, 2:54 am

Focus on having fun yourself not on the amount of numbers you get.

If you focus on enjoying the interactions/whatever is going on people will be more comfortable around you and you´ll be likelier to get some numbers.

Also numbers are a bit hard to pull off so maybe consider trying to set another meeting through a different medium(for example last date I set was with someone that randomly added me to fb(we met once she didnt ask for it but found me through friends) and after noticing a common interest I told her if she wanted to meet to do something related to that common interest))



BigBossMSF
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02 Sep 2012, 2:56 am

AutiDiva wrote:
Geez, I hope you're not talking about NYC in midtown at 2pm!
Nope, Madison, WI for some on the street multiple food vendor thing where you can sample small portions of various restaurants.



AutiDiva
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02 Sep 2012, 3:36 am

Oh, ok, because in our group, we are about autism self advocacy and we need to stay focused.

I don't know how old you are, I am almost 48, so I will share some wisdom on "hooking up": always be honest up front, no matter what. Be direct and be yourself. Females between 19-28 "hook-up", at and after 30, we want to be courted and dated. The best way to create a connection is through sincere shared interests and Friendship is the best way.

Never, ever do something that you don't want to but might just because She wants you to; be yourself and don't be afraid to be confident. If you focus on "hooking up" as the last thing, the relationship you want will happen. Opposites attract because we are always searching for ourselves in others so what we lack is Attractive.

We are "chemically" drawn to each other though this is only the physical level which has nothing to do with the emotional, intellectual or spiritual level, thought it is very strong, so Look Wisely :)

Good Good luck.

AutiDiva
NYC


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existing. To change something, build a new model and make the existing
obsolete"..... Truth ;-)


BigBossMSF
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02 Sep 2012, 4:22 am

AutiDiva wrote:
Oh, ok, because in our group, we are about autism self advocacy and we need to stay focused.

I don't know how old you are, I am almost 48, so I will share some wisdom on "hooking up": always be honest up front, no matter what. Be direct and be yourself. Females between 19-28 "hook-up", at and after 30, we want to be courted and dated. The best way to create a connection is through sincere shared interests and Friendship is the best way.

Never, ever do something that you don't want to but might just because She wants you to; be yourself and don't be afraid to be confident. If you focus on "hooking up" as the last thing, the relationship you want will happen. Opposites attract because we are always searching for ourselves in others so what we lack is Attractive.

We are "chemically" drawn to each other though this is only the physical level which has nothing to do with the emotional, intellectual or spiritual level, thought it is very strong, so Look Wisely :)

Good Good luck.

AutiDiva
NYC


Just to clarify, when I say "hook up" I don't mean have sex, I just mean have a connection of some sort. :)



AutiDiva
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02 Sep 2012, 4:40 am

See? That's a perfect example of the age thing and there's a big difference when it's to Autism Spectrum females and Neurotypical females; just be direct, yourself, honest. If you have female siblings, relatives, "practice" with them, ie talking, relating.... Role playing is always an effective tool for learning behaviors.


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existing. To change something, build a new model and make the existing
obsolete"..... Truth ;-)


BigBossMSF
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02 Sep 2012, 4:48 am

AutiDiva wrote:
See? That's a perfect example of the age thing and there's a big difference when it's to Autism Spectrum females and Neurotypical females; just be direct, yourself, honest. If you have female siblings, relatives, "practice" with them, ie talking, relating.... Role playing is always an effective tool for learning behaviors.


And to further clarify, I am 30, I've had several relationships, and even have been married for 2 years (now divorced)



curlyfry
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02 Sep 2012, 10:34 pm

Just follow spongy's advice and don't worry about over thinking things. You might be so focused on the good eats that you won't have much anxiety.