Do you ever wonder what it's like being in a

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Truly loving, healthy relationship? Where both people are equally attracted and affectionate towards the other?

I mean, I have never experienced that, It almost seems too good to be true.

too good to be true sums up my thoughts too. im not going to hold my breath for it

Lately I've been thinking about this a lot. I know I've made all of the choices that lead to screwed up relationships, but I'm trying to change that. I ended a potentially damaging relationship recently before it got that far. I guess that's one step forward.

I hope I can figure this out.

I have been in a relationship like that.

It lasted three years, but ended because we weren't sexually compatible, and she lived 1,200 miles away.

Yeah, quite often. I think it's a lot of the reason I listen to the music I listen to, it's mostly poppy old love songs. I feel like they give me a window into "love" and I don't know... Maybe love sang, talked, and wrote about is fiction, and not reality. I certainly hope not.

I wonder, though, quite a lot, maybe to my detriment.

I've seen in a lot in the couples I interact with, and it does make me wonder, but I figure it's something that will come down the road with relationship experience (good and bad).



I wouldn't necessarily consider this a precursor to a truly loving, healthy relationships, as there's probably going to be a slight addition or subtraction of affection to tip the scale somewhere along the line. Or, it could wind up being "too much of a good thing".

Despite having been in one once before - sometimes I wonder if I will ever find that again.

I'm not sure what is worse: to know exactly what you are missing out on, and missing it like crazy, or never knowing exactly what it's like and therefore you cannot miss it, only fantasize about it - although I imagine you would still feel the space or emptiness where you envision it should fit into your life, to some extent regardless of which category you fall into.

Unsure if it exist tbh, it seems that my only experience with relationships and women seem to be very negative in nature.

I had it for a while, before my ex got tired of trying to mold me to her ambitious desires and decided to move on to "better men".

For a number of years it was pretty darned good and there was some genuine love there... I can't possibly express how much I miss it.

I had it. Then she got on this fad diet, and started farting all the time. Sheeesh.

But God she was beautiful, she looked a lot like me...

I've - goddamn this POS computer - I've thought this about my current relationship because my girlfriend is an amazing person, compassionate and understanding... sometimes I feel like I'm waiting for the catch. I mean she has some minor flaws - tends to be a bit loud for one - but overall considering the circumstances of her childhood she could have turned out a hell of a lot worse. That said, for a while I was hesitant in our relationship; I loved her but I didn't really trust her, I thought that she may just have been "playing along" like my ex did and that she didn't feel the same way about me. It wasn't until I head a heart-to-heart talk with a mutual friend of ours that I realized this was the real deal, our friend told me that my gf had "been happier than I had ever seen her" after we started dating. Our relationship has been going on for some time now (November of last year to be precise) and it seems to me that unlike last time the relationship I share with this girl has major emotional significance for the both of us. That's really all I want. All I ask of her is that she's honest with me, and so far she hasn't given me any reason to doubt her. I'm a lucky SOB that's for sure.

I think love can be obtained but it takes a huge amount of mutual understanding, respect and trust, it takes for two people to have faith in each other. To be honest, those of us on the spectrum are more likely to believe in this type of love because of our naivety.

Have you ever considered the possibility that you are viewing that one relationship through nostalgic rose tinted glasses and setting every other relationship or person you met to a high expectation or standard because you don't feel you will obtain love? We will only worthy of something if we truly feel deserving of it in our hearts.

If I thought I was being self delusional - I would have pulled myself up on it.
And my friends and family (especially my grandma) would have totally kicked my a** for it too.
Either way - someone would have smacked me hard for it - and nobody has.

I just think in that particular case we were extremely compatible - and it was totally obvious to everyone, not just me. Even both the families commented on it.
I don't hold them up to that standard - I have had others that were different - one in a good way, one in a bad way. That one is just the closed to what the OP described.

Fair enough, I wasn't applying it to your personal relationship or love life but I'm saying that's something that can happen to some people.

In a way yes.
However it is a rigorous regime that has to be met. Day in and day out.
People vary from one day to the next in terms of affection.
For example when two have an argument, they may not be as loving as when they are happy with each other.
No relationship is going to be a bed of roses for anyone as the process is very much black and white.

I feel like I have that now