So I didn't approach - is all lost now ?

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lennyk
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07 Nov 2012, 8:26 pm

Girl at the gym, pretty sure she was receptive to me approaching her by her eye contact etc.
Me as usual wasted time and appears the walls are up now plus my gym is kinda hard to just physically find oneself in a position to make small talk, at least for me.

My training partner and I tried using some equipment nearby and she definitely was more than just aware of us there.
More than likely I am now in the snob/idiot book.

Is this a hopeless situation ? Help ?

L



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08 Nov 2012, 9:00 am

lennyk wrote:

Is this a hopeless situation ? Help ?



It could be hopeless cause at a gym women will usually ignore you if you're weak. But then if you're strong they'll often still ignore you because they assume you're trying to impress them.:roll: In other words it could be a no-win situation even if she finds you attractive.



GiantHockeyFan
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08 Nov 2012, 9:07 am

As a rule I don't bother talking to any woman at the gym because they will usually perceive a friendly hello as a sexual advance. There are plenty of places to try meeting women but don't even bother there because the few who don't have attitude problems will usually instantly reject you because you aren't a meat-head with a 6 pack.



lennyk
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08 Nov 2012, 2:35 pm

well the thing is I am 99% sure she was sending subtle signals
but AS kicked in and all can do is think about it now



Uprising
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08 Nov 2012, 2:59 pm

Over here we started having female-only gyms because of stuff like this.

So my warning to you all: DO NOT APPROACH GIRLS IN THE GYM!



BlueMax
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08 Nov 2012, 3:10 pm

Regardless of where the flirting happened, if you're unlikely to see her again one should either just enjoy the smile as some sort of flirt and continue on with life knowing a pretty girl gave you a nice smile -- OR "strike while the iron is hot" and introduce yourself and have a conversation while the possible interest is there.

If you miss it, it's gone... but don't despair because it'll happen again if you're out in the world where people are. ;)



lennyk
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08 Nov 2012, 8:26 pm

you're right, dwelling on it is a waste of effort



MXH
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08 Nov 2012, 8:49 pm

lennyk wrote:
you're right, dwelling on it is a waste of effort

yep. if you f****d up, just gotta move on. But ill say that time and place is everything.



lennyk
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09 Nov 2012, 6:12 am

it would be nice to hope that we don't get written off so fast though



Duncan
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09 Nov 2012, 8:48 am

Can I just flip this discussion on it's head, I'm sure you've dismissed countless girls without thinking about it and countless girls have done this to you without your knowledge. To connect people you need to be willing to be open but also know when to stop. The way I've deal with it is by opening myself up to as many people as possible. Every girl has the potential that love of your life you might want. ALWAYS give people a second chance unless they have something very bad to you or generally behaved badly. By doing this you're opening yourself up to endless possibilities and thereby giving you a better chance to find the right one.



Chronos
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11 Nov 2012, 4:39 am

Being a woman, I think I can probably provide a more accurate assessment of the situation.

It is NOT true that women will only consider the strongest man at the gym. In fact, most women are turned of by "gym bunnies" because they perceive them as shallow and less trustworthy than average looking men.

It IS ok to say hello to a woman at a gym. She will not necessarily automatically assume you are trying to pick her up, and if she does, is that really a bad thing in light of the fact that you are?
I recall one time I was at the gym and walking down a hallway, one of the other regulars was walking parallel to me a few feet away. Opposite to us was a gentleman about her age who had also be somewhat of a regular, but instead of walking passed us, he stopped right in front of her and said "Excuse me ma'am, I've seen you around here and I'd like to introduce myself."

It was pretty apparent that she was just as smitten with him as he was of her and I imagine it had been love at first sight for both of them.

Next time you see this woman, why not say the same thing?



lennyk
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15 Nov 2012, 2:42 pm

well, I did approach the said female this week and was able to exchange names and pleasantries in a positive manner based on her smile when I asked her name.