Do you have any guy/girl problems, regardless of status?

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AnonymousAnonymous
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29 Dec 2006, 3:06 pm

I have two, even though I am single.

At school, there is a gay guy named Aaron. Even though he has a bf, he loves to follow me whenever he can get the chance to. Before we left for Winter Break, I was making my Power Animal in the science room. Aaron came in & saw me, even though I was unaware of his presence. When we acknowledged each other, he had the creepiest, but friendly, smile on his face. I have told Aaron's bf, but he keeps on following me.

Also, there is Liz. Liz is an all-out-get-in-your-face kind of person. Even though she has a bf of her own, she loves to attempt conversation with me whenever she can get the chance to, in the prescene of her bf. Through the bf and the vice principal at school, I have told her to stop several times but she tells me that I shall be lonely until I graduate. I hate her, even though she does not mean what she is doing to me.

What can I do about both of them? Avoiding them no longer works.



myeyesseekreality
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29 Dec 2006, 4:40 pm

Be cruell, I find it works well for the last resort. Me though I don't care what anyone thinks of me. I don't like people much so it doesn't really matter. I'm nice, I just don't relate to others. Another thing that has worked for me when people are bothering me(the timeing has to be right) is if I'm around them, and feel a meltdown comeing. I don't go off, and hide. Once the melt down happens they never bother me again.

My problems stem from not knowing if some one likes me till it's to late. Also if a girl I'm attracted to smiles at me I can't tell if it was friendly, or she likes me. That has lead to much embarassment in my life. :oops:



Starbuline
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29 Dec 2006, 5:02 pm

I'm more comfortable with the opposite sex(males). I usually get awkward around girls for some odd reason. Actually, males appreciate my oddness a little more than girls do. :?



CockneyRebel
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29 Dec 2006, 6:30 pm

Tell them to get lost.



Corvus
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29 Dec 2006, 9:23 pm

Starbuline wrote:
I'm more comfortable with the opposite sex(males). I usually get awkward around girls for some odd reason. Actually, males appreciate my oddness a little more than girls do. :?


I've heard other females say similar to that.

Girls are head cases. Guys, I find, are just more open on average.



Paula
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30 Dec 2006, 3:19 am

You are going to have to be really firm with them. You want them to stop then they need to...period, or it's harrassment. Looks like you have been. I'd hate for you to have to tell them you'd report them, but if they don't stop you may not have a choice. Just continue to tell them to stop and walk away from all conversation they try to make with you. Maybe they are just trying to be friends????? Naw, you don't feel comfortable and thats all that matters. And they just have to accept that. Geez, good luck here.



AnonymousAnonymous
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01 Jan 2007, 5:42 pm

Paula wrote:
You are going to have to be really firm with them. You want them to stop then they need to...period, or it's harrassment. Looks like you have been. I'd hate for you to have to tell them you'd report them, but if they don't stop you may not have a choice. Just continue to tell them to stop and walk away from all conversation they try to make with you. Maybe they are just trying to be friends????? Naw, you don't feel comfortable and thats all that matters. And they just have to accept that. Geez, good luck here.


I already have reported them to the vice principal, nothing happened, they continued on. Even though A&L have continued to follow me, I have told other students, I have told my teachers, etc. When either of them came up to me, they now mock me.
I told them everything in the book & what you have told me to do & they still do it.

:x :x :x :x :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil:



Tequila
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01 Jan 2007, 5:47 pm

That is turning into seriously nasty stalker territory. They have to be breaking the law. What legal avenues are open to you?



AnonymousAnonymous
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01 Jan 2007, 6:06 pm

Tequila wrote:
That is turning into seriously nasty stalker territory. They have to be breaking the law. What legal avenues are open to you?


It usually happens at school so there is not much I can do about it.



shadexiii
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01 Jan 2007, 6:07 pm

AnonymousAnonymous wrote:
At school, there is a gay guy named Aaron. Even though he has a bf, he loves to follow me whenever he can get the chance to. Before we left for Winter Break, I was making my Power Animal in the science room. Aaron came in & saw me, even though I was unaware of his presence. When we acknowledged each other, he had the creepiest, but friendly, smile on his face. I have told Aaron's bf, but he keeps on following me.

[joke]
What about following him around? If he tries to follow you, if it doesn't disrupt your schedule, just stop what you're doing, sit down or something, and wait for him to leave. Then follow him.
[/joke]

All kidding aside, it sounds like the best plan is to be more firm with him. Tell him to leave you alone, directly. If he continues to follow you, well, do what you think necessary (within the law) to convince him it is in his better interests not to. Definitely creepy from your decscription. I hate to say it, and I don't all that much condone it, but at times the threat of violence alone is enough. You don't have to want to punch him or anything, just to give the impression that you're tired of his s**t, and you won't put up with it.

