this is why i only get first dates

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im ugly...apparently the only girls interested in me are girls who meet me online , can't make out my face, meet me in person and are disgusted enough not to want a second date.
me

hey

11:02pm

hey

hey whats up

me

bored lol what aboutyou?

her

not much gonna go to bed soon

me: i see

her: yeah work in the morn

do u have anymore pics by the way?

me: no why?

you only have 3 lol

her: i mean that u could send

i cant really make ur face out

and yeah i know i ahve 3

me: sad thing is those were taken with my good cam lol

whichnolonger works lol

her: yeah that is sad

11:07pm

me: ouch...

This could be solved by you putting up a clear picture of yourself up on the website/messenger you are using. If they can not see it in the display picture, then send them a clear picture. That will allow you and the other person to save a lot of time and effort should they not find you attractive. Dating online or dating in real life has nothing to do with being 'attractive' or 'ugly'. Really? It boils down to personal preference. Most individuals who view themselves as 'ugly' choose to date online because they want the person to judge them by their personality as opposed to their looks. Even 'attractive' people can want others to judge them by the content of their characters and essence and not their looks. Even in real life, if you're not "attractive" (Which is subjective" one is still capable of courting a woman by their personality alone.

il linkto my profile. i think my pics are clear..although I can't get any better than this. I tried to make them clear.

my point with this thread is..this is why girls will be interested in me online and then once we meet for a first date they will not like me at all. It is bc im ugly. I personally think i look good, but the world does not.

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/rctriple ... le_similar

Those pictures are a bit fuzzy. But I could see you just fine. However; I shall say that it's strange how women agree to meet you, if they say they can not see your profile pictures. If they agree to meet you, then decided they do not want a relationship after the first date. Could it potentially be that something went wrong during the course of the date? Sometimes people may be physically attracted to you, but are turned off by something in the date. Whether that be lack of mutual interest or something else.

anything is possible. Ive trie asking for feedback when my second date requests get ignored but the girls dont give it. Guys like me never learn why they are single.

In the first line of your profile you describe yourself as "honest"... but the picture is half-decent at least.

*chuckles quietly to himself*

im not sure what you are trying to say? Ifeel insulted though

I'd recommend changing your main picture to one of just you, like a closeup on your face or something. Try smiling more, and try uploading more unique pictures. What I mean by that is... Look at the 3rd, 4th, and 5th pictures. Mostly the 3rd and 4th, because they're nearly identical, but the 5th one too... Not much is different. Yes, you are doing a different pose, but you're in the same place, wearing the same clothes... not much has changed at all. Don't you have any pictures of you out doing anything besides the last one? Find a park with some nice scenery or something... Don't just take pictures of you and you dancing with your dog in your living room.

As for the last picture, I can't even find you in it, and I'm not sure if that was put there by mistake or is a joke, or what. It's pretty random. Do you have any friends with a decent digital camera? Ask them to go somewhere that looks nice with you and take some pictures. Go some place you'd actually go to on your own though... Like, don't go to the opera hall(unless you actually like opera) and put on a suit for the picture. You should be yourself, but you want to show off things you enjoy doing.

Also, it's possible that girl just wanted you to send her pictures of you shirtless, or maybe even just cock shots. I don't know, I'm not that girl. Do you have a cellphone that can take and send pictures, and do you have her number? If so, I think you should have first of all taken a closeup of your face like she asked, and then asked if there was anything else she'd like to see. You gotta humor her and play along. It really IS a game, and I know it sucks at times, but it can sometimes be fun, too. After you send her a couple pictures, you could say something like, "okay, now it's your turn," and hopefully she'd send you some nice pictures too.

I just read thru some of your profile, and it seems to kinda jump around all over the place. Like, you don't pick a subject and stick with it. You just kinda blurt out facts about yourself randomly, which I guess is kinda the point, but the way it comes out just sounds too random. Perhaps that's what's going wrong with your dates too. Maybe they can't keep up with what the hell you're talking about because you keep talking about different things and switch subjects at random.

