Waiting Until Marriage?

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I plan on getting married one day. I know that God has someone out for me and I'm pretty impatient to meet him.
But I have a problem.

I may or may not be asexual?

I don't mind the idea of dating, or being close to whoever it is that I will love, but kissing?

Sex?

Children?

I want to be comfortable with the idea of all these things, but I'm just...not.
Does anyone else feel like this? Is there a way to overcome it? I think maybe it's just something that's hard to imagine since I've never been there.
(Never dated before. High school sucked.)
But what if it isn't?
Help?

(I don't know how else to say this, but, if you're just going to judge me for being a Christian, don't bother commenting. You're not going to change my mind.)

Well, how much do you really want a relationship? The most I can decipher from your post is "I don't mind the idea". It sounds to me like you aren't that interested. So, if I may ask, why do you plan on getting married?

I respect those who choose to remain virgins till marriage. No judgement.

I think you can kiss though

But it is a difficult issue. If you are asexual, it's not something you can hide. There's nothing wrong with it, but it's one of those issues that you must discuss. If you try to hide it, I think that it will destroy your relationship.

I don't have good advice for you. One could argue get married and see what happens just as easily as one could argue take her for a test drive.

I can only say that I am someone who never dated in high school, I still had (and still have) a strong desire to have sex and ultimately have kids.

It kind of sounds like you want a friendship marriage.

Personally, I really really wanted to do this too. I was raised very religious.

But here's the problem: I have a sh***y personality due to my ASD. So I have found that if I do not "lock down" the girl fairly quickly (so she thinks there's an emotional connection even if there isn't), it's impossible to get beyond just a few dates. My fake NT personality is too hollow, and no girl wants to date someone with Asperger's. So my solution, which I developed with the help of my womanizing Army buddies, works fairly well.

But yeah ... to each his own. I'm just warning you that if you have no clue how to develop a relationship with another human being (like me), your strategy (if you are a guy, maybe girls too) may lead to a lifetime of loneliness.

I don't think God will get mad if you do kissing or cuddling lol. I recommend you try kissing. If you enjoy it and you feel an urge in your body to go further then it probably means you are not asexual. If kissing seams gross and unnatural, you are likely asexual. Whenever I kiss someone, I always have the urge to keep going, but I resist it if I don't love the person. That is how I know I am not asexual. Hope this helps

I'm not saying I think kissing is wrong. I don't. It's just thinking about any kind of physical contact beyond cuddling feels weird. And even that's iffy. I do want a relationship, though. Why? I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. As much as being alone is my comfort zone, it's already getting old, and comfort zones were made to be left at least every once in a while. I've tried new things before and found they weren't that bad, is this any different? I want to curl up with someone in a king size bed in a house we both own. I have a queen at my parents' house with way too much room in it. My friends and aquaintances are all getting engaged, or about to be, or going on dates, and then there's me. I mean, I have people I would like to date, and if I did I would do it with the intention of marriage. How do I get there, though? I think that's the big question.

Knowing if you're asexual or not is VERY IMPORTANT if you're even considering dating, let alone marriage.

Your partner needs to be on the same page or it's doomed to a tragic end when one partner wants something the other is totally unwilling to provide.

Since the Bible says married partners need to be "equally yoked" (even), you can rest assured that even God Himself would not object to you kissing the object of your affection - especially to see if you're compatible before pledging to marry them FOR LIFE!

It's only fair to yourself AND your partner! Now pucker up and get in there!

I applaud you for wanting to wait. I have now been married for 29 1/2 yrs. I waited even for kissing anyone and that has been worth it as well. I don't know how old you are, but I only had 2or 3 "dates" (after high school), before I met my now husband at college. It took leaving the area that I had grown up in, to find the guy for me. I grew up in MI and found him in MO.

Develop a list of qualities that you are looking for in your guy and stick to it that way you don't end up w/ Mr. Wrong. Also, working on becoming the right girl will help as well, learning skills like cooking and such in advance, can't hurt either.

Don't presume God has anything planned for you if that's what you're thinking.

sounds like anxiety because of fear of rejection, society failure. If everyone owns you then you will never own yourself. Love yourself first, then decide what will come to you