Worst luck with girlfriends...

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First of all, I'm recently graduated from high school. I spent the second half of my senior year in a class where I met someone who I consequently fell in love with. Being that I'm an aspie and also have social anxiety disorder I was always too anxious to have any meaningful conversations with her. Due to this, I never managed to over-come my anxiety to really talk to her or hang out with her at all. After graduation, we went our seperate ways until a couple weeks ago. Right after graduation I had posted a profile on a personals site and two weeks ago got a response, turns out to be her. We spent several nights chatting online through the night and discovered how much we have in common as far as ideas, etc. Probably the most important factor in it possibly working out is how blunt and direct she can be with stating her mind. This works out great and compliments my asperger's syndrom perfectly. Then I find out she signed up for the army and is shipping out a few days after christmas for five years! Whenever we are online or meet we chat for hours but when it comes to actually spending time outside of her work (she works at a grocery store so I stop by every evening she works) and in person instead of online, she is usually busy. Whenever she isn't busy I'm working at one of my jobs. It just seems that the more I get to know about her, the more I love her and the more I realize it could work out. Five years is a long time, and I don't think I would be able to find anyone that is this good of a mutual match in personalities, etc. Sorry to ramble here, but it just seems like I have the worst timing in the world. I'm still trying to find out from her what she thinks about "us", but with how much she keeps commenting on how much "in common" we have and how great our personalities match, makes me think there could be something here. Or is my AS symptom of being obsessive about things making me read too much into this? It's hard for me to tell anymore since I haven't had a g/f since I was in fifth grade which of course wasn't really a "relationship".

You guys are lucky that you actually have had the experience of dating. I'm lucky that I didn't. I used to be involuntarily celibate but then I became voluntarily celibate (without, however, losing the substratum of incelness on which my firm convictions rest).

it means that my decision to become voluntarily celibate was based on my involuntary celibacy, and that nobody has asked me out since I became voluntary, so I'm still, in a way, involuntarily celibate.

I've had miserable luck with women myself. And I have a horrifying theory why.

I've always been nervous about getting too close to people, yet when I'm left completely alone I feel extremely lonely.

All of my experiences lead to the following conclusion: I will only be consciously interested in a girl if there is no way I can conceivably pick her up. For example, I suddenly decide I'm going to ask a girl out after I've known her for a while -- and just as I'm about to tell her she tells me she just got engaged. Every single girl I've been interested in has always been dating people.

It seems like I go out of my way to find girls I have no chance with. If I have no chance with them, I don't have to worry about emotions or anything like that. All these decisions seem to be subconscious.

sounds good that you've actually got something working out.

I have the worst luck with dating and i'm bi as well.
so i regularly fall victim to the "falling in love with someone in my class" thing
i'm never safe. Can't just hang out with other girls and be safe.

Some times I just wish I could not be attracted to anyone.

I only ever seem to get guys that don't really care about me and are just using me or girls that just want a one nighter.

It's hard not to feel like AS maks a loving relationship impossible sometimes.

~EG