Please don't take any of this the wrong way. it's not meant as an attack, and if I'm wrong about the things I'm suggesting, feel free to tell me. I don't know how you speak in real life, but these are a few observations of mine.

Dave, you're a handsome man, and I'm straight so let's not get any more... akward than this.

I can make out the photos pretty good. If you want to get clearer photos, try using sunlight, ie a reflection off of glass.

Dude, you're getting a first date, the girls think you're attractive enough for the 'curb appeal.' Somethings going amiss on the first date.

Now I'm an outgoing NT btw, but if I had to guess, why you're not getting the second date...

Some you win, some you lose. It could be that you are not initiating enough on the first date, do you at least kiss close on the first date?

The best thing to do is pick an activity that is fun or something that involves her having fun and laughing. If she can associate positive and fun feelings or emotions with you, it's likely that she will want to meet you again.

You're not ugly, but the pictures are bad.

If you can afford it, consult a professional photographer.
A good one does not only have better camera equipment, but can also give hints on facial expression.

Good advice but truly I think he needs to upload a photo in a suit, a few body shots and photo lifting iron.

Mix it up a bit because some of the photos look very similar to each other.

I think his photos look good in my opinion...that girl was perhaps picky or looking for a certain feature that she likes. Maybe she hates big noses or I really don't know. Dopesn't look like you have a big nose anyway. I would date you if I were single and if you also found me attractive back. But provided you are a gentleman and such

That depends on the type of man he is and the type of woman he wants to attract.

If I see a photo of an attractive guy topless and lifting iron, I move on to the next profile, on the basis that he's clearly a self-obsessed, shallow, vain, self-loving jerk. Granted, photos like that are appealing to the eye, but that's about all.

If you want to let ladies know that you pump iron at the gym and have a pretty decent body, all it takes is a few lines in your profile saying "ladies, I pump iron at the gym and have a pretty decent body." That will arouse interest without actually showing anything off. Plus, it arouses curiosity and makes ladies think: "oooh, I wonder if he has a very nice body? I wonder what it looks like?" There's a lot to be said for keeping private things private and maintaining some mystery and modesty on both sides - but sadly, most fit men do not like to do that. Instead, they like to post in-your-face topless pictures of themselves posing like porn stars or personal trainers.

Clearly, the OP is not one of those kind of awful guys, because he is not posting photos that imply that he is. He is posting photos in which he looks attractive, yet awkward and shy. That's a very winning combination. Attractive and shy is a far nicer combination than attractive and arrogant, in my opinion. It would be a shame for him to take your advice and give out the impression that he is a confident, self-obssessed, shallow, vain, self-loving jerk. That would mean that all the wrong types of women would flock to him like flies, and when they arrived he would not know how to live up to the fake persona he'd created in his photos thanks to your generic advice.

OP, speaking as a female, I do not think you look ugly at all. I think you look very nice.

I agree with other people saying that you just need some closer-up photos of your face and some less blurry full-body shots. No need to take off your top though. No need to downgrade yourself to the category of yet another vain man desperate to attract shallow women by showing off his body.

*Reads OP's profile again*

OK, so you're a power-lifter and people tell you you look like Keanu Reeves?

Clearly, the problem is NOT ugliness! You must have a nice body AND a nice face!

Also, you are a genuine certified personal trainer, yet you are also modest and shy enough NOT to take self-loving, vain topless photos of yourself showing off your muscle?

Ladies, what's wrong with you all? This guy is a gem! Go and get him!

P.S. Also, he has a gorgeous fuzzy dog. What's not to love?

@OP:

You're not ugly, but get a haircut and wear nice clothes when you go on a date.

I was gonna say, it COULD be his attitude towards women, then I remembered there are guys with worse attitudes than him about women who can get and keep them quite easily. Maybe just bad luck?