Its Not Getting Any Easier

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Greetings.

From June 9 to August 8 of this year, I was in the first serious relationship of my life. It was the most amazing two months of my life. Long story short, we broke up. This was over a month ago and I still think about her every single day. I am still constantly trying to think of how I could have done better, how I could have changed myself to be the man she needed. This isnt getting any easier, I really don't see myself getting into another relationship... ever.

Something else is bothering me too.
I keep having dreams about my high school crush. She is now married to an army guy and has a child (by a different man, but army guy is playing "daddy"). I know I could never in a million years have her, but i keep having dreams about the two of us getting close, and her leaving the other guy.

Dreams are meant to make us feel better since life is so darn frustrating, boring, and more often than not doesn't give a crap about our needs. I'm a full--time dreamer and think there were times when my dreams where the only thing that made life bearable. It's healthier than drugs or alc and we have fantasy to use it for our benefit, not to suppress and deny it.

I keep having dreams about my lady friend over and over and over again. Last night was like the 30th one I've had. To further put it into perspective, the last girl I liked appeared in only 2 of my dreams.