Is there someone that you would...

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JanuaryMan
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07 Oct 2012, 9:40 pm

Is there someone in your life that you would wait for? Or you feel they are worth waiting for? Would you wait on them regardless of the outcome? Would you wait for them over others? And is what you are waiting for between you and them something special?

I like to think this can be in a platonic sense or for someone you love and admire. I am talking about a situation where you want to be with someone so bad but maybe for whatever reason you can't be with them (at least, not yet). Maybe they are someone you pass by every day to work or see in class but you haven't built up the courage or there is a lot at risk, you're waiting for the right moment. Maybe they're someone you want to get close to but they are having a hard time and it isn't possible to be with them for the time being. Maybe you already found this person and things are currently difficult, but if things changed you would stick by them one way or another.

Your thoughts people - share them please!



mds_02
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07 Oct 2012, 10:12 pm

What kind of waiting do you mean?


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07 Oct 2012, 10:16 pm

The ways i see waiting defined as... no.



Colinn
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07 Oct 2012, 10:30 pm

Something tells me this is a situation you are currently facing JanuaryMan? I feel if someone was truly the right person then it would not be so difficult. I've seen it countless times, people staying in relationships out of simplicity and denial when they were just not compatible in that way. The types of situations you describe I would say would be those of someone who would be a "hopeless romantic". I believe in compatibility, but I don't believe in love. Plus, from what I've seen the notion of love just makes people more vulnerable and lose their sense of judgement. So I guess its a no from me.



JanuaryMan
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07 Oct 2012, 10:43 pm

Hmm I guess I'm in this predicament. I was more on about someone you knew well enough for it to be a rational decision rather than out of being a needy person or as someone best put it just staying in a relationship of some kind because its a relationship. That's a notion I'm not really fond of as I like to enjoy the times when I'm single and devote my time to others only when it's right to in my mind (not wearing ones heart on a sleeve in other words!).

To answer an earlier question I guess in asking if you would be patient and understanding enough to go through ups and downs to be with someone as a friend or partner if it is something you have to endure before it will happen. There's also a case of knowing what to accept and what not to accept when doing this. I guess I had already reached a decision I was curious if anything about other people's thoughts on the matter and what would they do and why. For what it's worth I think I'm doing the right thing :) while I'm not the nicest guy I like to think I'm level headed.



Boxman108
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07 Oct 2012, 10:50 pm

I guess you could say I've been waiting off and on for this girl since just before I turned 14(go and read my thread about it in the Haven if you're curious). Thing is, you can't wait for anyone to love you, and you can't force them to, either. Any arbitrary change in yourself isn't going to convince anyone. Even if they do turn around and "realize" they really do like you, it's probably nothing real.

So I guess it just depends on your own morals and what specific type of situation it is. For me, with what has felt like real intimacy and honesty between her and I, only to have her then talk about someone else she's obsessed with despite all his faults, is too painful for me to deal with anymore.


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Colinn
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07 Oct 2012, 10:52 pm

If it is someone you know well and feel really compatible with then I would say its worth the risk. Might be a bit awkward if it doesn't go to plan, but you won't know until you try. Plus, as you know in the dating world it is much easier for women in most cases, so they could easily form a relationship then you would be left to think "what if?". If this is what you're going through then I hope you do take the risk and that it pays off for you.



Last edited by Colinn on 07 Oct 2012, 11:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.

aspiemike
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07 Oct 2012, 11:03 pm

Considering the terms stated in the post here, I would say no. I would feel like a complete fool if I were to wait for someone. I am getting older, not younger. These people that would make me wait are only ever going to be friends at best, but probably just acquaintences in the end.



JanuaryMan
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07 Oct 2012, 11:04 pm

Ah. Yeah it's more of the latter than the former and ill leave it at that. It's a case of what if and me being satisfied with either outcome - being a friend or something more than that because if the compatibility. I'm not in a position were it is someone that doesn't know how i feel yet that I haven't asked out. Man that can be super awkward if it fails, nd trust me I have failed or been rejected my fair share of times!

And I totally agree Boxman you can't wait for someone to care for you in that way. Maybe in a couple of scenarios you would become a better person and things would change because of it but under normal circumstances I agree if very little changes about you if they don't care from the offset it is highly unlikely they will ever care for you at all. But that's another topic altogether lol

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07 Oct 2012, 11:11 pm

I have to say, I would wait for Spazzdog under those or any other conditions, and I have, although not for years and years or anything like that. I would've waited that long if that's what it took, but luckily for me it was just a matter of a few months.

Not that waiting for him was an easy thing to do, in the least bit. But my heart was his from the moment we met and I had no desire to walk away.


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08 Oct 2012, 12:21 am

Nah, I don't think I'd wait for anyone. But then, I'm not the sort of person to ever want someone "so bad". I'd be happy to get on with my life in the meantime, and not deliberately be "waiting".



spongy
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08 Oct 2012, 2:30 am

If said person just needed some time off relationships and I was very much into them/knew that I had a chance Id wait a reasonable amount of time(less than a year).

That is a big if and quite unlikely to happen.

I wont wait for someone that wants to be with someone else for a while but keep their options open or anything similar because that doesnt seem like a good way of starting a healthy relationship



DogsWithoutHorses
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08 Oct 2012, 10:46 pm

I waited for years in school for this popular guy (which at my high school meant quirky and social, we didn't have sports teams or jocks or "bad boys" because it was fairly easy to get kicked out) who was just friends with me. Had an unrequited crush for ages. He asked me out junior year and I was super happy and it was totally awesome end of the movie goodtimes, for like a month...and then the social isolation and power games and hitting and no one believing he was abusive because of what a nice funny guy he was and me believing them for awhile untill things got too bad again made the last two years of high school terrible. soo...that's how that went for me...

I think I wanted and waited for so long that when I finally got it, and it turned out terrible, I tried really hard to make it good to justify all the times I spent. Like throwing good money after bad to save the initial investment.

So..I guess I don't think it's a great plan.


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09 Oct 2012, 12:38 pm

Waiting while still being productive and possibly pursuing other avenues is good.

That is what I am doing. It is nice to be "out there" again.


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09 Oct 2012, 1:05 pm

If he was interested in me too and there were high possibilites of having a good relationship, then yes, I would wait, but not for years, that would be too much suffering.


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DialAForAwesome
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09 Oct 2012, 2:46 pm

This is exactly what I'm doing now, and to be honest, it kinda hurts.


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