Telling my boyfriend about having aspergers.

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I've been dating this guy for four months. We are super close (yadda yadda blah). My mom told me the other day she has always thought I have aspergers, and when I told my bf that I might have it (I didn't know enough about it until today when I discovered that I am) and asked what he would do, he said he didn't know.
So now that I know (I am unable to contact him via phone or the interweb) how should I go about telling him. His younger brother has autism but his 'I don't know' reply makes me ask if their is a certain way I should bring it up.

Thanks.

Maybe start with, "You might have heard that autism and asperger's is a pretty broad spectrum, right?"

For me personally, I tend to have patchy skills. Which is actually good news, because it means if I don't pick up on something it's not intentionally. (and one thing I learn is that I often need to try less hard in a more zen like fashion)

And I need a fair amount of alone time to emotionally process.

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Hopefully, your boyfriend will be open to growing with you, as well as you being open to grow with him. And I think knowing about Asperger's is a good thing since it kind of provides a conceptual whole to better understand oneself, although it may take your boyfriend a while to wrap his mind around the idea.

If he loves you for who you are he should love you despite having Asperger's. There's a certain level of unconditional love in a boyfriend/girfriend relationship, and I think part of that is accepting someone's biological flaws (of course, a BF/GF relationship by no means is remotely unconditional). *storms off to rant about Kristen Stewart*

First off be careful not to sound like the neurodiversity people or focus on debilitating aspects. Some of the down side will show up in the dialogue eventually, but focus on the positives and that you are still the same person even if you are having a rough time lately. Consider getting advice from a professional counselor as well.

In the event that all goes badly (God forbid) and you can't reconcile it, be prepared to let him go and move on. If this comes between you like that, the relationship is doomed to fail anyway.

Just tell him the basic facts about it. Nothing has changed your still the same person he met and started dating. If he truly loves you then he'll be fine with it and nothing will change except that he might have a better understanding of you. Just go for it.

If I were him I'd be like "hell yeah".

Exactly.

He may of seemed to have the I don't know attitude because of the wording of the question. Asking him what he would do when your telling him your an Aspie may of sounded like you were expecting or wanting or thought he might do something now that he has that knowledge. I don't think there is really anything he should be doing except to listen to you talk about it if you want & be willing to try to consider the Aspie side when there is a problem within your relationship. Instead of telling him about Aspergers in general; tell him about the way you are like what you like, dislike, the way you communicate, way you think ect

I litterally had to type it in on the search bar to find this after I wrote it, thanks for replying.

There is a view your posts button. Or you could click on your account, and look through your post history.

Well because I couldn't find my question, I told him but not very well.

He thinks I mention it too much and letting it... I got a bunch of books on having and dealing Asperger's and he thinks this is going overboard with it.

I feel like this means he doesn't believe I have it.

Maybe he thinks your letting the diagnoses define you; like maybe your focusing on your Aspieness more than other things like your individuality or nonAspie things

That's it. He gets mad when I mention it though. I do not think that should be the case.

Exactly, you can't change who you are and you shouldn't compromise yourself if he doesn't love you for who you are. It is what it is and relationships aren't everything, if he doesn't make you feel confident or comfortable about your diagnosis and coming to place of self-acceptance, he really isn't worth it.

When I read your post, I thought at first your question was "What should you do about your aspergers"

It's possible that he truly does not see it in you. That is probably a very good thing if it's true.

I agree, don't let your diagnosis define you or become a special interest, especially if your already having a productive life.