what about confidence

Post Reply New Topic

I always hear that women like men with confidence. And confidence is the most imporant thing to a women.
But what happen when you get a guy with confidence but has such a strange personality that no women
would ever want to talk to him. Or a man that is just very boring. So is it confidence or personality traits.
Because you find men who are good looking that has no confidence in themselfs but can still get a women to date them.
But you can find men who are confidence but are just very shy.
how can you tell who has confidence or not. Is the men that women happen to like just seem to have confidence.
And men that women don't like don't have confidence?
Or is confidence in men different for each women?
And how do women know whether or not a quiet guy has confidence.
And if a man doesn't approach a woman, how does mean he doesn't have confidence.
If a woman likes you: you will have confidence in her view
If a woman hates you: you will not have confidence in her view

Last edited by billiscool on 27 Oct 2012, 8:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

its both man.a confidently creepy guy is weird.

as i said in the tips to the men here thread. Confidence wont make a man, but it can break a man

It's not just confidence, it's projecting confidence without appearing cocky. One issue I have is that I am actually very confident most of the time, but I don't exactly portray confidence so people think I'm not.

You're over thinking this. Confidence is simply faith in your own talents and abilities. Men without confidence think they will constantly fail and, therefore, have nothing to offer. You can't just 'have confidence' so girls will like you. You have to believe that a girl will genuinely enjoy your company and find value in you. If you don't think you're worth anything, then girls liking you is not your biggest problem.

Not really. It just means he needs more confidence. See Frank Yang for an example.

how does a confident and creepy guy need more confidence? I already said he was confident lol?
frank yang is weird man.

Yes, but girls like him. He has a higher proportion of confidence to creepy/weirdness. So theoretically, you can solve all your problems with more confidence, but you end up being someone like Frank Yang with all the confidence (whether real or faking it til he makes it) but still all the awkwardness to go with it. Basically, I see Frank Yang, and easily imagine him as like, Chris-chan, just if Chris-chan lifted weights and had more confidence.

This is sort of the issue with me. I'm one of the more outgoing but weird Asperger people. If I'm confident I'm basically like Chris-chan and/or Frank Yang, which makes me weird as all hell, but confident and feeling good. If I lack confidence, then I'm shy and quieter, but less weird. So it's kind of a lose lose. That is my problem with confidence. My confidence and weirdness go up proportionally.

I have zero confidence and I'm very weird/awkward but I still have no trouble with women. Plus, I'm far from good looking.

I just socialize despite what I lack, and find women who are interested in similar things to my interests and I'm still learning to be a better conversationalist.

so you pretty debunked the whole having confidence gets girls thing. I think each women is looking for certain type of personality in a man she likes.

meems is a girl

Women are attracted to POWERFUL men, which are men who can walk into a room and get everyone's attention. That's what they mean by confidence. It's how you are able to hold yourself.

You're a girl.

I'm sure you are being self critical when you say that, you must project some kind of confidence as you are projecting confidence in this post now and you probably aren't as weird looking as you think. People seem to find their own imperfections greater than other people do.

I think I lack the confidence that I deserve a specific sort of person.. I see a lot of people going for some ideal partner and they're willing to be miserable while waiting for this prize relationsiship. I'm confident when I dance, or host a dinner party, I speak up and have confidence in my opinions and so on.

When it comes to approaching women, I go for the bare minimum. I flirt a little while we're hanging out and then the ball is in her court. If she doesn't seem interested, I don't feel disappointed. I don't think it's worth it to go out of my way to impress someone. If she's impressed with me it's going to be something that is actually reflective of how I really am. I don't pursue attention or affection where it is not offered and often I decline what attention people offer.

Sometimes guys (and women) keep trying despite a friendly letdown, that kind of confidence is what I lack. But I think that puts people in a position to be walked all over. I won't put up with games or a holier than thou attitude to get to some sort of romance.

I get rejected but I see that as a normal part of the dating world. I'm also not looking for a wife, or really even a girlfriend, so that probably makes it easier. I think not having confidence in an ideal situation makes it a lot easier to deal with dating.

It could also mean fearing a man, not actually respecting him. There are plenty of women who are attracted to vicious men like that, but you wouldn't want those kinds of women anyway.