What do you think happened?

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Hi

Something ... interesting shall we say happened at our Autism and Asperger's meetups!
My now ex was hitting it off with a guy I pretty much presumed she would end up dating. That's great, he's a decent fella I think they will get on better than we ever did.

But there's a problem. She was quite keen to keep referring to me as ex bf rather than by name. And even though I was busy talking with some of the guys she was after my attention a couple of times and also proceeded to go out of her way to hug me as well. So let me explain further why I find this a tad odd..

We have had 4 new girls join our group the same time as her now new bf and well last week I was talking to a couple of them before I left early to do other things. This was at the pub and not our usual meeting place. Now this week the same girls while they keep looking at me, there was a strange air and we just couldn't communicate. No offence to some of the others but there are some serious Aspie cases there and I don't think they keep looking at me because they think I'm weird.

I'd like your thoughts on this please. Here are mine:

1) She wanted to beat me to finding a love interest first, that silly thing ex's do to each other when they're young.
2) She didn't want me to find anyone AT ALL, let alone before her.
3) So she has told these girls something else besides the fact that my name is now "ex boyfriend".
4) I think she was also hugging and trying to hog me in front of her new guy to make him compete and also to keep the other girls away.

What am I going to do to address this?

The girls in question are now the only ones in a group of 30 people weird around me. I don't like that so I'm going to just do what I normally do and approach them when I run out of things to say to someone else and get talking to them whether they be funny or not, to show them whatever it is they must have heard is pretty much hogwash. Whether or not I'd be interested in "getting to know them" beyond group as friends is pretty much irrelevant at this stage I guess as while I do find one of them attractive my main focus is tying up loose ends such as getting my new apartment. But in the mean time I would like them to see the person I am rather than sit back and believe the crap someone not wanting me to talk to other girls has told them, because let's be fair we are a gullible bunch at the best of times depending on the situation.

So yeah what do you think?

Hmmm, in a nutshell, tell her to stay out of your buisiness, aka f**k Off I have my own life to live

EDIT: Edited for the sake of the person(s) discussed.

I think you should try and join another Aspie group if one is somewhere around you. I think you need some time away from each other. At least a couple of months. Maybe you can try joining some other group activity that interests you. I got into LARPing recently. You might want to look into it. I have other suggestions as well if you are interested in hearing them.

Just keep doing what you do and being you. Your actions will eventually speak louder than your ex gf's words, however weirdly fabricated they may be.

Believe me, I have seen girls play this game over a guy, and if a girl likes you, she will like you whether another girl tells her you have alien scales and a dog tail and webbed feet.

EDIT: Edited for the sake of the person(s) being discussed.

EDIT: Edited for the sake of the person(s) being discussed.

Sounds like your a little bitter. All the other girls know is that your an ex and she has a bf, nothing new to them, it happens. Insecure people have to feel the need to display before their significant that the relationship ended on civil terms and that they are not the bad guy. You can refer to her as the ex also. It's irritating now but hopefully will pass. If you want to be insecure too you can just refer to her bf as the transitional guy

Yeah I guess I'm bitter. Not about her good fortune but how she is going about the whole thing and pretty much distancing me from other people, not just her.I know she's an aspie too but admittedly part of me wants to think its deliberate but it's okay I have a thick skin i will be fine in a couple of weeks and just deal with it diplomatically like advised !

Well if all she's doing is going around saying to anyone who will listen: "my ex boyfriend has a tiny willy" then I don't think you need to worry. The kind of people who are willing to listen to that sort of malicious gossip about people's private anatomy are the kind of people you wouldn't want to have as your friends anyway.

Who cares if they believe her lies? What does it matter? Just find a different group to go to and don't hang around those people any more. Honestly, if somebody came up to me and tried to tell me all about their ex-boyfriend's willy (whether big or small) I'd just cover my ears and say in disgust: "please go away and stop telling me this. It's none of my business,and I don't want to hear."

On the other hand, if she's spreading more serious rumours, such as pretending that you beat her or you have an STD or you're a drug dealer or a cross-dresser or something stupid like that, you need to find out about them and put a stop to them. Otherwise, she might seriously be dafaming your character.

It all sounds rather immature. (On her part, not yours)!

EDIT: Edited for the sake of person(s) being discussed.