Reasons Why I Can't Get A Date (A Self Analyzation)

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Let's get this straight: this is in NO WAY a self-pity post. I think we've seen enough of that on this site. This is basically a post of self-analyzation and I figured from one aspie to a community to show my thought process and putting down my inner frustrations for everyone to read when you feel bored or interested. Granted, I have been feeling this for a long time, and I do mean A LONG TIME. I have finally come to terms with myself and have realized my faults as both a potential lover and overall human being. Starting with:

Egotism: As much as I want to admit it, I have a bit of an ego. So much so that I'm a borderline prick to people. How so? I'm practically love myself to the point I could marry myself if it were legal. I'm a generally selfish individual. You recall reading that we see enough pity posts, correct? Everytime I see one of these posts, I can't help but to click on it and laugh at the pitifully hilarious "Woh is me" posts and people feeding attention to them just so that they can feel loved in a sense. I get a personal pleasure for doing that. Why? I love a good ego boost. An example in the real world, if I'm by myself, I have no problem walking up to a woman and flirt (in a group I pay no mind to anyone). I like a woman who can carry a conversation intellectually and can keep me interested. If you go on a rant about ERMAHGERD SUGAR IS SOOO BAD FOR YOU for ten minutes, I will say right to the girl's face 'Thanks for wasting my time. I didn't realize you were so boring; I deserve better than this.' and walk off. Here's the thing, I don't waste my own time listening to senseless clucking. Actually, since we're getting to that subject:

Bland Market: This should fit under egotism, but I believe this deserves it's own category. This might contribute to me staying in an already stale area, but the market is just bland. It seems like I'm looking at a cookie cutter personality trend these days. Either they are annoying, unpleasent, flighty, insane, or just wasted space. I've been to all corners of the US and it's the same BS like it is here in my humble town of Clemson. Granted, I get bored quite easily, but that doesn't excuse the fact that it's gotten difficult to find someone who won't kill me is my sleep or would make me contiplate suicide just to get away from them. Part of it is an expectation that doesn't really exist. Part of it is 'Well, I get sex out of this at least.' Since we're on the subject of women...

Women Are Just Batsh*t: You can disagree with me, but after a string of relationships and personal experiences, I have come to this conclusion. On a personal level, I lived with mostly women with a single Autistic brother keeping me afloat the massive pool of estrogen. Each of my sisters have mental instabilities ranging from Bipolar to Narcissism to bitterness, all without medication. At first I thought 'maybe other girls aren't like these neandrethals?' Almost every girlfriend I had were as batsh*t. The worst of them had Borderline Personality Disorder. This girl had the audacity to send me kiddie porn. You read that right: the most disgusting thing I've seen on the web (and I've seen some baaaad stuff). I broke communication immediately. Here is possibly the main reason why I do not dateor hold a stable relationship. My terrible experiences with both my family and other women have completely made me intolerate women to the degree of questioning the sanity of myself and others around me. It might change, it might not, but at this point I could care less.

Bipolarity and Tourettes: On top of Asperger's, I have been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and more recently a slight case of Tourettes. I like to call this 'The Triangle of WTF'. The Bipolar part doesn't come at a surprise, since it does run in the family. Having Aspergers on top of that does not help one bit, since they seem to compliment each other well in the worst ways. But unlike my family, I am medicated with Citalopram, an anti-depressant, and Divalproex, a mood stablizer, which help to a degree. Some days the meds have no effect. The Tourettes is a new addition to me, only recently discovering that unknowing screaming KITTENS!! ! In the middle of my work isn't necessarily normal (I work as a Manager in training at a pizza joint). I also say phrases and swear at times as well with no control. Sometimes I utter things that could get me in serious trouble. Example, I sure saying Allah in the middle of an airport is a sure way to drive unwanted attention. This indicates my lack of mental stability in maintaining a normal relationship without driving someone nuts.

It's a basic list of reasons I am in no way qualified to having a date. I'm a selfish individual with woman issues and a bit of a basketcase. I'm not calling for pity from anyone, this is just a self analyzing exercise I've done for myself. I know my flaws and will see to help improve myself. I feel at peace now. Feel free to enter your thoughts.

How are you supposed to have a normal relationship with batsh*t crazy' females? I am not even sure what a normal relationship would look like exactly but I think it would be hard to have one if both people or just one of them is batshit crazy.....maybe a not so normal relationship would work better.

I don't really know though I am certainly no dating expert.

Believe me, if I could find a gal that isn't messed up in the head I'd do my damndest to make sure I do not let her go. It's like I'm a crazy magnet or something. O.o

I've seen a normal relationship before. It's all about communication, compromise, and putting up with the other person's flaws and working around them. Just most chicks are not willing ro do that, I have no time for crap like that. Either work with me or GTFO. That's how I see it.