AnonymousAnonymous wrote:
Also, there is Liz. Liz is an all-out-get-in-your-face kind of person. Even though she has a bf of her own, she loves to attempt conversation with me whenever she can get the chance to, in the prescene of her bf. Through the bf and the vice principal at school, I have told her to stop several times but she tells me that I shall be lonely until I graduate. I hate her, even though she does not mean what she is doing to me.

She's (from the limited description I have) acting pretty arrogant, as if she's benefitting you with her presence. If you want to get her off your back, say something along those lines but in the negative, for instance that you'd rather be lonely than have to deal with her.

Is that a hurtful thing to say? Yeah, it is. Is it warranted in this case? I'd say so. You've tried in civil ways to get her to leave you alone. She's not getting the hint. If you're on reasonable terms with her boyfriend, tell him that this is the point that you're at, and that its nothing against him, but you've got to do what you've got to do to get the point across. That way you're also covering yourself in case he were to get pissed if you really upset her. It would also give him one last chance to get the point across for you.

Like I said before, I don't really condone that practice, unless it is necessary, and from how you have described it that seems to be the case. Good luck with it.

EDIT: Added the joke tags to make sure it is absolutely clear that I wasn't serious about following the one guy around.



Last edited by shadexiii on 01 Jan 2007, 6:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

logitechdog
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01 Jan 2007, 6:10 pm

***I have told her to stop several times but she tells me that I shall be lonely until I graduate. I hate her, even though she does not mean what she is doing to me. ***

When you tell her to stop you need to use body language in a threatening way as if you will stand your ground - need to use the right tone - and say it like you really mean it.... No one will listen to you unless you show that you will stand your ground - firm voice tell her to **** off or else... & you don't want to know what the or else is... I'm sick of you fallowing me around & saying I am lonely the only problem here is you and your self centred ego trying to get off on me just to uplift your self-esteem

Don't need to use the swear word like ....

http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relation ... esteem.htm

Avoding does not work against people just keep targeting you.. Might want to take an assertive class...

As for the male - you will need to give more detail on why he's got a creepiest smile... but have you told him to get lost or why he is fallowing you???



AnonymousAnonymous
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01 Jan 2007, 6:23 pm

I don't want to follow Aaron around. He & his bf are very protective of each other.
Aaron's creepy smile is that because maybe he is trying to convert me?

Listen, I have to go somewhere so I'll continue in what I was interrupted in later.



shadexiii
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01 Jan 2007, 6:46 pm

AnonymousAnonymous wrote:
I don't want to follow Aaron around. He & his bf are very protective of each other.
Aaron's creepy smile is that because maybe he is trying to convert me?

Listen, I have to go somewhere so I'll continue in what I was interrupted in later.


The following him around bit was a joke. Thought I had made that clear, made it more so now.



Paula
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02 Jan 2007, 1:43 am

So now you go to the District office and ask to speak to "Student Support Services" and let them know what is happening at your school. I hope you've documented everything, if not, not to big of deal because once you complain to the district then your school knows you aren't kidding. I hope you bring your parents with you also. You also may need to file harrassment charges against the harrassers. If you live in the states you also have ground for a law suit. I was going to go this route when my daughter was being bullied, but the principal figured out that I knew what my daughters rights were and she made sure my daughter was left alone, also confronting the bullies and trying to contact parents.....another story, at anyrate, the problem stopped.



AnonymousAnonymous
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02 Jan 2007, 3:09 pm

Paula wrote:
So now you go to the District office and ask to speak to "Student Support Services" and let them know what is happening at your school. I hope you've documented everything, if not, not to big of deal because once you complain to the district then your school knows you aren't kidding. I hope you bring your parents with you also. You also may need to file harrassment charges against the harrassers. If you live in the states you also have ground for a law suit. I was going to go this route when my daughter was being bullied, but the principal figured out that I knew what my daughters rights were and she made sure my daughter was left alone, also confronting the bullies and trying to contact parents.....another story, at anyrate, the problem stopped.


Well to tell you the truth, PPS {Portland Public Schools} will not grant me face time with SSS & they will probably laugh at me once my story is told. Now, it is best if I keep this harassment to myself.
My HS thinks I am fibbing but if this goes on till March, then I will contact SSS.



shadexiii
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02 Jan 2007, 3:20 pm

AnonymousAnonymous wrote:
Well to tell you the truth, PPS {Portland Public Schools} will not grant me face time with SSS & they will probably laugh at me once my story is told. Now, it is best if I keep this harassment to myself.
My HS thinks I am fibbing but if this goes on till March, then I will contact SSS.


If you aren't being taken seriously, threaten to go over the person's head. If they laugh and say go right ahead, thank them for their time and let them know you'll be informing their superior of their less than helpful, if not insulting, demeanor. Nothing like threatening to work to get someone fired to make them more helpful.

There's no reason to wait on this if it has you this stressed out.