If you told your partner

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You were feeling sad, down and out...what would you do to cheer your them up
?

Let' go do something you like to do!

I didn't quite understand your syntax, so I'll be a bit on the blind here.

Well, I for one like to be left alone when I'm feeling down, although that doesn't really help me get better . I've found both with me and other people, just being there helps a lot, even if there is not much talking. I'm not particularly good at cheering people up though~

Well, I'd want to do the things I know my partner really likes. I'd make it blatantly obvious that she's appreciated, loved and I really want her to feel better!

...in my own personal, goofy flair.

Oops... the Comrade made a point I neglected... asking WHY they're upset is a critical element! Of course, many people won't want to actually talk about it until some of the negativity has been taken away, so my original plan would be put into effect.

[rubs hands together] Yes.... yes.... my plan ees verkeeng...

ComradeKael, I like that. `A lot .

I'd probably try explaining how to solve the underlying issue why.

Last time I bumped into this kind of situation, I came over to her place and got her out of her apartment for a few hours and she actually thanked me the next day saying that I made her feel happier. I almost had a tear run from my eyes because I never knew I could accomplish something like that.

My syntax was indeed rubbish, I am sorry. When I am not well, everything falters, even my writing. I am sure many will comprehend by having been in the same situation.

Even though you are not my partner/s, your comments made me feel better. Thank you. x

If I am reading correctly you are the one who is upset and want your partner to do something. Are you asking here so you can know what others would do so you can then compare "yeah that would be nice but he isn't doing that?" I use to go through that a lot. I am NT he is AS. It use to be that I would be sad or upset and he didn't seem to notice. Or I would have a bad day at work and he wouldn't seem to care. I started telling him what I was upset about, why I was upset and what I needed from him.... A hug... You to just let me talk for a bit etc.. it didnt take long and now he knows just what I need for each type of situation. People tend to act toward you the way they want to be treated in the same situation. When he is upset about something I try to ask "is there anything I can do for you?"

Thanks LoriB. That's really nice of you to say.

I tend to isolate myself when I am feeling down. I have a lot of stress to cope with at work, plus my sensory issues, which are debilitating me a lot. I find it hard to ask for help. It's been years adopting a strategy to survive and now I struggle to change. I was having CBT but my therapist said I need to see a shrink specialised in AS. I am still waiting. I stopped my meds because I thought they were having no effect (I still do). I broke up with my partner, because I thought he was a player and didn't care about me. He also has AS. Maybe I should try saying what I want...yes. I am having lunch with him tomorrow because he said he wanted to prove to me it's not just about sex. I think he means he doesn't want us to break up? I asked him via email but he says he wants to discuss it when we meet. I *hate* confrontation. I can't read body language and he tends to speak in riddles (I think my AS is worse than his).

Big Hugs!! I don't know if this will help.. But girl to girl (no AS/NT needed on this one) Try this.. What is bothering you? Work stress? Why does it bother you? (I can't really answer but I am going to say...) I worry about my job? or what ever... What do I want? Just to be able to talk it out and be held for a minute and reassured... Ok, so now you know. then you say... "Love, (or what ever you call him) I am having a really bad day. work is stressful. This is what I am doing...xxxyyyzzz... but I am still afraid of/worried about xxxxyyyyzzz... I know you can't fix it, but do you think I could do anything differently???.... pause for an answer.... you know... Right now I could really use a hug and maybe for you to hold me for a minute. I feel safe when I am in your arms. He will get that! He may just not know what you need. When I am home I feel safe... when he holds me I can escape for a minute. Life is hard, but having someone reassure you makes it better. doesn't matter who is "worse" AS/AS, AS/NT, NT/NT it is all the same..
1.. What is wrong
2. Why are you upset
3 What do you need
communicate that and it will all be ok