Page 1 of 1 [ 11 posts ] 

bizboy1
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Mar 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 945
Location: California, USA

15 Oct 2012, 12:00 am

I've messaged three girls today and no response. They are attractive and two of them are aspies. I'm attractive yet I get no response. Why? Are girls intimidated or not interested? I don't understand. My profile says I'm an aspie. I have good face shots and one body shot (not shirtless). I'm 23 and I attend college. I'm very smart and like I said I'm attractive. I average 11 visitors a week and they are all hot. I was rated highly by three users. I got an email from okcupid and it said I was attractive. I also did the facerate thing and I got high scores. So what's my problem? I can link my profile but I'm hesitant and don't know how. I'm also just looking for friends right now as I'm a little overweight from my meds and am in a s**t position emotionally and financially.


_________________
INTJ


yellowtamarin
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Sep 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,763
Location: Australia

15 Oct 2012, 12:07 am

What are you saying in your messages?
Does your profile say you are only looking for friends?



P.S. Give them a bit longer than a day to respond.



bizboy1
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Mar 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 945
Location: California, USA

15 Oct 2012, 12:19 am

Two of the messages were probably too personal. The other one was just "Hey, how are you?". She didn't have her profile filled out so that's all I could think about. My profile says I'm looking for friends and dating.
I know I should give them more than a day but they are online and viewed my profile so it's conflicting.


_________________
INTJ


yellowtamarin
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Sep 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,763
Location: Australia

15 Oct 2012, 12:45 am

bizboy1 wrote:
Two of the messages were probably too personal. The other one was just "Hey, how are you?". She didn't have her profile filled out so that's all I could think about. My profile says I'm looking for friends and dating.
I know I should give them more than a day but they are online and viewed my profile so it's conflicting.

I never reply to just a "hello", they have to show that they have read my profile. Don't know if other women are the same. I guess not, if she hasn't even filled out her profile, what does she expect? :shrug:



ValentineWiggin
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 May 2011
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,907
Location: Beneath my cat's paw

15 Oct 2012, 1:32 am

Ask questions based on their profiles.
It was very hard for me to not want to answer someone who was like
"I see that you've read __________. What do you think of his theorem on...?"
"I caught the TNG reference. I'm more of a Wars fan, meself. I forgive you, though. :P"
"Interesting that you subscribe to Utilitarianism. Would you describe yourself as a Peter Singer fan, or do you prefer Bentham?"
Maybe the third girl was new- I at least put up a short temporary one while I was writing my longer profile- I put a lot of thought into it, so it took a while before it was ready.

Curious: what has you worried about being "too personal"?
Did you get sexual? You never GO FULL SEXUAL IN THE FIRST MESSAGE! :)


_________________
"Such is the Frailty
of the human Heart, that very few Men, who have no Property, have any Judgment of their own.
They talk and vote as they are directed by Some Man of Property, who has attached their Minds
to his Interest."


Who_Am_I
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Aug 2005
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,632
Location: Australia

15 Oct 2012, 3:09 am

Viewing your profile and not replying isn't necessarily a bad sign; they might just be figuring out what to say.
Also, if they're Aspies, they might be suffering from a case of poor communication skills. :)


_________________
Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I


ShamelessGit
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Jul 2010
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 718
Location: Kansas

15 Oct 2012, 7:48 am

My advice would be not to use OKCupid.



wtfid2
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Aug 2012
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,712
Location: usa

15 Oct 2012, 8:13 am

ShamelessGit wrote:
My advice would be not to use OKCupid.
this


_________________
AQ 25

Your Aspie score: 101 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 111 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits


DialAForAwesome
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Oct 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,189
Location: That place with the thing

15 Oct 2012, 8:23 am

ShamelessGit wrote:
My advice would be not to use OKCupid.


Or any dating site, really.


_________________
I don't trust anyone because I'm cynical.
I'm cynical because I don't trust anyone.


GiantHockeyFan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jun 2012
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,293

15 Oct 2012, 10:54 am

My advice would be to be open minded and respond to anyone if they message you no matter what and don't go into expecting a soulmate just a friend. I responded back to a casual message from a girl that I would never have given the time of day (probably one of the worst profiles I have ever seen) and just two weeks later we are madly in love with each other. I never even intended to pursue a relationship with her, just friendship and it quickly escalated to the point she spend several days alone with me. She admitted to me she finds it hard to respond to anyone because she gets so nervous and is scared of embarrassing herself, something we men tend to think women don't suffer from given the high number of arrogant, snobby profiles from stuck up women online.

I should mention that my girlfriend is far from 'hot' at least in public but privately there is another side to her just as there is to me!



ValentineWiggin
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 May 2011
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,907
Location: Beneath my cat's paw

15 Oct 2012, 2:21 pm

If it wasn't for dating sites, a lot of us would never date at all. :(
OKC is how I met my bf.

I second what WhoAmI said- I would lurk profiles a lot, trying to decide whether I was "good enough" to actually message someone. Usually, they would spare me the intimidation and message me first, so I'd recommend that.


_________________
"Such is the Frailty
of the human Heart, that very few Men, who have no Property, have any Judgment of their own.
They talk and vote as they are directed by Some Man of Property, who has attached their Minds
to his Interest."