Relationship Problems, what to do?

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Tarralikitak
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10 Oct 2012, 4:36 pm

I have aspergers and I have been dating my bf for almost two months. Things were good until I moved to College and he stopped taking his Prozac. I have come home three times now on weekends, and the first two weekends ended in us fighting. We fought because I needed him to communicate more with me, where as he didn't want to talk about his emotions and he ran away from his/ our problems. This past weekend I went down and I changed it up a bit and we didn't fight although I cried two times because of him. Sometimes he does things thoughtlessly and it hurts me, or he's careless in what he says but things have gotten worse... He playfully punched my arm a few times as we walked to his parents, and I told him it hurt and he was going to leave a bruise, which it did. He is very sarcastic and he "jokes" around a lot. I think his friends affect him negatively as well.

Recently he sent me this:

"I've dated like 2 people who lasted a longtime, Nancy, and Alice. Alice f****d me up a lot and life hasn't been the same since. I lack emotional feelings, I can't understand compassion anymore. I have no moral support. My life seems to be sitting on a edge of a cliff, and ready to just jump. My mom seems to think I treat everyone like s**t and I probably do, I won't ever know if I do because I don't understand the concept of it, and probably never will. People easily piss me off and I hold back so much I tend to just let it go on all the wrong people. I'm stressed all the time and have been since I was child I have stress marks on my back to prove it, I have a job I quit yesterday because I'd rather live like a total loser like the rest of C-wall cause apparently that's the way everyone lives now a days. No matter what I do now or later I won't ever be able to live a normal life, so I'm just gonna quit while I'm ahead. Bye."

He hasn't really talked to me since he sent this. But he sent out a really angry fb status... This whole thing has been stressing me out and it's brought out some of my compulsive/ obsessive traits which I know are not beneficial to the situation. I'm trying to leave him alone and let him cool off. I'm just worried. And I'm not sure what to do.



nessa238
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10 Oct 2012, 10:07 pm

Tarralikitak wrote:
I have aspergers and I have been dating my bf for almost two months. Things were good until I moved to College and he stopped taking his Prozac. I have come home three times now on weekends, and the first two weekends ended in us fighting. We fought because I needed him to communicate more with me, where as he didn't want to talk about his emotions and he ran away from his/ our problems. This past weekend I went down and I changed it up a bit and we didn't fight although I cried two times because of him. Sometimes he does things thoughtlessly and it hurts me, or he's careless in what he says but things have gotten worse... He playfully punched my arm a few times as we walked to his parents, and I told him it hurt and he was going to leave a bruise, which it did. He is very sarcastic and he "jokes" around a lot. I think his friends affect him negatively as well.

Recently he sent me this:

"I've dated like 2 people who lasted a longtime, Nancy, and Alice. Alice f**** me up a lot and life hasn't been the same since. I lack emotional feelings, I can't understand compassion anymore. I have no moral support. My life seems to be sitting on a edge of a cliff, and ready to just jump. My mom seems to think I treat everyone like sh** and I probably do, I won't ever know if I do because I don't understand the concept of it, and probably never will. People easily piss me off and I hold back so much I tend to just let it go on all the wrong people. I'm stressed all the time and have been since I was child I have stress marks on my back to prove it, I have a job I quit yesterday because I'd rather live like a total loser like the rest of C-wall cause apparently that's the way everyone lives now a days. No matter what I do now or later I won't ever be able to live a normal life, so I'm just gonna quit while I'm ahead. Bye."

He hasn't really talked to me since he sent this. But he sent out a really angry fb status... This whole thing has been stressing me out and it's brought out some of my compulsive/ obsessive traits which I know are not beneficial to the situation. I'm trying to leave him alone and let him cool off. I'm just worried. And I'm not sure what to do.


I'd have a break from him and if he communicates with you just be civil. He sounds like he has too much trouble coping with himself and life in general to have any emotional resources left for a relationship. I'd focus on just trying to be a friend if he asks for support and less on having him as a boyfriend as it sounds like the more emotionally involved you get with him, the more he'll hurt you, whether intentionally or not. You could send him a message saying you understand how he feels and you're there for him if he needs a friend to talk to - then leave the ball in his court.



Tarralikitak
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11 Oct 2012, 11:00 am

We broke up. Well he broke up with me...



JanuaryMan
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11 Oct 2012, 11:55 am

Don't take it as rejection. He couldn't cope and this was his way of being in control of the situation. Maybe in a few years he can reconcile with himself and his decisions and he might be someone worth considering again but in the mean time he did you a favour as right now he is not in a good way to be dating.



Tarralikitak
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11 Oct 2012, 12:40 pm

Thanks I'm starting to realize it too.



Tarralikitak
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11 Oct 2012, 5:09 pm

:cry: I know it's better if we aren't together but I still want to be with him... But there is no hope.



Blammo
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11 Oct 2012, 7:21 pm

You'll be okay :)

You'll find someone who treats you well. Those who don't treat you well don't deserve a space in your life.


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hartzofspace
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11 Oct 2012, 7:42 pm

Blammo wrote:
You'll be okay :)

You'll find someone who treats you well. Those who don't treat you well don't deserve a space in your life.

I agree!


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