Girls who are intentionally confusing

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I've known some girls, even the most sensitive ones like girlfriends, who have admitted that they enjoy intentionally confusing guys, especially when it's in reference to our own feelings that we've shared with them. I don't understand their reasoning. But it feels like it hurts me more than guys who aren't on the spectrum. It also seems other guys who aren't on the spectrum usually get frustrated rather than hurt, though I'm not sure if I'm correct on either of those guesses. But based on the fact that those of us who are on the spectrum are more prone to having a preference or requirement of routines, a clear set of rules and guidelines, etc., it also leads me to believe that when a girl is intentionally confusing, it hurts us more because she's unpredictable in a way which ends up affecting a greater part of ourselves and it can lead us to feel at least slightly betrayed and/or resentful because they're the ones who are supposed to be nice to us and we got hurt by them. And the fact that they confused us intentionally can make us feel like they hurt us intentionally, which may or may not have been the intent. Please stop.

This may or may not be true. Take comfort in the fact that girls do this to other girls too. And guys do it to other guys and other girls. So basically, people are jerks. Welcome to the world.
eta: the above sounds disrespectful but I don't mean it to be. I just mean that unfortunately, society in general currently isn't very kind.

It does make me feel somewhat better just knowing more about it. But I still don't know why they do it, even when they say they care about me. What makes even what seems like the nicest of people to do such things?

And don't worry. I understand what you meant. "Welcome to the world" meaning more as a general statement/way to identify with me of how frustrating/irritating life can be about people who are jerks, but not directed at me. Thank you for clarifying though, just in case I had ended up with different mindset regarding that.

This is a BS stock answer.

OP, you are correct in your observation. But cozysweater is correct in the fact that this is part of life. It is a staple of collective female behavior.

That's why you don't mess around with women, and just disappear for awhile as soon as they start trying to pull their phony mind-game crap on you. Then it becomes no fun for them.

Unfortunately, based on my observations of NT friends, it's primarily a way of making themselves feel good. It's oftentimes the women with self esteem issues, that temporarily get a high, from feeling intellectually superior to the man they've just confused. The feeling is fleeting at best, however, and so they keep having to do it over and over again in order to maintain any continuity. These are generally also the women that turn out to be jaded wenches, because they then get irritated that a man doesn't want them for who they really are. No, this one of those instances where I am not going to defend my fellow women, because it's one of the NT details I despise the most. It hurts everyone involved, and in lasting ways.

How is this a BS stock answer? I didn't say she WASN'T trying to be confusing and I didn't try to feed the OP some "fix". THAT would have been BS. I think though, that maybe you need to take into consideration that girls and women sometimes are nice or polite and that can be taken as encouragement when it wasn't meant to be. There's an evolutionary basis for why men have a lower threshold for "encouragement" and it's not always a bad thing, but sometimes it is. And there's likely a corresponding behavior in the sought after party (female or male) to take whatever advantage can be taken.

Look, I'm working myself up into a rant about the differences between the way men and women are treated and raised in even a western society, so I think enough is enough, but maybe consider that nobody has it easy in relationships. Not NTs, not anyone. That's why there are so many crappy pop songs and dumb movies about love. So, you know, maybe suck it up just a little.

Sure sounds like a sociopath to me... the need to feel powerful which is gained by taking power, happiness, dignity and other more tangible things from others.

Thank you so much for posting this!

I'm curious, what age group are you talking about here? I'm hoping that goes away somewhat as women grow into adulthood(25+), but I guess I'm not entirely confident about that. That does seem consistent with my observations though.

Some grow out of it... with others it simply becomes more subtle (or worse!) Believe me, I've met plenty... my ex-wife refused to believe how many manipulating women I kept crossing paths with, including her best friend (a well-known manipulator!)

I'm just such an easy target or something...

Welcome. Although, I cannot agree with the sociopath diagnosis. I was with one of those for ten years, and there is a very different manner about them, as opposed to the women I am describing. The women typically aren't all that attractive or educated, so they are trying to make up for these problems by coming out on top in another area. Second, a lot of them don't realize they are doing it, and the exchanges tend to be brief in duration. You mentioned subtlety in another area of the thread, and that's a third difference. They do tend to be more subtle, while the sociopaths are often charismatic, and try to draw in a larger crowd, with a single person as their primary focus.

Regarding age, I've seen this all the way from high school to the present, and my peers are in their 30s and 40s. If anything, as they age, it tends to get worse. I think a lot of it is cultural, however, because I didn't know nearly as many women in CA that acted that way, as opposed to Southeast Texas, where I grew up/live again now. People in this area make fun of those in CA, insisting they're all anorexic, and that it stems from low self esteem. Whereas here, they eat and ta too much, to make themselves feel better.

Once again - I like how you think. I might be overusing the term "sociopath" instead of the milder "master manipulator"... but boy did you nail how the manipulator thinks! Thanks for sharing the insight that women share and we men rarely get to see.