Interesting OKCupid Conversation

Post Reply New Topic

Well, I got a message from a girl who I normally wouldn't give the time of day: much younger, no picture and complains constantly about being burned and what a waste of time online dating is, etc. I decided to message back and to make a long story short, she stopped showing interest after about 20 messages. She flat out told me that she can't understand why someone tall, athletic, has his own full time job and car and is so well spoken could possibly be single.

Glad she came right out and said it because I have suspected it for a long time. Women look at me and immediately wonder "what's the catch?" since I shouldn't be single at my age. Sounds like my job hunting experience. I was told flat out twice that there is NO WAY I could be unemployed so long so I must be lying.

Sounds like a good start.

lmao i bet girls look at me that way too. To be honest I look at all of th girls ont ht site who are avg looking or better and say wtf is wrong with them.

Well I went on a date and she's almost certainly an Aspie if not an Autie. Without giving a detailed explanation, I understand why I've never had a girlfriend. She seemed cold, uninterested and rude at times but went along with everything I suggested. Let's just say it took a while to warm up to her but it was a VERY productive date in the end!

If I had not visited WP, I would have ended it right away, rather than being out all night. I still struggled to really "get" her and she said the same about me but let's just say I made my feelings clear in that direct Aspie way as the night ended! Still, I was utterly clueless to her social cues to hold her hand until late in the night! Let's just say I might not be single anymore.

That's worth possibly addressing on my OKcupid account (SeeThreePeeOh)

What's the catch? Why is a great guy like me still single? Well, I wouldn't be except my ex-wife had other plans...

I wonder how I should phrase that.

that's a tough slice of information to slip into a dating profile

I wish I could be talked to on okcupid....... PM me if ya want my handle on there.

True, of course... it would probably scare off more people than the number already possibly thinking "too good to be true".

Check out me profile and tell me what you think... we may not always see eye-to-eye but at least I know you won't BS me.

can you give a detailed explanation why youu havent had a gf?It'd help me I'd be curious.I'd also be curious to see your dating profile.
Ihave a date coming up this wk
im also curious why you ignored my pm

I never received any PM from you and I can assure you I always respond to any question send my way to the best of my ability.

My date flat out asked me this week and I told her the truth: I'm slow to warm up to people so girls get the impression I'm not interested, I can be very direct and honest which girls can misinterpret, I was too fussy and had unrealistic expectations and I wasn't *truly* ready to be willing to make the sacrifices necessary in order to have a successful relationship. That, and I am completely oblivious to flirting and cues which comes across (and did last night too to her) as being disinterested. She was teasing me this morning about how many hints she dropped that I missed and if I didn't come out and say late in the night I'm oblivious she wouldn't have though there was no attraction. I'd love to show you my dating profile but I've already taken it down: besides, it's like a resume in that there's little that stands out about it. Trust me when I say my date's profile was awful but we had a blast and had to *ahem* contain ourselves even being too shy and awkward people. Bottom line, her profile, like everyone I've met says little about her and it's ironic I'm saying online dating is a waste of time while I found her there.

My extensive research on Autism probably saved what was a boring date with no chemistry into a date where she makes it quite clear this morning what she wants to do next time

glad it all worked out but don tput all your chickens in her basket..you prob should have left your profile up.

I have two dates coming up lol.

Ah. "What's the catch?" That is a good explanation as to why I have such a hard time getting a job. People think someone well-spoken, educated, and clean-cut should have a much longer resume than I do by the time they're my age.

From the dating side, it made me think of an acquaintance of mine. He is attractive and funny, and I would imagine girls who don't know him or the signs of AS would wonder what the catch is.

Lol I've been told the same things myself, quite a few times. Pretty much everyone who sees my resume is blown away, my previous employer (internship) absolutely loved me...but still I get plenty of interviews but 0 job offers. My technical and job-related skills are top of the line, but my charisma leaves a lot to be desired. With dating it's the same story, on paper I've been told I'm pretty much a perfect catch, but after a date or two most women seem to completely lose interest. I've gotten much much better at socializing over the past few years, but in terms of charisma and charm, I feel like I can use a huge improvement. Guess that it's the next thing I'll have to work on.

Now I've never been told that I'm lying about being single or having difficulties finding a job, but that's partially because I have really good excuses that I use for both of those questions if anyone asks (been perfecting them for the past 5 years lol). I'm glad that you found someone you can relate to, I hope that it works out for you!

what are those excuses?

In terms of dating, its along the lines of "I've been so focused all of my life on my academic and professional development that, until recently, I haven't really had the time to devote to a relationship. Now that I have achieved many of my goals in life, I find I have much more free time, that I would love to share with someone" - This is really the only response I've found that makes my lack of romantic experience more socially acceptable, it's always a question I dread answering though.

And for jobs (this is more of a special case situation for me): "I initially got a degree in ______, and only realized after getting into the job market that it is currently a small, almost niche field due to the fact that it really only came into existence within the past decade. Therefore, I later decided to go into _______ as the two fields are very similar and really complement each other in many ways, and thus will allow me to utilize my diverse and multidisciplinary talents to the best of my ability."

Both of those are completely truthful as well, which is important. Just have to try and phrase the truth in as positive a light as possible!